Finding Joy & Peace

Whatever can spark joy and happiness in your life, however small it is, look for ways to implement them into your daily life. I think it is important to find joy and peace in life however way you possibly can.

As I mention in other posts, work has been a struggle lately. I am exhausted, tired and overwhelmed from work. I don’t always look forward to going, or look forward to the work day weeks. I also don’t want these feelings about work to spill into my everyday life, the times I am away from work. I don’t want negative thoughts and feelings to pervade my life, so I try to find ways to bring some enjoyment to my life.

One thing I enjoy is drinking a cup of Dunkin coffee before work. Coffee gives me energy. It also puts me in a better mood. This helps get me through the work day, and actually makes me look forward to Mondays and Fridays(those are the days I get coffee). It is a nice little treat before work. Any little thing that can bring happiness is all that matters.

I also have been into buying plants. I truly enjoy having them around my room. Just looking at them, brings me joy. I usually go to a plant nursery on Saturdays to pick new ones out. I really enjoy just looking around seeing all the pretty plants around me, and picking the ones that I like. I truly enjoy being surrounded by plants at home. Coming home after an exhausting day to my lovely plants is something that brings life back to me.

One thing that helps keep me at peace is doing meditation before going to work. I try to do a session to calm my mind and body, before I head into the craziness of work. It definitely helps calm me down more. It helps me handle the stressors of work much better. I still get stressed, but not as stressed if I didn’t meditate. It also puts me in a more positive, happier mood going into work. As I mention in my last post, I also try to take deep breaths whenever I feel overwhelmed as well. This also helps.

Some things in life can be stressful and difficult, but not everything in life is that way. There will be times of joy and peace that you can embrace and enjoy when it arrives. It is all about making the time to do so. Be in the moment. We allow our minds to be preoccupied with the bad parts of our lives. We forget to take time to enjoy the good moments.

I work majority of the time. We spend most of our time at work. I get how being at a job you don’t enjoy can be a bummer, but we can’t allow our feelings towards work, or any difficult part in our lives pervade our mind into a negative place. Now I actually don’t dislike my job. It just gets overwhelming. All jobs have stressful parts to it. If you don’t enjoy your work, than it may be time to get out of your comfort zone, and look else where, because as I mentioned, your job makes up most of your life. It can be hard to enjoy life, if you don’t enjoy what you do.

We should try to strive to find joy and peace in life when we can. It is important for our mental health and well-being. It can be something little, something big, or in between. Just find something that can lift you up, and help keep you in the moment. To appreciate and embrace the joys and peaceful moments in life.

Years go by fast, months go by fast, weeks go by fast, and so do days. We are already near the new year. We try to rush by the days(I do this as well), but maybe we can use everyday to find some joy and peace in it. Maybe we can learn from the difficulties of that day as well. We should learn to embrace each day, and take the moments of that day in as much as we can, because sooner, rather than later, the years will have passed by and you truly haven’t lived, or enjoyed life as much as you wanted. Be mindful of the moments in life. Enjoy, find peace, and live as fully as you can.

My Mindful Morning

It has been so long, since I had a mindful morning to focus on myself. I just wanted to talk about my mindful morning, and how having these mindful mornings can be very relaxing, therapeutic and peaceful for oneself.

I woke up around 6:30 A.M. It was still dark outside. I truly enjoy waking up, before the sun rises. There is something so peaceful about being up at that time. It feels like a nice head start to the day. I took that time to check my plants and water them. I always enjoy doing that. Then I decided to do my weekly grocery shopping. I like to go early, before it gets too packed. I like my peace.

Once I go home, I wrote my next blog entry. After that, I decided to read my mindful morning book. It has been forever, since I read that. I was happy to read it again, because it gives me reminders of how to live mindfully, and it also sparks some inspiration.

After that, I did some meditation. It is always hard for me to do meditation, so I am happy I have an app that I now can log in my meditation sessions. I put to do one a day, so now this motivates me to do a session, it gives me accountability. I have now been able to keep up with it. I enjoy meditating, but getting into the habit of doing it has been my struggle. I think this app accountability will help.

After gaining clarity from that session. I decided to journal and write my thoughts for the morning. It was nice to get my thoughts out there. I always feel better writing my thoughts down on paper. It is really relaxing and therapeutic.

Once I finished that, I decided to put my headphones on and listen to some music. I have been wanting to practice my voice for awhile. I don’t use it enough anymore, and I like to sing how I used to, so I sang some tunes, while listening to it. I liked being able to work on my vocals, while listening to some great music. I really need to do this practice everyday. After that, I did some searching for some new material for my next blog post.

All in all, this was a very relaxing and productive morning. I absolutely enjoyed it. A mindful morning for yourself is really important for your peace of mind. It is nice to take time for yourself without the distractions of the world coming at you. Just you, your thoughts and life around you. Being present and enjoying the moment in front of you.

The Art of Letting Go

It is called an art, because it takes a certain skill to be able to do this. Letting go is not easy for us humans to do. We love to attach to things. For us to find inner peace and have a healthy mindset it is important to let go. In the Buddhist practice, they state attachment creates suffering. Attachment allows us to hold on to things longer then we should.

We hold on to good, or bad memories, past relationships, people, expectations, things, past experiences, ideas and many other things. It is hard to move on, especially if we focus on only the good parts of these stories, and cling on to them. It is perfectly fine and healthy to look back on the past to learn, to see how far we come, to look back on the experiences we had, and the people in our lives. It start to affect us negatively when we yearn to go back, and want things how it was.

We like comfort. What we know brings us comfort. Good times brings us comfort. It can be hard to let go when things in your life at the moment aren’t the greatest. These times, it can be easy to want things they way they were. We must remember that inner peace comes from being in the moment. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t arrived yet. Both are illusions. We must learn to create joy in the present, so we don’t have to look to the past or future. If you can’t find joy, acceptance is powerful. Accept what is, and see what you can learn from being in the moment. Tough times can always spark up creativity and inspiration. It may suck now, but you can always work on making things better, rather than wallowing in self despair, which serves you no purpose.

We must remember that life is always changing. We are always evolving. Nothing stays the same. When we learn to accept this reality. We learn to live life more peacefully. If you continue to cling on to the past, people, things, etc,…It can create misery and suffering. Just think about how continuously looking to the past has served you?

Resisting changes leads to suffering. Wanting things to be comfortable all the time leads to suffering. Wanting to experience only good things leads to suffering. Let go of the idea that life should be a certain way. Let go of the control you think you have over others and life situations. Life is the way it is, always changing, with its struggles, and with its bad moments. Life is hard. Life is not perfect. Once you come to this realization. You will find peace and freedom, and the ability to let go with much more ease. I won’t say letting go will ever be easy, but your ability to handle letting go can get better with this realization, awareness and mindful practice.

My Weekend Getaway to the Beach: Appreciation of the Good Times& Transitioning Back to Reality

I went on a mini vacation to Ocean City this weekend. It was quite lovely. I had ocean view, so it was nice to sit outside and hear and view the ocean. It was really peaceful and relaxing. This gave me the space to relax and chill. I had time to be more mindful, do some reading, journaling, some meditating and chatting up and connecting with my friend. It was a really nice time. It gave me time to think, let my thoughts out and reflect. I feel completely refreshed and rejuvenated from this trip. I recommend taking a trip to the beach if you need space to be more mindful and be at peace.

It was really wonderful to see the different colors of the sky throughout the day. I liked the changes. I even enjoyed viewing the grey and cloudy skies on the last day. It helped soothe my soul. I like sunny days and blue skies, but I also welcome cloudy, grey days. I think I learned to appreciate the darker, gloomy side of things, along with the brighter ones. Life is about balance, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the good and the bad times. I appreciate them both. The yin and the yang.

Appreciating the Good times

I had a wonderful time there. It really made me appreciate the wonderful experiences I was able to have there, but I also realized this wouldn’t last, and I would have to go back home. Some dread going back and I thought I would, but by Sunday I was already missing home. I missed my plants. I missed the comfort of home, my bed, my room. I missed my routine. Some can take vacations for weeks. I realized a couple of days works just fine for me. I realized that I like a routine, and you don’t really get much of it on vacation. I enjoyed my time, but I wasn’t sad about leaving. I just come to appreciate great experiences like this. Not many get the chance to do things like this. I was able to have a nice ocean view like I always wanted to. It was a great time, but these great times won’t always last. Real life will come back.

Transitioning back to reality

For some like me, it is easy to transition back. I am happy to be back home. I am happy to see my plants again. Unfortunately some did suffer from my absence, but most did well. I am happy to be back to a routine. I am not too happy to get back to work, but it is part of life and I have come to accept it. There are some exhausting and overwhelming moments, but this job has provided many benefits for me. I don’t like to just focus on the bad, but look at both sides. There are good and bad to all things, even if you choose to just see the good or bad.

You may get caught up in vacation mode and want to stay there forever. Real life may not be as exciting, but there could be small joys you could bring to your life to make it a little more exciting. For me, it is my plants. Vacations are great, but if life is great all the time, how can you be able to appreciate and truly enjoy vacations when they come? Going back to work is the hardest, but it is part of living. Acceptance will set you free. Resistance will cultivate many negative thoughts and emotions, which will leave you in a negative place mentally. Tell yourself “it is what it is” and keep moving forward. You got to move forward, not backwards. It has already happened. Appreciate it and move on. Looking back is perfectly healthy, but yearning to go back can lead to a negative mindset.

I do still feel at peace from my trip. I am still motivated to write and read. This trip has really put me in a mindful place and I appreciate that. Just last night. I put on some beach sounds and did some writing and reading. Of course it wasn’t the same, but it gave me a familiar sensation from my trip. It kind of brought me back to it. It is nice to look back with fond memories of a good time. Life is not a vacation. It is hard work. It is full of struggles and pain. Vacations are there to get away for awhile. To enjoy, relax and experience wonderful moments. It isn’t an everyday life thing. Once you can accept that. Life back to reality will be much smoother.

Some love vacations and don’t want to come back, some love them, but are ready to come back after a couple days, some don’t care for it. I do think vacations are important to recharge oneself. We should enjoy life, while we can. We are all different and have different needs. Do what is best for your mental health. Some need two weeks, some need a couple of days. Just remember that you will eventually have to let go and move on to reality. Nothing you can do to change that, unless you get a job where you can travel a lot.

Most aren’t happy to be back, but I am. I got my comfort of home, my routine, my plants. I appreciate that it gave me material to write a post. It also put me in a place of peace and calm. The trip gave me a new perspective and outlook on things. It allowed me to experience something outside the norm. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to life.

Below are a couple of pictures from my hotel. I truly hope all of you had a chance to enjoy some time away and find some peace for the mind and body.

Dealing With Self Sabotaging

This type of habit may not be known to many. We may do it subconsciously and wonder why bad things continue to happen, or wonder why things don’t go our way. All of that can be due to self sabotaging. We tend to do this in the form of procrastination, avoiding promotions, not moving towards personal growth, turning to drugs, alcohol or food. There are plenty of ways we can find to sabotage our success and growth. Most of the time we don’t know we are doing it. So what is it? Why do we do it? And how can we overcome it?

What is it?

“Self-sabotage is when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals. This behaviour can affect nearly every aspect of life be it a relationship, a career goal, or a personal goal such as weight loss. Although very common, it is an incredibly frustrating cycle of behaviour that lowers our self-confidence and leave us feeling stuck. There are many reasons why someone may choose to self-sabotage but many stem from a lack of belief in ourselves”(lisajeffs.com).

What cultivates it?

There are many things that create self sabotaging habits. I will list a few down here.

  • Self-Congruence- This is when we want our outside world to fit into what we feel on the inside. If you have negative thoughts and feelings on the inside. You will most likely see more negative and focus more on the bad things in your life. This goes for the other side of things as well, but since sabotaging comes from a negative mindset. We will focus on that.
  • Glass ceiling-There is an imaginary ceiling that one believes they can not go over, or below it. They like to stay between the barriers. The person feels they don’t deserve more than their perceived ceiling can give them. They believe they only deserve this much, but not more.
  • Vulnerability avoidance-This is the fear of vulnerability or getting hurt. This is when you rather cut things before you have a chance to get hurt. This can go for relationship and career goals. You rather just avoid getting hurt, but in the process can lose something wonderful, due to your fear of the worse case scenario.
  • Imposter Phenomenon-When you do not believe your success or happiness is a true representation of yourself or what you can do. You don’t believe you can continue this success. Maybe you believe it is just luck. You think to yourself, that you don’t deserve this. You think things will eventually go down hill.
  • Lack of confidence/self worth- This is a really important reason. If you don’t believe in your worth. You will not be able to grow and move forward. You will not be able to reach the places you want to go in life.
  • Fear of failure-We don’t like to fail or make mistakes, so we do whatever we can to avoid doing that, not being aware that failure is a part of life.
  • Protect ego-We got our pride. We don’t want to do anything that can hurt it. By taking a leap and doing things outside our comfort zone. It may allow us to see that maybe we aren’t as perfect as we thought, or can’t do as much as we thought. Although we can easily talk down to ourselves. We also don’t want to be a failure.
  • Comfort-We love comfort, so we do what we can to avoid stepping away from it, even if it can make us more fulfilled, successful and happy.
  • Complaining-This type of behavior doesn’t really solve anything. It just keeps you stuck.
  • Comparisons to others-It is hard to get anywhere when you compare yourself to other people’s success. If you don’t match up. You give up. We should try to focus on our growth, rather than others, so we can continue pushing ourselves. You never know how far you can go, but comparisons can halt that.
  • Blaming others-Putting the blame on others takes control away from you. Taking control away from you gives you less power, and makes you less likely to push yourself forward.
  • Putting yourself down-Negative self-talk can definitely cultivate habits of sabotaging oneself. Believing you can’t do something, or don’t deserve something, or that you aren’t good enough. Will keep you stuck.
  • Self concept is fixed-Believing you can never change and that growth is impossible. The thing is you can always evolve. Who you are today can be different than who you are next year. The self is not fixed.

What can be done to overcome it?

  • Be mindful-Practicing mindfulness and learning to be present in the moment can help you become aware of your self sabotaging habits, and the thoughts the come along with it.
  • Self acceptance-Learning to accept the person you are-the good and the bad-can help reduce sabotaging habits. If you accept yourself, you can accept any possibility the comes your way. Whatever happens you know you did all you can do, and you are happy with just that. You learn with acceptance is all you can do is try, as long as you try you achieved something.
  • Gain confidence-This goes along with self-acceptance. Through acceptance you can gain confidence. Being aware of your strengths and using them to your advantage goes along way. Learning to build your strengths and utilizing them to help you grow is all part of confidence. This can push you to achieve the goals you like and to keep you from staying comfortable and stuck.
  • Journal/Self-reflect-This puts your thoughts out there. It gives you a chance to become aware of these habits and figure out ways to move past them. Once you are able to become aware of these thoughts and habits through introspection. You may realize how unhelpful they are to your self growth.
  • Get out of comfort zone/Face your fear-I know it is easier said than done, but comfort can only get to so far. Time to count backwards 5,4,3,2,1 and go! Everything that has helped me evolve, grow and move up has come from getting out of my comfort zone and facing fears. You will feel discomfort and anxiety, but those feelings are normal. Learning to push past it is an important skill to learn to stop us from sabotaging ourselves.
  • Understanding the root cause-Digging deep and learning the real reason for these habits can help you figure out the problem, learn, and improve.
  • Rise above negative emotions-Like I mentioned, feelings of anxiety, discomfort, fear, tension will arise. It is learning how to continue going forward that is important.
  • Set goals and plans-Start small, something manageable to help push you. Every little step counts. With every step you will gain more confidence and feel more comfortable.
  • Accept failures-You will not always succeed. You will make mistakes. It is all part of the human experience. When you accept this it will be easier for you not to sabotage any opportunity or chance you get.
  • Let go of perfectionism-You have flaws. We all have flaws. Accepting you are not perfect puts our ego in check. It also allows you to put yourself out there more.

Self sabotaging habits are harmful for our growth and personal development. It may create comfort and safety. But it also cultivates many negative thoughts and behaviors that keep us stuck. It is important to learn to become aware of these habits, so we can break away from them and live a more fulfilling life.

Source:https://lisajeffs.com/en-us/self-sabotaging-behavior-thoughts-what-causes-it-and-how-to-rise-above-it/#:~:text=What%20is%20self%20sabotage%3F,goal%20such%20as%20weight%20loss.

Enjoy Your Own Company

This is a very important lesson to learn in life. It is important we learn to enjoy and make use of our time with ourselves. I write this post, because I had plans with friends this weekend, but it didn’t work out, due to them being busy with other things. I could get annoyed, angry, be bitter, place blame on myself or them, create negative thoughts of myself or them, or have self-pity. This can all create a world of loneliness and depression.

I did feel a tinge of loneliness and felt a bit down, but that is normal. Having these feelings are normal and okay, but what you do with it is what matters. I rather use it to fuel my creativity. It allowed me to write this post. Difficulties, adversity, and negative feelings can be helpful for my creativity. I come to learn to actually appreciate them, because they help me learn more about myself and how much growth I have had.

The time alone gave me time to reflect, read the book I wanted to finish, and do other things that I enjoy doing on my own. People have their lives. They can’t always be there when you need them. I would have liked the company of friends this weekend, but it did not happen, and I am totally fine with that. I can hope to meet up with them in the future. No resentment. No anger. No self-pity. No negativity. Just acceptance. Focusing on making my time alone enjoyable and productive.

We must remember the world doesn’t revolve around us. They have their lives. You have yours. You also won’t always be there for others when they need you, so we should accept the other way around. You can only truly depend on yourself. If you learn to work on yourself, and learn more about yourself. You can learn to embrace and enjoy your own company. Having connections is important, but these connections won’t always be available, so enjoying time with you is essential for your happiness and well-being.

Dealing With Self-Doubt

“People will never rise above their own opinion of themselves.” I really like this quote. I believe it to be true. Your opinions of yourself can help lift you up and move you forward, or they can pull you down and keep you stuck. Self-doubt hinders our ability to grow, change, evolve and move forward. It keeps us stuck. This mindset is no good for our self-growth and development.

What is it

Self-doubt is a lack of confidence in one’s ability and decisions one makes. Now having a little self-doubt is healthy. It can help foster introspection and enhance performance. It is good to question oneself and challenge oneself. It keeps us humble. You aren’t always right, so self-doubt can help you from making mistakes, or doing something you shouldn’t do, but there are times when self-doubt can be crippling for you growth. Too much of it can hold you back.

“Self-doubt can be understood as a feeling of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self, such as confidence or likability. Some degree of self-doubt is generally held to be normal, because many people may question their ability to master new or challenging situations.”(Good Therapy). There is a healthy and unhealthy way to go about self-doubt. The unhealthy way that keeps us stuck is what we should try to learn to overcome.

What causes it

There are many factors that play into self-doubt. It isn’t a black or white issue. I will discuss some of them. There may even be more, that I won’t state. It is more complex, than most may think.

  • Fear-This is a big one when it come to self-doubt. We as humans do not like the unknown. It is scary. We like to know everything. It creates comfort, and we love comfort. We think the worst case scenario will happen. We fear failure.
  • Comfort-As I mention we love comfort. Getting out of our comfort zone is tough. We like things to go as smoothly as possible. We like ease. We like safety. Staying comfortable does that. But staying comfortable allows our self-doubt to continue to rise. If we never rise above our comfort. We never know what we can do. If you don’t know what you can do. Self-doubt will always follow you. You can’t do this, but you can’t do something, because you never done, or tried it. How would you know?, unless you try.
  • Guilt-Feeling like the decisions or actions you make can hurt others, even if it can benefit oneself. You as an individual may doubt what you want to do, due to hurting others.
  • Shame-Being embarrassed that your decisions and actions may not fit to the standards of others and society can create self-doubt.
  • Victim mindset-Seeing oneself as a victim gives the individual less control. The individual may believe they have no control over their life. This can create doubt in their ability to take control of their life. Mel Robbins(motivational speaker and author of the 5 Second Rule) made a statement that I really liked. “Even if you were victimized. It does’t always mean you will always be the victim.” You can always take control back.
  • Lack of confidence-Not believing your strengths can pull you up, and putting emphasis on your weaknesses. Putting focus on just the negative aspects of oneself. The individual believes they have more weaknesses, than strengths, or that their strengths aren’t good enough. This mindset can absolutely create doubt in one self. How can one believe in themselves if they can’t see their strengths?
  • Lack of trust-Not believing you can make the right decisions or actions can hold you back from moving forward. This goes along with confidence. Once you gain confidence. You can be able to trust the decisions you make.
  • Approval-Doing things for others and wanting their approval, and not focusing on your own approval can create doubt in oneself. You look to others to make decisions for oneself, but you don’t look to yourself to make decisions.
  • Perfectionism-The all or nothing mentality. Everything must be perfect and go as smoothly as possible, or it is a disaster. If any mishap, mistake, or a bit of failure comes along, doubt arises. As I mentioned, a bit of doubt is okay, but if it is used to not move forward, and if you let these things keep you down, than it can get to an unhealthy stage and keep you stuck. Perfection doesn’t exist. Use the mistakes and failures to learn, not doubt your abilities.
  • Past experiences-Your past can help cultivate doubt in oneself. How others treated you, what things were said to you, bad experiences etc,. Your past plays a huge role in who you are today.

How can one overcome it

  • Confidence-I mentioned how lack of confidence can create self-doubt, so obviously confidence in oneself can help reduce doubt in oneself. Confidence is an important skill to have. It starts with awareness and acceptance of oneself. Accepting ourselves is learning to accept our flaws, learning not to put energy into them. Appreciating our strengths and putting energy into growing and using them to our benefit. By focusing and appreciating our strengths, and putting them into action. One can learn to gain confidence. This may take time for people who lack it, but you can always build it up. Nothing is ever lost. You got to start somewhere.
  • Take action-You just got to do it. Make the decision. Take the action. The more you give yourself time to think. The less likely you will do something about it. Thinking about it for too long creates what ifs, it creates excuses. It creates doubt. Mel Robbins mentions the 5 second rule. Count backwards, not forwards, you can always keep counting. So 5,4,3,2,1 and go. Make the decision. Take the action. She mentions the idea sounds stupid, but it works. I am not sure how well the 5 second rule works, but I will say she has a point on taking action. There were plenty of times I thought about starting something, but my thoughts kept holding me back, until I just did it. Once I did it. I couldn’t believe it took me this long to just do it. You realize it isn’t as bad as your thoughts make it out to be.”Doubt creates mountains. Actions move them.”(Mel Robbins).
  • Overcome the emotions-One thing you should realize is fear, anxiety, guilt, shame will arise. There is nothing you as an individual can do about that. What you can do is take action despite those feelings. These are normal feelings to have. It is part of being a conscious being. If the decision or action helps benefit your growth. You got to learn to push through these feelings. They will eventually fade. In the short-term it may be easy to find comfort to ease these feelings right away, but in the long-term you will just allow these feelings to build and keep you stuck, because you aren’t overcoming these emotions that will never go away. Once you are able to keep moving, despite these emotions. You learn that you can overcome these emotions, and still move towards growth. Doubt in oneself will become weaker.
  • Journal/Talk to others/self-reflect-All these things can make you aware of your thoughts. It outs it out there to the world. Awareness is important. Once you are aware of your thoughts. You may realize that your doubt isn’t warranted. Maybe talking to someone else and their thoughts can help you realize that you shouldn’t doubt yourself. You may come to see that your doubt is ridiculous,or your overthinking too much, and that you are capable of handling what comes your way.

Mel Robbins mentions that self-doubt is a habit. We all know habits are hard to break, but they can be broken. You may doubt yourself now, but you can teach yourself to gain confidence, take action and reduce your doubt. Nothing is ever lost. It may take time, but you can eventually get there with practice. Always remember to keep moving forward, towards growth.

Positive Self-Talk

“Positive self talk isn’t about knowing all the answers or thinking you’re amazing, it’s simply about reframing how you view things, removing negative bias, and approaching life with the idea that you can tackle things – and even if it doesn’t go perfectly – you’ll learn from it for next time”(positivepsychology.com).

I was watching a video from this amazing vlogger Psychologist Julia Kristina Counselling (if you like motivational/self help videos, please look into her.). She mentioned something about positive self talk. I just wanted to post something about it, because I think it is very important what we say or think to ourselves. Having a more positive self-talk can allow us to be more compassionate, accepting, and appreciative of ourselves. It can allow you to learn and accept your flaws, rather than using it against yourself. It can allow you to be more confident, and more willing to take on challenges and accept failures. It can also allow you to push ourselves to success and to reach our goals.

In an article What is Positive Self-Talk? (Incl. Examples) by PositvePsychology.com. They mention some interesting things about negative and positive self talk that I like to put here for some perspective.

Negative Self-Talk

“Our patterns of self-talk are all too often negative – we focus on preconceived ideas that we’re ‘not good enough’ or ‘always a failure’ or ‘can’t do anything right’. Our brains are hardwired to remember negative experiences over positive ones, so we recall the times we didn’t quite get it right more than the times we do. We then replay these messages in our minds, fuelling negative feelings (Jantz, 2016).” Negative self-talk focuses on our flaws and weaknesses and doesn’t accept less than perfect results. Failures and mistakes are unacceptable. We beat ourselves down if it happens.

Positive Self-Talk

“Positive self-talk, as you may have guessed, is the flip of negative self-talk. It’s not about narcissism, or deceiving ourselves into thinking things that are inaccurate. It’s more about showing yourself some self-compassion and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through (Jantz, 2019).”

“Positive self-talk sees our internal narrative switching to ideas like ‘I can do better next time’ or ‘I choose to learn from my mistakes, not be held back by them’.” Positive self-talk allows you to focus on the good qualities and strengths of oneself and learning to accept and be kind to yourself if mistakes or failure happens. It lifts you up and allows you to stand up against challenges.

Reminder that our thoughts are not based on facts, they are perceived. We tend to become what we think. If we see ourselves in a positive light we can gain much from this. We can build from it. We can become better individuals. We can learn to take on whatever challenges come our way. If you see yourself in a negative way. You can self sabotage, remain stuck, and never move forward and grow. There is no learning from this state. It is much easier being negative towards oneself, but easier isn’t always better for us, and our well being and happiness. Taking steps to have more positive thoughts about oneself can allow you to be the person you want to be, allow you to reach your goals, find success, have more happy days, rather than sad ones, move forward much quicker, and have peace of mind. You can’t really argue against that right?

Positive Self-Talk - The Pathway 2 Success

Source:https://positivepsychology.com/positive-self-talk/#:~:text=Positive%20self%2Dtalk%20isn’t,from%20it%20for%20next%20time.

You Are Your Thoughts and Actions

What I mean by the title is you have control of your thoughts, mindset and actions. We tend to forget this or not be aware of it, but this is important to know for your well being and peace of mind. There are things out of our control, feelings, emotions, the environment, others, the world/universe. We shouldn’t focus our energy trying to change those things, or pushing them away. Focus on your thoughts and actions, what are they doing for you, are they helping you, can things be changed to benefit you. That should be your focus. Your thoughts and actions make you who you are. Just remember you are in control of that. I hope you all try to make the best of the week. Do what you can to bring joy, happiness and peace to your life.

My Little Joys

I have gotten obsessed with buying plants recently. I bought about 15 so far. I just wanted to brighten my room and environment with these little guys. Work has been exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming lately, so I wanted to bring some joy to my life to lift me up. It also helps keep me in the present moment having to watch over and take care of them, which is nice. Most are doing well, some need a little work, but I am enjoying the process of being a plant owner. It is really lovely having them around you. Whatever it takes to lift your spirits up, big or small. Do whatever it takes to bring joy, happiness and excitement to your life. We all must find ways to get through the storm at the moment. Have a lovely day. I hope your day, weeks and months get brighter.