Create Moments/engage with the world

I am making more of an intention to engage with the world, rather than passively scroll online, or watch Youtube/Netflix. I want to create experiences, and be creative by actively living in the moment. I like to do things that help me learn and grow.

I have recently been trying to learn more Spanish and Korean. I have been listening to more Podcast. I have made the intention to color more. I have been doing lots of writing for my blogs, and for my course. I have also started making videos. I just want to make more time being active.

I like to live more intentionally and mindfully. Life is about creating moments. Finding little joys along the way. The more I practice living intentionally. The easier the habits become. Engaging means being creative, productive, working on your craft, and connecting with yourself, others and the world around you. I try to build my day around things that spark joy, creativity, growth and value.

I will say recently I haven’t been as mindful as the past couple of weeks, and I have been watching more Youtube and Netflix, but that is totally okay. We need balance. We will not 100% be productive, creative, or mindful all the time. Allow yourself to be passive without guilt. But there should always be an intention to create moments in anyway that suits you. You will be at ease, happier, and find more peace, and rewarding moments if you do so.

Feel all emotions

Listening to Adele’s new album. I just love how open she is to being vulnerable, and expressing her low emotions with the world. It made me think, how important it is to feel all emotions, and embrace them all. We are humans. We will feel all sorts of emotions in this rollercoaster we call life. Just remember if you distance yourself from feeling the uncomfortable emotions. You will also numb the feelings of the comfortable and more enjoyable emotions. No emotion is bad, or should be suppressed. Emotions tell us something about ourselves, our thoughts, and our world view. We can choose to use it against us, or use it as fuel to better ourselves. You are not horrible for feeling difficult emotions. This is all part of being a human, unless you are a Psychopath, and not sure you want that. Embrace, accept, and learn.

digital minimalism(my thoughts)

I like listening and watching topics about Digital Minimalism. It allows me to be aware that the screen isn’t my life. It is a nice reminder. Experiencing the world, connecting with it is so much more important.

There is so much to offer out there. We may be afraid to miss out on the net, by being online we are missing out on much more by not truly living and experiencing life. It is important to live. Give yourself space to connect with you and reflect. Give yourself space to truly connect with others and the world.

I sometimes cling to the idea of connecting with others who don’t know me for validation, but that really isn’t important in the whole scheme of things. It doesn’t make me happy. It doesn’t aide my growth. Living life is important. Getting to know yourself is important. Giving yourself a voice to speak is important. By feeling your space with information. You give yourself no chance to think or speak.

Filling the space of boredom with scrolling and Youtube videos can used to better use for learning, creativity and growing. I go online for a sense of community(who else can I discuss Kpop with), but I need to use most of my time being present. I want to be more intentional with my use. My intention is being more active, rather than passively looking at a screen.

Now that I have been been more mindful of my time. I don’t really find the online world as entertaining. It can also be a bit overstimulation, because my brain is getting used to the slow and steady lifestyle. I tend to enjoy the mindful activities more, and it has gotten easier to do them, because I realize how enjoyable, rewarding and relaxing they can be, even if it takes a bit more work.

Some choose to do a whole cleanse, but I choose not to. I enjoy social media. I am just much more intentional with it, which makes my time there much more valuable. My life has been much more enjoyable, because I am doing more things that aide my growth, and cultivating valuable experiences.

treat yourself first

Self-love, respect and acceptance are important in life. When you value and respect yourself. Others will do the same. If you don’t, you will allow others to disrespect you. When you see yourself as unworthy. It becomes easier to make excuses for others treating you like crap, because you feel/think you are not worthy of their respect.

It is important to be comfortable being you true self around others. We shouldn’t tiptoe around everyone’s opinion of us. People will have their opinion’s regardless, and even if you try to please others. People may see you as a pushover, or a people pleaser. How people see you is out of your control. How you express yourself is in your control, so it is better to focus on working on yourself. It creates less stress and anxiety freeing yourself from the control of others opinions.

Yes, it is nice to be liked, but the freedom and peace you get from accepting people who don’t like you is rewarding in itself. Honestly if you are a person who values oneself, but treats others with value. It would be hard for anyone to dislike you. If a person doesn’t like you for being yourself, and standing up for yourself, than do you really need that person liking you?

A person not liking you is their problem, as long as you are not intentionally trying to hurt someone, but also in that case. It is still up to the individual in how they handle that situation. We can’t control a lot in life, but we should try to learn to control the little things we can.

You know your worth. You know there are others who appreciate, and love you for being you. There is a line between self-love and narcissism. Narcissism is solely trying to please yourself. Self-love is about putting yourself first, which allows you to spread that love towards others. Self-love is essential to living more peacefully, and for our mental well-being. Accepting who you are and knowing your worth. You learn to respect and love yourself and others, and by doing so, you get the same in return, because you wouldn’t be able to take someone else’s crap. You won’t allow anyone to disrespect your boundaries, and you learn to stay true to oneself, because you believe in yourself and your values. When you are true to yourself. You are able to connect with like-minded individuals, which allows you to build deeper connections.

There are plenty of times I said no, and didn’t go to parties I didn’t want to go. It isn’t being rude. I need my solitude, and prefer meeting up with one or two people. I also hate parties. You learn what you like, and go with that, and what you don’t, remove yourself from it. There may be times to make compromises, but it shouldn’t be an all time thing. Your needs should be met first, then that gives you the opportunity to meet the needs of others. Treating yourself is important for oneself, but also for others around you. Knowing yourself makes connections with others less stressful and confusing, because clear boundaries are set. Knowing who are, and your worth gives you the opportunity to learn more about others and their value.

Productivity

I spent 5 days at home, due to my feet bothering me. Most of my time was spent not doing much, but watching Youtube videos. Those days were quite dull and boring. My life just fell dull at that point.

Once I started working again. I realized being productive and facing challenges made my life more interesting. We fear challenges, but it gives life more meaning. Some sort of resistance creates growth, which is important to the meaning of life. Someone mentioned life is about purpose and growth, and I agree with that. Work gives me purpose, and allows me to grow, and learn as an individual. As well as my creative work, since I wasn’t doing any of those things. I felt a bit of emptiness.

Being productive and active gives me a spark. It cultivates excitement and joy. I face challenges at work, but the fact that I am productive allows me to keep moving forward. I lost my will to write, during those days, but once I got back to it. My will to write came back, which improved my level of fulfillment and joy. I was glad to get back out there, work, and connect with others. Being able to connect with others was also another factor to my happiness level.

Being productive is good for our mental health and happiness. Being passive can create comfort, and creates less resistance. It is easy to sit, and let information come to us, but it isn’t ideal for us in the long run. It will eventually create feeling of guilt, boredom, dullness, discomfort, or sadness. When we aren’t doing anything of value. We need growth and purpose to continue to move forward. That growth and productive stimulation is needed to spark our daily lives.

Minfulness Journal(sharing my thoughts)

I sit here trying to figure out what to write for my next post. I have ideas, but don’t know how to create a topic around them. I stepped away from the screen, because I needed space to think. I found it a waste of time watching Youtube videos and scrolling. I have lots of thoughts about things, but how do I put it together?

I had a mindful/mostly off screen Saturday. It was nice. I connected with a friend. I read. I colored. I took a short walk. Sunday morning I did my plant care. I went for a walk, but unfortunately couldn’t be there for long. I was mostly on Youtube the rest of the day. I felt a bit of guilt for not being more mindful. But why?

I shouldn’t force myself to be mindful. It should be when I want. Mindful activities should be enjoyable. Not a chore. I don’t always have to force myself to be productive and mindful. I like to be passive from time to time. In the passenger seat. It is nice to take it easy from time to time. To watch entertaining content.

I am happy I get to sit and get all this out in written format. I feel a sense of relief. Although it was in my mind. Writing it out feels much better for the soul. There is just something wonderful about writing your thoughts out, rather than having it all stuck in your mind. Seeing the words formulate in front of me cultivates relief and peace.

I create this post as a reminder if there is a lot going in your mind. To consider writing it down. It can be quite therapeutic. Also, that you don’t have to be mindful all the time. It shouldn’t be planned, but rather an activity to create peace of mind in this stressful, noisy and busy world we live in.

What is self-care?

I have seen a lot of videos on how self-care is toxic, or creates narcissism. I truly believe the self-care they are discussing isn’t self-care in the truest sense. The self-care they are discussing is searching for happiness, and trying to be as successful as one can be, and striving to reach goals no matter what. Putting value in yourself, not others. I wouldn’t call that self care. It is more self-indulgence. I can see why that behavior can be toxic, and create narcissism. I think it is important for people to know what self-care is, so they don’t confuse it with toxic behaviors that create more misery.

“Self-care is anything you do to take care of yourself so you can stay physically, mentally, and emotionally well. Its benefits are better physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. Research suggests self-care promotes positive health outcomes, such as fostering resilience, living longer, and becoming better equipped to manage stress.”(everydaymentalhralth.com).

Self-care is about making yourself a priority. It is about validation your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Although, you are a priority. It does not mean hurting others to benefit oneself, or putting others down to pull yourself up. You still make sacrifices and compromises, but you shouldn’t put others needs before oneself at all times. Your mental and physical health comes first. You can’t have that when you continuously sacrifice yourself for others.

Connections are important. Self-care isn’t about pushing others away, and just focusing on you. Solitude is important to center yourself to who you are, and to give you space to enjoy one’s company. We are social creatures that feed on connections from others. Connecting with others is a part of self-care, along with solitude. Treat yourself right, and you can treat others just as well.

Self-care isn’t about buying the most expensive thing to treat yourself. If it adds value, and brings joy that sure, do it, but it isn’t essential. It isn’t about reaching your goals, and striving for success. Yes, you can do these things, but it isn’t the only thing to focus on. It is about appreciating what you have, and enjoying the journey to get to where you want.

Self-care is about creating hobbies that spark joy and peace in your life. It is about cultivating habits that promote a healthier individual physically, emotionally and mentally. Self-care is about accepting who you are, your strengths and flaws. It isn’t about searching for perfection, but learning to appreciate your strengths, and to work on improving your weaknesses. Accepting comes into play when flaws can’t easily be improved.

People sometimes lose the meaning of self-care for their own self indulgence. Self-care is about finding ways to bring peace into your life. It is about working on yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. A holistic approach to become a better individual, and to live life as fully as one can. Learning to connect with yourself and others is the true nature of self-care.

Solitude Mood

Connections are important, but at the moment. I just don’t have the space or energy to connect in person with others. I just want to do my own thing at the moment. There is nothing wrong with wanting alone time.

My family is having a gathering, but I just am not in the mood to be a part of it. I prefer to spend my time doing my own thing. Doing the things I enjoy. I want to read, color, write, hear my own thoughts, relax. There is much freedom with alone time. We don’t always need to fill our space with another person.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home, and do your own thing, or just wanting to go out on your own. You get to do things on your own terms and timetable. I do love connecting with friends and family, but this is not the time for me. As an introvert, I need space to recharge. Connecting take energy, and I don’t have any for it. Others may not understand this need for space, but they don’t need to. This is about my happiness and peace. Always remember to make time for yourself when needed. and if you can.

Comparisons/Jealousy

This tends to hit us when we focus on just the positives of others lives, and focus on the things they have that we are missing. We want that part of their lives we don’t have. We see the grass greener on their side. But is it really?

We forget that others have their drawbacks as well. Everything in life has its pros and cons. All of us as individuals are blessed with things others don’t have. If you dig deeper. You realize you have something they don’t have. You recognize that their life isn’t all that great as a whole. It is just that aspect of comparison/jealousy that seems better. Things in life isn’t all great or all bad. There are good and bad aspects.

Reflect and appreciate what you do have. Learn from the things you don’t have, and if you really want it, work for it, don’t dwell, and make a change. Your life has just as much value as any other individual. You just got to believe it, and take action. We all have value. We all have positive aspects to our lives. We also all have downfalls and drawbacks. Rather than just focusing on yours and making comparisons. Remember that other people’s lives isn’t as perfect as you think, and that they have drawbacks and insecurities as well. Remind yourself that you have things to be proud of, and appreciative of as well.

Mindfulness and Judging

With mindfulness practice we should try to limit judgment of ourselves, others, and the world around us. I have gotten better at not judging myself, and the world, but it still has been difficult not judging others. I recognize that judgment of others is more a reflection of myself, than others.

With mindfulness I have been able to become aware of when I judge others. It starts with awareness. After that, I reflect on why I am making this judgment. It is to compare?, to compete?, to feel superior?, or is it that they don’t fit my standard? It could be all of these things. Remember that the person you are judging has no clue you are doing it, so how productive can it be?

Judging others puts a negative stain on the person judging. It fuels hatred, jealousy, bitterness, and anger. Why do I need to create these emotions when I don’t have to. We can’t stop ourselves from judging. It is an innate human quality, but we can control how much and how long it consumes our lives. Become aware, reflect, learn and move forward. No use in dwelling over something you can’t change, and if you can, say something and take action in a positive and productive way.