The ego in the mind is a negative force of the mind. It likes control, to be right, to be perfect, to be loved, to be desired. This can lead you on a negative path. Here are some ways the ego can take control, and ways to be more mindful.
1.Saying ‘Yes,’ instead of ‘No.’-We like to please others. Our ego wants us to be loved by everyone, but saying yes all the time isn’t the best way to go. We don’t want to be a people-pleaser or push over. Sometimes it is okay to say ‘no’ for your well being and happiness. It is okay to do things for yourself. Always saying yes when you don’t want to can lead to anxiety, anger, and sadness. Living for other people just to be liked by others isn’t beneficial to your well being.
2.Constantly Checking Your Phone and Social Media-Ego definitely is associated with our need for likes, attention, and approval on Social Media. When self worth is equated to how much attention one gets on social media, or that need to show how good we look in front of others, so we feel short-term satisfaction. That need and drive cultivates a negative lifestyle and mindset. These things can distract you from being in the present moment. It takes the focus off truly focusing on oneself.
3.Judging or criticizing others-Anything that makes one feel superior in a sense is never good. Doing these actions gives off the impression that one is superior to the other, and no one is. We are all individuals, and have our own stories. What one person may do, another person may not. The ego wants us to feel superior, and that our actions are above others, but no one is perfect, so these actions are not helpful to a mindful path.
4.Constant worrying-When the mind is in the past, or in the future. The overwhelming thoughts takes us out of the present moment. The mind can not be calm when this happens. It is always good to recognize when this happens, so you can bring yourself back into the present moment.
5.Trying to control someone else-We can not change how others think or behave. Telling someone what they should do is the ego trying to control others. No one has a right to tell others what to do with their lives, unless it affects that individual personally. You can guide, and advise others, but allowing others to make their own decisions is important. We are all our own individuals. Let them be their own individual.
6.Having negative thoughts about yourself-It is easy to overlook our own negative self-talk. We see our faults more prevalent than others. This negative self-talk just leads to misery, and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think badly of yourself. You are less likely to be confident enough to do what you need to do to help you overcome your doubts. If you are not able to do what you need to do. It can cultivate a negative self concept. One should learn to be aware of the negative thoughts, and push those thoughts away when they appear.
7.Being a perfectionist- We want ourselves, and our lives to be perfect, but the problem is that will never happen, so that ideology will set you up for failure. Striving for perfection will lead you on a road to misery, and depression. The best option is to accept that life is not perfect. Learn that flaws and weaknesses exist, and that learning to grow, and strive to be the best you can be is all you can do, and that is okay. Remind yourself that the perfect life does not exist. That perception is all in the mind, or a creation by societal standards. Accepting imperfection can lead you to happiness, and peace of mind.
It is easy to fall into these traps. Learning to stop the ego from consuming the mind takes a mindful person, and mental strength. I will say, it is difficult not to fall into these traps, but awareness of these traps is a start. After that, it is about practicing mindfulness to rid the ego from taking over.
Psychology of Mindfulness 