Acceptance of Impertinence

We as human have difficulty dealing with impertinence, but not being able to cope with it can create discomfort in our lives. We must learn that everything ends, and nothing stays the same. Accepting impertinence is the ability to accept change, and loss in our lives.

The human need to find permanence is an opportunity for suffering to arise. Humans fight change and loss. We do whatever we can to avoid it to protect ourselves, and keep us in a safe bubble. Doing this is quite paradoxical, because even though you may think you are protecting yourself. You are hurting yourself more, and creating more suffering by avoiding the inevitable.

Change and loss are reality. There is no avoiding it, but a mindfulness mindset can help you cope with it. The best thing you can do is accept it. Many people see it as having a negative mindset, but avoiding the reality creates a negative mindset. Accepting reality creates a positive mindset, because when the inevitable happens. You will be able to handle it better, and bounce back quicker. You may even be able to see the bright side in the situation.

This is all part of being mindful. Acceptance of difficult situations is key to our peace of mind and happiness. Permanence is not reality. Once you are aware, understand, and accept it. Peace of mind will follow.

Morning Mindfulness Tips to Start Your Day Right

Mindfulness activities to brighten up your day

  • Meditation
  • Being Mindful of your morning routine-Immerse yourself in all the activities one does in the morning
  • Sit still and relax-try not to worry about all the things that need to be done, it will get done eventually, just take a step back, and calm the mind
  • Light some incense
  • Think positive thoughts before you walk out the door
  • Look at inspirational, positive quotes to start your day
  • Yoga
  • Journal writing

-Write down whatever comes to mind after a good night sleep

-Write down things you appreciate

-Write down positive things about yourself, your life, and your job

-Write down your goals for the day, or even the future

  • Take a walk outside, or take a couple of minutes to enjoy the view from your window
  • Read, or do an activity that may stimulate the mind
  • Look at inspirational, positive quotes to brighten your day

 

Try your best not to rush out the door in the morning. How you start your morning will reflect the rest of your day. If you are rushing. You may want to get up a bit earlier, so you have time to do these activities, and relax the mind before heading out to the stressful and busy world. It is important to start your day right.

Helpful Tips When Dealing With Anxiety or Depression

 

  • Sit with the emotions.
  • Do not fight, or push them away:

-It permeates negativity, negative self-talk.

  • Ruminate over the thoughts and emotions one is feeling during your episode.
  • Gain knowledge of the triggers, and the causes of your anxiety/depression.
  • Accept the feelings for what it is:

-it sucks, but part of life, and who you are.

-Try not to ask why questions-why me? Why can’t this go away?

-It solves nothing, and promotes negativity.

-Your life does not suck, because of this disorder.

-You are not awful, because of this disorder.

  • Remember that the emotions/feelings will fade.
  • Emotions come in waves/they are not stagnant.
  • There will be sunshine again.
  • And it will pour again, but that is okay.
  • Accept that anxiety and depression are part of who you are.
  • Accept that it will never go away.
  • Accept that anxiety/depression episodes are out of your control.
  • But remember, You can gain power back by accepting it in your life, and learning how to cope with the symptoms better.
  • Knowledge is power-learn triggers, causes, and how you can handle episodes better.
  • Self-Awareness is power-Focus the energy on oneself. Do not put blame outward. You can’t control outside forces, but you can control your thoughts, and how you handle things from within.
  • And always remember that it is okay to have anxiety or depression.

-You are not wrong.

-You are not awful.

-You are not weird.

  • Acceptance is vital-Acceptance of oneself, of reality, of your disorder cultivates inner peace, happiness, and relief.   

 

 

Self-Reflection

This topic is going off my last post “Put Emphasis on You.” Self-Reflection definitely helps put the focus on you. I believe it is important to do this activity I say once a day, but I know it can be hard in this busy world, so at least try once a week.

So what is it? Self-Reflection is examining your own thoughts, feelings, goals, motives, values, and actions. It is about learning who you are, and what life means to you. I think it important to know these things about yourself.

So why is it important? It can cultivate a positive mindset. It can lessen anxiety, depression, and any other negative emotion. It can help you be less critical of yourself. It can also help you achieve your goals, and help strengthen your career. Being able to reflect on yourself, you can learn your strengths and weaknesses, your triggers, what truly makes you happy, what you really want out of life. Knowing your strengths can help you utilize those strengths to help achieve the things you want in life. It can also help you see yourself in a more positive way. Knowing your weaknesses can also be helpful. It can teach you to learn from them and improve, which can help you grow personally and mentally. Being able to overcome your weaknesses can build character and improve your self-esteem.

You can also learn that some weaknesses can not be improved upon, but you can learn to accept them, because we are human, and we come with strengths and weaknesses. We should learn to accept them both. Self-Reflection is about having a better sense of yourself, learning to perceive yourself in a better way. I don’t think we take enough time to sit down, and learn about ourselves. I know it is hard in this busy world, but it is worth it for inner peace and happiness.

Making time to reflect on who you are can help you mentally, personally, physically, and spiritually, and isn’t that worth it? Life is stressful right? Life can be depressing sometimes right? If you are able to sit down and reflect. You can be able to pinpoint exactly what is stressful and depressing, ruminate over it, and learn from it, you may be able to accept things, and come to peace with it, or you may find a way to make things less stressful or depressing. Introspection is an important tool in life. It is a tool that can help you become happier and calmer in life.

One thing you can do is use a journal. This can help you reflect on your day and life, and you can see how much you grown, and what you learned. It is always interesting to look back on things, and see how different your mindset is, or how you thought something was bad at the time, but now you are fine. You can also do a self-reflection board, putting your goals, dreams, strengths, weaknesses, things you love, dislike. You can get a visual of who you are. In self-reflection it is important to asks yourself questions. I found some questions online, and I made my own questions to post here to guide you on the self-reflection journey. Good luck! I hope this is helpful.

  • Am I using my time wisely?
  • Am I taking anything for granted?
  • Am I employing a healthy perspective?
  • Am I living true to myself?
  • Am I waking up in the morning ready to take on the day?
  • Am I thinking negative thoughts before I fall asleep?
  • Am I putting enough effort into my relationships?
  • Am I taking care of myself physically?
  • Am I letting matters that are out of control stress me out?
  • Am I achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself?

Found these questions on https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/introspection-self-reflection/

 

  • What positive thing happened today?
  • What did you learn today?
  • What obstacle did you have today? How did you cope with it?
  • What did you learn about yourself today?
  • Are you in a place of peace and calm today?
  • Were you stressed today? Why? Would it still bother you a week or month for now?
  • Did I have negative thoughts today? What was it? Is there a way to see it in a more positive way? Is there anything you can learn from it?
  • Is there something I can work on about myself?
  • Say one positive thing about yourself?

These are my own personal self-reflection questions.

 

Put Emphasis on You

I just wanted to post about how important it is to focus on yourself. Please try to take time for yourself. If it is meditating, doing yoga, writing, drawing, going for a walk, taking a soothing bath, reading or watching inspirational books or videos, learning something new, practicing mindfulness. I don’t think we spend enough time on ourselves, reflecting on ourselves.

I think writing in a journal self-reflecting can be very therapeutic. It helps us learn more about ourselves. Learning about ourselves can help our mental and spiritual growth. It can also benefit us physically. It is important not to get caught up in society, or social media. That puts too much emphasis on others. It is okay to pay attention to others, but your attention should mainly be on yourself and your growth and development, whatever it is that can get you there, do it. This can be the gateway to inner peace, calm, and happiness.

Putting too much focus on others drives us away from ourselves, which can lead to unhappiness and misery. In this society it is quite easy to stray from ourselves, but you should try your best to center yourself back to you. It is integral for your well-being.

How Much Does Stress/Anxiety Affect You

Anxiety and stress are ubiquitous. There is no escaping it, but there are ways you can learn how to cope with it better. I would like to ask some questions that I found in my mindfulness handbook. It is a very useful book if you would like to practice mindfulness, and reduce anxiety/stress in your life. If you are interested in the book it is called A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook by Bob Stahl and Elisha Goldstein.

These questions pertain to stress/anxiety in your life. It is a way to reflect on how stress affects your life.

  1. How is stress or anxiety about people affecting your life?
  2. How is stress or anxiety about work affecting your life?
  3. How is stress or anxiety about the world affecting your life?
  4. How is stress or anxiety about food and eating habits affecting your life?
  5. How is stress or anxiety about sleep and sleeplessness affecting your life?
  6. How is stress or anxiety about exercising or lack of physical activity affecting your life?

Answering these questions will not fix all your struggles with stress, but being aware of how much stress and anxiety affect your life can do wonders. You would be able to see how much impact stress/anxiety have on you, and how things may need to change to reduce the stress in your life. There are many steps you can take to improve your life and reduce stress/anxiety. It doesn’t happen quickly, but mindfulness practices can help guide you into a life of peace and calm. You got to start somewhere.

8 Ways to Spiral Into Negativity

Negativity can always find its way into our lives. An article by Kristen Lee Ed. D., LICSW in Psychology Today discuss 8 ways of thinking that can put us on a path to negativity. They are called “downward spiral thinking types.” It is important that we find ways to avoid these type of thought processes, so negative thoughts don’t control our lives and happiness. I will list the 8 types below.

  1. The Preemptive 911 caller- “Something happens, and you see it as a total emergency. When your amygdala is in full force, it’s likely you are only able to see red and hear alarm bells going off. You spin into a place where you see reality as being nothing but a full-on crisis. Panic sets in, and everything gets blown way out of proportion(Lee, Ed.D., 2018).” Over-blowing the severity of the situation tends to happen. We see things much worse than it really is. It is important to step back, and see the reality of the situation.
  2.  The saboteur- “Difficulty strikes, and you automatically engage in self-sabotage, taking everything personally and blaming yourself for the occurrence of events, even those over which you have no control. Your thoughts interfere with reasoning, and instead you beat yourself up incessantly, diminishing your sense of value and worth(Lee, 2018).” We are our worse enemy. Try not to put too much blame on your shoulders. Blaming-yourself, or anyone- doesn’t solve anything. This will just spiral you into a state of depression, and you don’t want that! You should lift yourself up, so it can be easier to solve the problem in your life.
  3.  The zero-shades-of-gray thinker- “When looking at a situation, you only see extremes or absolutes. You define things in black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms. Your view is that something is either this way or that, and it’s hard to see the possibility that it could also be a both/and situation(Lee,2018).” Life isn’t black and white. It is a world of grey. Always look at all point of views, and perspectives.
  4. The labeler- “You look at behavior and label it in negative terms. Even though it’s hard to deal with, you believe it is a universal defining trait versus a behavior or situation that needs modification. This trap can lead to self-labeling, as well as judging other people(Lee, 2018).” There are many layers to humans. We shouldn’t judge someone based on one situation. There are many reasons why a person does what they do, but it is easier for us to make snap judgments, which can lead to negative thoughts.
  5. The tunnel visioner- “When evaluating what’s at hand, you only zoom in on the negative details, ignoring anything that is positive and worth appreciating. When something goes wrong, you have trouble identifying the things that have also gone right. Downward-spiraling tunnel vision focuses on deficits and injuries rather than lessons and strengths(Lee, 2018).” It is much easier to focus on the negative, than the positive. I struggle with that myself. It is hard, but we need to find ways to see the positive for our own well-being and happiness.
  6.  The broad brusher- “You paint a very broad picture, make loose connections between past or present instances, and create sweeping over-generalizations to describe what’s at hand. You use phrases like “I never,” “This always,” and “Everyone” to make big assertions of what you see happening(Lee, 2018).” Generalizing is never a good idea. When you say things like ‘I never,’ or ‘ This always.’ I am pretty sure that isn’t accurate. I am sure it never, or always happens. We just overlook the times it worked.
  7. The superhero- “Your cape is always on, working hard to never let anyone down. You pride yourself on doing all and being all, at all costs. You “should” and “must” yourself to the nth degree, but when something goes wrong, you come crashing down, and your self-esteem goes plummeting. When you can’t save the world, you experience extreme disappointment(Lee, 2018).” Perfection is the goal, but an inaccurate way of thinking of oneself. You are not perfect. No one is perfect. Accept your flaws and weaknesses. Accepting you’re not perfect will improve your self-esteem, self-worth, and happiness.
  8. The imposter- “Because you constantly engage in social comparison, you magnify the positives you see in everyone else, but downplay your own strengths and talents. You think you’re going to be found out, and that you really don’t belong at the level where you find yourself. You worry that people will soon see through your façade and come to their senses on the trust they’ve placed in you(Lee, 2018).” We all compare ourselves to others, but doing this leads to negative thoughts about ourselves. We forget to realize that the people we compare ourselves to also have their own struggles and problems. No one has the perfect life. It may seem that way, but it is a facade. The important thing is to focus on the positive things in your life, not in others. We all have positive things in our lives. You just have to try not to overlook them.

We all have done things on the list. It is hard to escape these thoughts. There are many ways to spiral into negativity. It is important that we find ways to avoid these downward spiral thinking types, so that we can live a happy and fulfilling life. Positive thinking is key.

Lee Ed, D., K. (2018, Mar 10). The Amazing Power of The Upward Spiral. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rethink-your-way-the-good-life/201803/the-amazing-power-the-upward-spiral

The Moment is Now

Did you know that 46% of the time our mind wanders? That means almost half of our lives we are not living in the moment. It is very important for our happiness and well-being to learn to live in the moment. If your mind is focused on the past, or the future. One would most likely not be happy. That usually brings sadness, or stress. This is why staying in the present moment is important. Memories and experiences are all built-in the present. You can’t live in the past, or future. The present moment is the only time you can do what you want to do, experience what you want to experience, live how you want to live. Unfortunately, we struggle to live in the present moment. Our minds tend to wander somewhere else in the present time, even if we are doing something enjoyable. Although, living in the moment can be hard. Being aware that being mindful can be helpful. The mind will always wander, but having better awareness of centering yourself back to the present moment can make your life more enjoyable, and less stressful. Just remember nothing can get done in the past, or future. The present moment is the time to live.sai-baba-leader-quote-what-matters-is-to-live-in-the-present-live-now.jpg

Happiness Post

We all have different viewpoints on what happiness is. What do you think defines happiness? I like you to think about it.

I think having a positive mindset, being mindful, living a meaningful life, and self-love/acceptance are key components to happiness. I also believe overall satisfaction in one’s life is key. Happiness is important, so trying to figure out what can cultivate happiness can do wonders for your well-being.

real-vs-virtual-happiness-2-638

Five Ways to Recover

Mental Health Recovery is known as “a journey of healing and transformation enabling a person with a mental health problem to live a meaningful life in a community of his or her choice while striving to achieve his or her full potential”(PsychologyToday). In the article Five Common Factors That Foster Recovery From Mental Illness by Psychology Today. They discuss the five ways one can recover from mental illness. Recovery is never easy, and it is a struggle, but these five ways are helpful ways to improve your mental health.

  1. Clinical Recovery-This refers to recovery in a clinical setting. It usually includes talking to a therapist, taking medication, and behavioral interventions. It is important not to just take medication, but to talk to a therapist as well, since medication only alleviates the symptoms. It does not solve the underlying cause of the symptoms. A therapist can help with the real problem.
  2. Existential Recovery-This recovery is to help fill the existential void one has. This usually refers to individuals whom have lost hope, meaning, and purpose in their lives. In most cases it is individuals with depression. Some ways to fill the existential void towards recovery are religion, spirituality, and finding new meaning and purpose in life. This includes volunteering, taking on a meaningful job, or having meaningful relationships. This recovery includes doing something meaningful and fulfilling for oneself.
  3. Functional Recovery-This recovery has to do with being able to function within a society. Many people with mental illnesses are homeless, and unemployed. It is important for recovery to be able to maintain a job, get a house, and maybe even further education.
  4. Physical Recovery-This recovery involves physical health. People with mental illness have higher rates of physical health issues. This includes poor diet, lack of exercise, and use of substances such as, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes etc,. This recovery can help one adopt a healthier lifestyle by exercising, eating healthier, and reducing, or stopping the use of unhealthy substances. Exercise can be therapeutic in itself, and getting healthy is important, but I am not sure this is a good recovery plan. Bad health is more of a result from mental illness. Unless they improve mentally; I am not sure one can improve their health. One may have to look at other recovery plans before going to this one.
  5. Social Recovery- This recovery plan involves reconnecting in the social world. Having a mental illness can isolate oneself from your social circle. This plan reconnects you with friends and family, and maybe helps connect you with new friends. Being around others, and getting support from others is very important for one’s recovery. This can also include joining a support group. Just having someone there to listen, and make you laugh is therapeutic.

 

As I always mention, we all are different, and different recoveries will work for different individuals. It is about what is right for you, or maybe more than one can help you, or all. I think these five ways are all great ways to help one recover. It may be challenging, but the end result will be worth it. Your mental health is very important to living a fulfilling and satisfying life.

Source:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men/201805/five-common-factors-foster-recovery-mental-illness