Feeling Lazy/pushing myself to get things done

I tend to feel lethargic and lazy on Saturdays. I don’t have energy to do much, but there were a couple of things I want to get done. I am the type of person who likes to get things done first to get it out of the way.

We can’t always wait for motivation to hit to get things done. You got to push yourself to do. Although, I was tired. I was able to get all the things I wanted to get done. I did not go online, which can be a huge distraction. It gave me the space to get what I needed to get done.

When you don’t have the distraction. You are more willing to get things done, because what else can you do? I cleaned, watered my succulents, did some yoga, washed my clothes, made my shopping list, and prepared my meal for the weekend.

I was happy to get what I wanted accomplished. It took some self-control, distraction free living, and action. It isn’t motivation, but your willingness to bring to action what you need to get done. You got to be willing to do the work.

You realize afterwards how rewarding and enjoyable the activities can be once you are in the zone. So, even if you are not in the mood, do it!, you will be happier if you do so, rather then be immersed will guilt and sadness for not doing so. Try not to focus on the short-term comfort, but rather the long-term rewards from getting the work done.

treat yourself first

Self-love, respect and acceptance are important in life. When you value and respect yourself. Others will do the same. If you don’t, you will allow others to disrespect you. When you see yourself as unworthy. It becomes easier to make excuses for others treating you like crap, because you feel/think you are not worthy of their respect.

It is important to be comfortable being you true self around others. We shouldn’t tiptoe around everyone’s opinion of us. People will have their opinion’s regardless, and even if you try to please others. People may see you as a pushover, or a people pleaser. How people see you is out of your control. How you express yourself is in your control, so it is better to focus on working on yourself. It creates less stress and anxiety freeing yourself from the control of others opinions.

Yes, it is nice to be liked, but the freedom and peace you get from accepting people who don’t like you is rewarding in itself. Honestly if you are a person who values oneself, but treats others with value. It would be hard for anyone to dislike you. If a person doesn’t like you for being yourself, and standing up for yourself, than do you really need that person liking you?

A person not liking you is their problem, as long as you are not intentionally trying to hurt someone, but also in that case. It is still up to the individual in how they handle that situation. We can’t control a lot in life, but we should try to learn to control the little things we can.

You know your worth. You know there are others who appreciate, and love you for being you. There is a line between self-love and narcissism. Narcissism is solely trying to please yourself. Self-love is about putting yourself first, which allows you to spread that love towards others. Self-love is essential to living more peacefully, and for our mental well-being. Accepting who you are and knowing your worth. You learn to respect and love yourself and others, and by doing so, you get the same in return, because you wouldn’t be able to take someone else’s crap. You won’t allow anyone to disrespect your boundaries, and you learn to stay true to oneself, because you believe in yourself and your values. When you are true to yourself. You are able to connect with like-minded individuals, which allows you to build deeper connections.

There are plenty of times I said no, and didn’t go to parties I didn’t want to go. It isn’t being rude. I need my solitude, and prefer meeting up with one or two people. I also hate parties. You learn what you like, and go with that, and what you don’t, remove yourself from it. There may be times to make compromises, but it shouldn’t be an all time thing. Your needs should be met first, then that gives you the opportunity to meet the needs of others. Treating yourself is important for oneself, but also for others around you. Knowing yourself makes connections with others less stressful and confusing, because clear boundaries are set. Knowing who are, and your worth gives you the opportunity to learn more about others and their value.

Mindfulness and Judging

With mindfulness practice we should try to limit judgment of ourselves, others, and the world around us. I have gotten better at not judging myself, and the world, but it still has been difficult not judging others. I recognize that judgment of others is more a reflection of myself, than others.

With mindfulness I have been able to become aware of when I judge others. It starts with awareness. After that, I reflect on why I am making this judgment. It is to compare?, to compete?, to feel superior?, or is it that they don’t fit my standard? It could be all of these things. Remember that the person you are judging has no clue you are doing it, so how productive can it be?

Judging others puts a negative stain on the person judging. It fuels hatred, jealousy, bitterness, and anger. Why do I need to create these emotions when I don’t have to. We can’t stop ourselves from judging. It is an innate human quality, but we can control how much and how long it consumes our lives. Become aware, reflect, learn and move forward. No use in dwelling over something you can’t change, and if you can, say something and take action in a positive and productive way.

The Art of Complaining

Complaining is that act of expression of annoyance or dissatisfaction in something.  I like to write this post for my readers, so you don’t fall into the trap of complaining, whether it be receiving, or giving. Expressing our feelings of annoyance and dissatisfaction can be good for us. The problem lies is when it is consistent, constant, and negative. This is how complaining can be a problem for yourself and others.

Being a complainer, and being on the other end of a complainer cultivates negativity. Avoiding negativity is something we should try to do. Complaining can be burdensome, so it best to avoid this problem child at all cost.

There is a difference between complaining, and sharing your concerns. There is nothing wrong with sharing your concerns. Talking about what is bothering you can be helpful and therapeutic. This is about sharing your thoughts with someone, having someone listen,  showing compassion and empathy, and maybe them sharing their thoughts on the situation. The person may take things said into consideration, and come to a conclusion, or solution on their own. This is a healthy talk.

Now when someone talks about things in a negative light, only focusing on the negative of the situation, refuses to listen to others thoughts, refuses to find solutions or take action, and continues to talk about the same problem over and over again with absolutely no solution is when it becomes unhealthy, burdensome, and honestly rather annoying.

This behavior is toxic, negative, and pretty selfish on the individual’s part, if I say so. We must remember that the world doesn’t evolve around you, me, or anyone. Your problems are your problems, no one else’s. The individual is the only one who can fix the problem of the individual. Spreading your negativity to others just puts the complainer in a bad light among others.

A complainer should remember that we all have problems, and we don’t need more problems pushed on us. What if an individual is dealing with things, and wants to step away from their own problems, and wants to be positive, or be around positive energy?, but a complainer decides to push their negative behavior on to them, talking about all their problems, and creating negative energy. This then, pushes them back down to negativity.

This is something to think about when complaining. Everyone has their battles. No one is special in this aspect. Being compassionate, and understanding that others are struggling, and may not want your problems, and negativity is an important skill to have. It is also best as the receiver to stay away from a person with this bad habit. We must learn to keep negative energy away from ourselves.

We must learn as individuals that nothing beneficial comes from complaining. It creates negativity. It pushes people away from you, because really, who wants that type of negativity in their lives? It is also annoying and burdensome to deal with. It solves nothing, because the individual isn’t trying to find a solution. They just want others pity and sympathy, but the opposite tends to happen. The thing we must learn is to express our problems in a more constructive way, and the realization that the individual problems can only be fixed by the individual.

If you have a problem, talk to others, hear their thoughts, be realistic, and don’t make excuses. Look to figure out how to deal with the problem. If you do these things it will stop you from a consistent pattern of complaining about the same thing.

You are in control of how things work out in your life. We must try to make a positive impact on ourselves and others, not cultivate negative energy. We must build others up, support them. Avoiding complaining is one way to do so.

Image result for complaining quotes

Start Your Day With A Blank Slate

I always think how you start your day is important. Now what do I mean by this title? It means having no expectations for the day, good, or bad. You think, how can I have no expectations? It can be difficult, but awareness of expectations can be helpful.

Expectations can lead to negativity. Whether you are expecting it to be a bad day, or a good day. Now expecting it to be a bad day is an obvious one. Thinking it will be a bad day will have your mind set on negativity. Your mind will seek out negativity. Anything that goes wrong will amplify, because your thoughts are negative. If you think it will be a bad day, than you will see the world in a negative light. It is the laws of attraction. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

Now expecting a good day may seem like a good idea, but that can also lead to negativity. So why is that? If you are expecting a good day, and a problem, or mishap occurs. It can be really upsetting, and completely ruin your day. It can put you in a state of negativity, because you were expecting a smooth, challenge free day, but what you have seen from my blog posts, life doesn’t happen that way. Life is unexpected.

This is why expectations can be problematic. You can hope for a good day. You can hope for things to go smooth. You can be aware that today may go either way, but you will get through it no matter what. Start your day clear of expectations, and go with the flow can be the most peaceful way to get through your day.

Meditation Practices

Meditation practices help keep the mind calm. It helps keep us at peace. Many people think it is about avoiding thoughts, but it is more about embracing them, and not allowing the thoughts to consume you. Meditation helps the thoughts flow, instead of linger.

There are many different practices you can try. It is always great to have a handful of different ones you can try, since some work better than others depending on the situation. We are all different, so some may suit you more than others.

I will list some that may be helpful to try, the first couple I found online, or in books. The last two I created myself, along my journey of practicing. I have tried all these practices of course, and they all have been helpful one way, or the other.

  • Transcendental Meditation-This is a practice where you come to a state of no thoughts. You transcends your thoughts. It is the art of no thinking. If you do have thoughts, become aware, and allow the thoughts to flow out of you. Now people ask, how can you have no thoughts and just be? It is possible if you are persistent, and keep pushing through your thoughts. Eventually the thoughts will calm down, and fade. You will just be. It is quite peaceful when you are at that state, but pretty difficult to get there if you are a beginner, or don’t practice much. It can happen, but takes patience.
  • Waking Meditation-I say this one is one of the easiest. This one you don’t have to sit still. This practice is more active. This includes, Mindful eating, mindful brushing, mindful walking, mindful showering etc… This is about being mindful of the things you do through out the day. Things you normally don’t pay attention. You give more attention to. It is about focusing on the moment. Focusing on the feelings, sensations, reactions you have to doing that particular activity. You become aware of the things you never noticed while eating, brushing, cleaning, showering or walking. It brings a whole new experience to a normally mundane activity.
  • Mindfulness Meditation-Quite similar to the first one, but not as intense. You start by sitting. Focus on breaths. Breath in and out. The idea is to keep focusing on your breaths. If thoughts pop up. Focus your attention back on your breaths. This keeps you in the moment, and calms the mind. You can also focus on your senses around you(the sounds, the smells, the sensations of sitting, or on the body). I usually visualize myself on a beach, or in nature, while doing this as well. The point is to keep your mind in the present, and not have all your thoughts overwhelm you.
  • Visualization-I have spoken about this one in another post. This practice is more of a motivational factor to reach your goals, and dreams. You just visualize what you want. Imagine what you want to happen. Imagine how it feels to reach that dream. Imagine what you are doing, where you are, what positive changes it made, how it made your life after it happened. Be specific. Add dialogue, feelings, sensations. This is a good practice to get you on the path to where you want to be in life.
  • Negative to Positive Imagining– I really liked this practice when I tried it. First you sit, think of a worry, or problem. Then imagine the worst case scenario, which is always easiest for us. Then stop thinking, and notice the feelings, and sensation one has. Immerse yourself in those feelings, and what it does to the body. After that, you switch it up. You do the same thing, but think of a positive outcome(this is always harder). Then you dial that feeling up from 1 to 10. Doing this helps cultivate peace of mind. This practice should help you feel a bit more positive about the problem, or worry you have. It is quite an interesting practice to try.
  • Sensory Meditation-In this practice, you use your senses to guide you. This practice is about focusing your attention on any of the senses. Light incense, use body lotions/oils, play music/nature sounds,take a bath. Focus on the particular sense you are using for this practice.
  • Release Meditation-Bring forth the thing that is cultivating negative emotions, a worry, or problem. Inhale-immerse in it(the thoughts, emotions, sensations, reactions). This process help you understand, and accept the worry, or problem. Exhale-release the negative energy out of you. This process can be repeated as long as you need. Sometime the thoughts will keep lingering, until you are ready to move on.
  • Flowing River/Wave Exercise-This is visualizing your thoughts as waves, or as a river. Whenever you have worries, or lots of overwhelming thoughts. Imagine a river, or wave of an ocean. Become aware of what is bothering you, then throw it into the river, and let it flow. If you have lots of thoughts, imagine all the thoughts flowing through the river. Go through each thought one by one as they flow through the river, like when you see an object flowing through a river. Become aware, and let it flow. You can also imagine your thoughts as waves rising(become aware of the thought), and crashing(letting it go).

Now meditation takes concentration and patience. It isn’t for everyone. I have difficulty sitting still as well, but these are good practices to give a try if you like to practice meditation. It definitely has its benefits. I hope these are helpful to you guys.

Image result for meditation quotes

The Busy Mind

Our minds are always buzzing with information. Even when we are sleeping our minds are flooded with dreams constantly. It can be hard to calm the mind down at times, especially when you have a lot of things running through your mind.

The best thing to do when your mind is overwhelmed with lots of thoughts. Is to take deep breaths in and out, and center yourself to the present moment. If you are doing a task, try to focus your energy on that task. If you are not busy. Focus on an object, or your surroundings. Take a look outside, and enjoy the scenery.

Thoughts will continue flooding your mind, but if you continue doing the things above. The mind will eventually calm down. Patience is key. When your mind is calm. Solutions become clear.

Image result for the busy mind

Taking A Step Back

I can’t stress enough how important it is to take a step back, and be mindful whenever you are annoyed, stressed, upset, or angry at someone or something. It is best not to react in these situations.

I recently experienced a stressful situation at work, but I decided not to lash out at the people I felt upset me. I decided to take a step back, not react, and breathe in and out. Once I was able to do this. I was able to clearly analyze the situation. What happened?, why it happened?,  how I can cope?, and handle the situation? I was also able to do some perspective taking.

I realized that the stress was created not from them, but from my mindset, and my perspective. I realized that not everyone stresses about the things I do, and we all are different. I may like things planned and organized, but they may not see things that way, or maybe there was a reason why things happened the way it did. It is upsetting when things don’t go the way I want to, but this is something I have to learn to cope with. I shouldn’t take it out on others.

We must realize the world does not revolve around you, me, or anyone else. This is important to remember. This is something we all seem to forget, which is why many conflicts arise. It is okay to be upset, stressed, annoyed etc… The problem is how you react to those emotions. We all have something that bugs us, but we must learn to be aware, understand, and accept that part about us, and learn to handle things in a mindful way.

There are three steps to handling upsetting situations mindfully. First, take a step back. Do not react. Then take deep breaths in and out(continue doing this), and this will lead you to analyze the situation more clearly. Now why I say reacting doesn’t help is because it can make a little problem persist longer than it should if you do so. You can end up feeling guilt, shame, and even resentment for yourself if you end up reacting, and lashing out. You don’t want this.

After the episode ended. My emotions eventually faded, and my day went on normally. I did not feel guilt, or shame, because I was able to handle the situation in a mindful way. I was back to being happy again. This is important to remember that your emotions will eventually fade, but the behaviors from your actions can last much longer. It may possibly ruin your whole day, and make you even more upset.

This is hard at first, and may be difficult at times, but it is something to try to work on. This can benefit you greatly, and cause less problems in your life. It can help little problems remain that way, so that they don’t turn into big ones. It can help you go on about your day like nothing happened. This is for your peace of mind.

Wind Down Time

We all need a little wind down time. After a day of work, or after a busy day, or after doing anything physically, or mentally draining. It is good to take a moment to relax the mind, and body, and just sit still.

Sitting still is quite an arduous task. Humans struggle to stay still. We want to keep busy, distract ourselves. But this can be exhausting for our minds, and bodies. It is a nice feeling to just sit still, and relax. It could only be for a couple of minutes. Just that bit of time can be good for you. Our minds and body need this time.

We owe our minds and bodies this relaxation time. It could be helpful to keep us at peace. It is about self-control, and training our mind, and body to be still, and relax. Your body, and mind have been running around all day. It is time to relax.

You can try by sitting in a comfortable place in your house. Just sit, and breathe. Relax the body, and allow the mind to flow, with no judgments. Let thoughts flow from the day. Try not to let anything linger. You can even have a timer set, so you don’t have to do it for long. If you have other things you want to get done. That bit of time can be helpful.

If just sitting is too difficult, which it can be. You can focus on something in your surroundings, look around. If you have a window. You can look at the scenery outside. You can also start doing some mindful writing. I am always able to think of ideas and creative stuff when I do this wind down exercise.

This is all about giving your mind and body that time to relax, refresh, and rejuvenate itself. Times like these can help us learn about ourselves, answer questions, and cultivate creative ideas. So why wouldn’t we want this down time? We should all try to give ourselves this time. It can be helpful for our peace of mind. We don’t want to drain ourselves, or exhaust ourselves too much. Give yourself a break. We deserve a little wind down time.

Image result for relaxing mind and body quotes

Image result for relaxing mind and body quotes

Working on Goals:Setting Intentions

Achieving goals can be rewarding. It can help Improve your well-being and sense of self. Although there are benefits to creating goals, and implementing them. It can be hard for most people to sustain the goals. It can be difficult to remain consistent, and continue to achieve the goals in place.

I have set many goals this year, and I have been able to be consistent and motivated, because of some tools I have set in place. I will list some things that have been helpful in staying on the path to reach my goals. Hopefully these can be helpful for you as well. Some of these listed have also been mentioned by others as well.

1.Be Motivated.Well duh,right? It sounds simple enough, but this is very important. This has to be something you really want to do, not because someone else is telling you to do it, or not because you feel you have to do it. That will never work. The goal has to be something that is important to you.

2.List your Goals. This creates a sense of accountability when you write down your goals. If you just think it in your head. There is no accountability, or concrete evidence of the goal you want to reach. If it is written down. Now you will see evidence of what you want to do, and it can motivate you to get it done, so you can check it off your list of the goal that was achieved. Oh yeah, it is good to check them off as you achieve each goal. That can give you a sense of accomplishment. I usually check them off at night, but you can do it after the goal is done to stay on track, or in the middle of the day. I am pretty used to my schedule, so it isn’t hard to keep track, so it easier to do it at night(weekdays), or in the middle of the day(weekends), since I get most of my goals done in the morning. It is up to you, and what is best for you. Below is a link of some goal journals you can try. I just recently bought one to stay on track.

https://www.amazon.com/slp/goal-and-gratitude-journal/2juhc2w3j3htbs2

3.Take Steps, increments. When people create goals, they tend to try to do too much. For example, if you want to lose weight. A person may think about going to the gym 5 times a week, since that is the best way to lose weight, but it may not be the best idea to start out that way. Maybe one, or two times a week would be better.

You may think that won’t help you lose weight faster, but you got to think long-term, and people tend to think short-term, but if you think that way. The goal will fail, because of how demanding, and difficult the task is for someone who barely, or never worked out.

No one wants to do something that is too demanding. That is why it is best to start small, because it is much easier, and manageable to do simpler task, and you will most likely stay with the goal, because of the simplicity, which will eventually lead you to want to increase the goal when you get habituated to the simpler task. You really got to think long-term, rather than short-term when creating a goal. It is a marathon, not a sprint.

4.Set Modest,achievable goals. Pretty similar to the one above. Just try not to create a goal that is too demanding or difficult. You will most likely not want to keep doing it if it is too hard. Who wants to do anything difficult in life? Make it easier for yourself by doing something that is manageable. Also, try not to have too many goals, so that it gets overwhelming. Try to space it out if it is too much, or move it to another day. You want to have some breathing room. This is about being productive and relaxed, not busy and overwhelmed.

5.Make goals specific: For example, try not to list, ‘I want to lose weight,’ ‘I want to cook more,’ or ‘I want to eat healthier.’ These are way too broad, and it makes it harder to implement a plan of action. It may be better to say, ‘I will work out two days a week for an hour,’ ‘I will cook on the weekends for dinner’, or ‘I will eat a fruit everyday.’ These goals give you an idea, and a plan of what you can do to achieve your goals.

Although these are listed by numbers, none is more important than the other. I think all of these things have to come together to be able to stay consistent on the goals you want to achieve. And I am sure there are some other things that can be helpful as well, but these listed have been helpful on my goal journey, and many others, so it may be beneficial to try these things when trying to reach a goal/goals in life.

Image result for reaching goals quotes

Image result for reaching goals quotes

Image result for reaching goals quotes