Depression and Suicide

I just found out another artist I admire has passed away due to suicide. I thought about the subject of depression and suicide all day. I felt the need to make a post about depression and suicide. In the United States about 41,000 people commit suicide(NAMI, 2017).  There are about 3 Million cases of depression each year(Mayo Clinic, 2017). A person must really be in a bad place mentally to want to end things. It hurts to know that there are people who feel hopeless, and only see a future of sadness and despair in their lives. It is sad that our mind, which can be a beautiful thing, can also make us suffer. This all stems from negative self-talk(being you worse critic), catastrophizing(making something seem worse than it is), and the inability to cope with life struggles. I believe it is also stems from lack of validity of their feelings and thoughts. We all want to be understood. We also like to know what we are feeling isn’t wrong, or something that should be shamed. It is always good to have someone who just gets it. That is why it is important to talk to someone who can provide that. Active listening(paying attention, and acknowledging someone’s thoughts and feelings) is such an important tool to have. If there is no relative, or friend. You can always try a therapist, and if money is an issue. There are plenty of hotlines you can use. If anyone is reading this and feels down. I am here to listen as well.

One loses all sense of logic and reasoning when they are severely depressed, and choose to commit suicide. That is why blaming the person who committed suicide is wrong. This person isn’t being selfish or being a drama queen. They truly believe they and everyone else would be better off without them. They may see themselves as a burden to others, and feel the need to take that burden off by killing themselves. It can also be exhausting for the individual to keep fighting these feelings of despair, if they can’t find a way to overcome the depression. There is no rationality when someone is mentally unstable. A person who is depressed may keep their thoughts to themselves to not burden anyone, but that only hurts the individual. Letting it out can be very therapeutic and freeing. And as I mentioned before, there may be shame. Why am I feeling this way? I shouldn’t feel this way? Get a grip? I am just a burden? Everyone’s thoughts and feelings are valid. Everyone has a right to feel the way do. Don’t be ashamed of being depressed or anxious, or having any mental illness. We have this faulty belief that it is in our control, which makes one feel guilty, but developing a mental illness is out of our control, but we do have power to stabilize it, and get our lives back.

Family and friends may blame themselves for not doing enough. This is all part of the grieving process. I should have been more? I didn’t listen enough? I didn’t see the signs? I should have tried harder to get he/she to talk? Honestly there is nothing anyone else can do for another. Getting help has to come from the individual. No one can make us do anything we don’t want to do. Just think about all the advice you gave to others, or solutions to problems you gave. Majority of the time, if not all the time, that person will do what they want to do. There have been times when I gave someone advice, and they didn’t listen, but months later they will say exactly what I said. This happened because they came to the conclusion themselves. This is why no matter what you do, it wouldn’t change how they think and feel. It has to be up to them how they will handle things. If they want to fight or let go. Sometimes life is just too hard for some people to handle. There should be no blaming on any party.

There are coping strategies out there to help. One strategy is Cognitive Behavior/REBT therapy. Albert Ellis, an important contributor to the ideas behind cognitive-behavioraltherapy and the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), discovered that people’s beliefs strongly affected their emotional functioning. In particular certain irrational beliefs made people feel depressed, anxious or angry and led to self-defeating behaviors(Jorn, 2016). This type of therapy helps one change faulty thought processes.

I also thought I add this. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911 immediately.


Jorn, A. (2016). Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2017, from

Embracing Sadness

I know I spoken about having a positive mindset, and being happy. We should definitely strive to be happy. That doesn’t mean we are not allowed to be sad. Sadness is something we can not control.  There will be times when we will get sad. We should not try to avoid, or push away our feelings of sadness. We should learn to embrace sadness. When you embrace sadness. You can learn and accept your feelings of sadness. Using defense mechanisms such as, drugs, alcohol, denial etc., does not get to the root of why you are sad, but learning to embrace your sadness will help you discover why you are upset, and that will help you come up with solutions to help you get over your sadness. It is also okay to cry, and vent to others as well. Do not keep your feelings in. It is not good for you mentally, or physically. Even if you don’t want to vent to others, or don’t have others to vent to, try to use another outlet to let your thoughts out, like a journal, or blog. Speaking to a therapist would be another option. Also, to the people who don’t have people to talk to. There are plenty of forums, or support groups to join that can be an outlet for you. You can also let your thoughts out in an artistic way-writing, composing music, poems, drawings, photography etc. Just think about how much better you feel when you are able to let your thoughts and feelings out. It is very therapeutic. If you feel the need to cry, then go ahead. Do not feel ashame to do so.

We as a society only like to embrace the bright side, the light. We want to run away from the darkness. We should realize that in the dark there are things to discover and learn that can make us stronger. Take in the light and the dark, the yin and the yang. Sadness can lead to depression, but that is only when one tries to avoid, and push away the sad emotions. Remember embrace, learn, and accept. This mindset can lead you to the happiness we all strive for, but while you wait, don’t be afraid to be sad, cry, or get upset. Do not listen to anyone who says ‘don’t be sad,’ or ‘get over it.’ You have every right to be sad. It is perfectly fine to be sad. Learn to embrace both happiness and sadness. There is always a need for balance.



Accepting Bumps in the Road:Life Struggles

Everyone would love a smooth and peaceful ride through life. Wouldn’t it be great if everything happened they way we wanted it too? We love predictability. We are just enjoying our lives, and then Bam!, An unpredictable occurrence happens that puts us into turmoil and distress. We don’t like instability.  There is a paradox there. Humans hate instability, but what we must understand, and accept is that life is unpredictable.

That is the biggest problem we face. We just can’t accept that things won’t always go our way. We have this false notion that we deserve the world, and everything should be given to us, so when that doesn’t happen, it causes distress. You ask questions why did this happen?, why me?, what did I do to deserve this? I understand these questions, but those questions won’t help you solve the issue. You know what solve’s problems? Actions.

The questions you should ask when a problem arises is what can I do about this? What steps should I take to get over this hurdle? These questions are productive. We like to feel sorry for ourselves, or internalize the situation, or problem, but that isn’t a healthy way to look at things. We have to accept that struggles in life happen, yes they suck, but it is something we have to go through, it is part of living. And you know what? Struggles build our character, they make us stronger, they teach us lessons. Instead of viewing an unfortunate situation as “the worst thing in the world.” You may try to see it as what can be learned from this, and how can it help me grow as an individual. I know this can be hard, but trying to find the positive of a situation can be very helpful mentally.

Our situations don’t make us. It is how we perceive that situation that makes us. We all have a choice. We can allow a bad experience to control us to where it consumes our lives in a negative way, or we can choose to accept the situation, learn, and grow from it. We should try to use the latter, because a positive mindset only benefits you. And that is what matters, you! Make your life better. Many people have stated that they have become a better person from life struggles. You learn how strong you really are, and how well you can handle adversity.

Life is about growth and learning. You can’t learn and grow from comfort and predictability. If we had comfort and stability in life. We would be the same person from the day we are born to the day we die, and honestly how boring is that? Life struggles are not fun. I agree it sucks, but we can’t control struggles in life, but we can control our perception of it, and that is where we have power, so better to use that power in a good way, and help build your character.

Just thought of this quote while I was writing this. You don’t become a better person from stability. You become a better person from adversity. Lets all try to rise from adversity.15010-The-Hard-Times.jpg


This is a tough concept for many people. We tend to be very critical and negative towards ourselves. The important thing is, if you don’t love yourself, how can you fully love others.

I believe there are some things that create our lack of self-love. One being, we allow others to dictate how we think and feel about ourselves. He/She doesn’t like me, so I must be an awful person?, or he/she doesn’t think I am attractive, so I must be ugly? We must remember that what others think of us is a reflection of them, not you.

Another thing to remember is not everyone will like you, or think you are beautiful, because those things are subjective. Just like you will not like everyone, and think everyone is attractive. This is something people don’t comprehend, which causes distress and self-hatred. This is why you can’t look to others to discover self-love. You must look from within yourself. You may ask, how do I do that, how do I love myself?

It starts with accepting your flaws, and weaknesses. We all try and want to be perfect, but perfection doesn’t exist. We also want to try to find a perfect partner, and that is a mistake as well. That will only leave you disappointed. No one is perfect. What we can do is learn to accept our flaws, and instead of over-blowing our flaws and seeing them as negative traits. We can see them as flaws that help us grow and evolve.

Life is a learning experience. You can’t learn from perfection. You can’t evolve from perfection. I think perfection is overrated.  Yes it is easier just to have good qualities, but nothing will change, and isn’t that boring? I also think that we should learn to focus on our good qualities. We overrate our bad qualities, and underrate our good qualities. That is also the problem.

What are your good qualities? Lets put that to the forefront. Be proud of those qualities, embrace them. Then look at your weaknesses, embrace them as well, and find ways to learn from them as well. You can always get better with practice, but if you don’t accept them. You can’t learn from them. You’ll just let those bad qualities define you, and destroy your self-worth.

Self-love is so important, and honestly the concept should be taught in schools, because so many lack self-love, and this lack of self-love can destroy relationships and families. It also cultivates hatred, jealousy, envy, violence and many other negative concepts.

Self-love cultivates compassion, love and happiness. Who doesn’t want that? All you got to do is accept yourself fully-the good and the bad. We are all beautiful in our own way. Find that way.self-confidence-is-a-byproduct-of-self-acceptance-zero-dean.jpg


What is it, and why is it so important to practice it? Mindfulness has the capability to reduce anxiety and depression. It can enhance memory and performance. By reducing stress and depression. It can help you become healthier physically. So what is it?

Mindfulness is something we all can do. It is the ability to focus on the present moment. Depression stems from focusing on the past, while anxiety stems from focusing on the future. There is a way to not put your focus on either aspect to cause these emotions, and that is having a mindful approach.

We must learn to center ourselves to the moment we are living right now. Focus on what we are experiencing at the moment. What we see, hear, smell, taste, feel or think at the moment. What am I feeling now, am I content, happy, sad? Focusing on the present moment is how we live. This is the moment we are truly living.

Our experiences in the moment is what creates our lives. Unfortunately 47% of the time, we are not living in the moment, our minds wander. That means we are only truly living a bit more than half the time.

Another good thing about living in the moment is that it is the only time you can make a change. You have power over the present, things can get done during that time. If you don’t like your situation, or you want to do something else. The present moment is your time to do it.

You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it, and you can’t control the future, but you can do things in the present to help make your future better. Taking this approach isn’t easy, but inner peace and happiness are worth it, and you gain strength and power by being able to be mindful.

It is hard for me at times to stay focus on the present. It is natural for our minds to wander, but we have to try our best to stay focused. It only benefits us, so why not try it!?

You can start by trying to focus on the present for a minute or two, just so you can get that awareness. And then try to improve on that. It will take time, but as long as you are making the effort. It will do wanders for you.

If you are driving and there is traffic, try looking at your surroundings. I love clouds, so I tend to look at the sky. Same thing for if you are walking, look at the sky, look at the nature, or buildings, or the people, or listen to the sounds. Focus on the smells, or the sounds you hear.

There are practices like body scanning, where you focus on different parts of your body from head to toe. This can take from 3-30 minutes. However long you can do it. There is also mindful eating and drinking, where you pay attention to the sensations of eating and drinking. The smell, the taste, the texture etc. There is also meditation, which is very helpful for me. It is a way to allow your thoughts to flow through you, and be at peace with your situation. I will go into more detail of that practice in a future post. Too much to put on this post.

Each practice depends on you, whatever can help you focus on the present. I may do a post of all the mindful practices in more detail, so you can do whichever one that helps. Being in the present also help us learn more about ourselves, who we are, why are we here, what should I do? You ask all these questions in the present that can help build your character.

Mindfulness is a wonderful technique once you get the hang of it, but it takes practice and time. You will have to be motivated to do this practice, but if you do. It will change your life for the better.


Psychology of Mindfulness Introduction

I have just recently finished my last class for my BA in Psychology. I contemplated what I should do once I graduate. I wondered if there would be any jobs out there. I would like to continue my education in the future, so I can become a professional counselor, but for now I thought of doing something before I get to that chapter. While going through my journal. I stumbled across an idea to start a Psychology blog. I gained a lot of knowledge in Psychology, while working towards my degree, so I thought I share it with others. I thought this would be a good way to do so. Psychology and Mindfulness are two things I am passionate about, so I thought I would combine those two topics in this blog. Mindfulness has reduced my anxiety and depression-my depression is non existent at this point. There have been studies that has shown Mindfulness reduces anxiety and depression, so that makes complete sense. I would love to discuss topics of Mindfulness, and how it can help you. Mindfulness is something I like to incorporate in my practice in the future. I would also like to give advice on different topics-self-worth, self-love, positivism, life struggles, grief etc. I would also like to discuss topics, theories and disorders in Psychology. I would mainly focus on depressive and anxiety disorders, but will discuss others as well. My main focus is on depression and anxiety, since that is prevalent in all humans. And mindfulness is a technique that is useful for these emotions. I would like to be someone you can feel comfortable talking to in an non-judgmental, and open environment. Everyone wants to be heard and understood. We live in a world where people lack empathy and compassion, especially when it comes to mental health. Carl Rogers believed Empathy and positive-regard are important tools to counseling someone, and I totally agree. It is so easy to judge someone, which is why most people do it, but what should be done is to try to understand the individual through their perspective. That is what I would like to do. I always feel much better letting my thoughts, and feelings out. It think it is very therapeutic. We should not keep anything in, because those bottled up feelings can effect your body negatively. I just like to help others to grow, evolve, and have a healthier mindset and lifestyle. We all deserve that! I hope I will be able to help and put things in perspective for you. This is why I love Psychology.e06a7537b6d9e01ba9cae7a194ea1b2d--family-psychology-psychology-quotes