I had an idea of what m Sunday was going to be. I was excited to go the park, sit on a blanket under a tree, and relax with my books, and connect with a friend, but things did not turn out the way I planned. That is the thing about life. You can’t predict the future, or expect things to go the way you thought.
My car didn’t start on the way over there, so had to use my friends car to get to the park. Once we were there. I was still a bit upset about my car, so my excitement died down a bit. The lot where I wanted to go was full, so we had to go to a spot I didn’t like as much. We were also surrounded by cicada’s, and the noise was a bit distracting. We also couldn’t sit under a tree, so we had to stay under the sun, which was unpleasant. We were there for about 30 minutes, so the day didn’t go at all how I planned.
I could have called it a day, said the day was shot, and be miserable, but I recognized this is all part of life. Yes, I am a bit upset nothing went to plan, but not all is lost. I ended just hanging out on my friends porch, in the shade, and we ended up having a nice time. I got to read, listen to music, and connect with my friend. I realized being on her porch was pretty nice, and that we should do that again, instead of going to parks, and dealing with multiple bugs, and also having a bathroom.
So in the end, these bumps brought something new to my horizon. I was able to still enjoy my time, and find a new place to hang out. By the end of the day I felt much better. I was still a bit stressed about my car, but the stress wasn’t too strong. The thing is you will always feel the emotion, but acceptance of uncertainty will lesson the severity.
The day did not go how I planned it, but sometimes life doesn’t go the way you planned. What you envision for the future is not reality. Once reality hits. You got to be able to handle what life has to offer, good or bad, because life isn’t smooth or perfect. And in the end, you may find a silver lining like I did, something good can come out of all of it. I found a new spot to hang out, and I found some good writing material.
Regret is a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. It is hard to live mindfully and peacefully when we have regrets. Regret can be helpful when you are able to learn from it, so that it can help shape your future actions. If you continue to live in the past, and ruminate over what went wrong, rather than trying to figure out how it can help you today, then that is when it can be a problem.
I don’t really like having regrets, and I don’t have any at the moment. Regret is living in the past, and not really coming to acceptance of what happened. Regret steers me away from being mindful and present, so I try not to focus on what went wrong, or didn’t go as well as I liked to. Ruminating over doesn’t help me. Learning and growing from it does.
Life isn’t perfect. Mistakes will happen. Life doesn’t always go the way you planned. What you thought was the right choice back then, may not see like it now. It is easier to judge in retrospect. There may be aspects of my life that didn’t go the way I wanted. I may have made choices that weren’t great, but there are aspects that are good learning experiences. A choice can either be good for you at the moment, or teach you a lesson for the future. There is no place for regret. We don’t know everything. Experience helps us learn.
You live. You learn. At that point in your life you thought it was the right decision. We grow. We change. Regret shows that you had a learning experience. Try not to wallow in self-pity or blame. You are here now. You can always make better choices in the present moment. Don’t allow your past to hold you hostage. Set yourself free by being present. Accept the past. Appreciate your ability to learn and evolve. Use regret as a tool to learn and gain strength. Not as a tool to punish yourself.
Just remember, people regret they didn’t do, rather than the things they did do. Life is an experience. There will be bumps, mistakes and failures. That shows you are truly living.
Being on social media can have its drawbacks. It can create anxiety, frustration, and depression. It is easy to fall into the negativity trap when you immerse yourself into that world. I have been able to stay on social media and still have a peaceful mind and soul. How? I like to discuss the reasons that helped me stay sane and at peace. Some people detox, which is great for them, but I don’t necessarily feel the need, since it doesn’t negatively impact my life. These habits have made it easier to live peacefully without allowing social media to destroy my peace, or should I say. I haven’t allowed social media to destroy my positivity and peace.
Awareness-When it comes to mindfulness. Awareness is very important. This is also the case for my social media use. When I recognize that I am being wasteful, or I am starting to feel any uncomfortable emotions. I shut it off. When I start to feel negativity creep in. I take a step back, recognize where I am going, and revert back to where I want to be. I tell myself none of this is that serious, it is just social media, and I move forward. Being able to be aware of where my thoughts and emotions are going. Helps me pull away from negativity, and push toward a more positive and peaceful mindset.
Don’t engage in negativity-People can say some hurtful things on social media. It is easy to engage and react. There are times I start typing something, but then I become aware of what I am doing, delete it, and move on. I try to ignore negativity on social media. I rather engage in positive things. I rather use it to fangirl over my favorite kpop groups, look at pictures of nature and plants, read inspirational quotes, watch inspirational or funny videos. When you put your energy into the positive aspects. You don’t have much time for the negative aspects.
Acceptance-This is another big point of mindfulness, and a huge way of keeping yourself at peace. There will be comments that upset and frustrate you. The news can be depressing. I follow lots of news on SNS. Not everyone has the same set of values as I do. Not everyone has the same opinions as I do, I recognize this. There are some depressing things that show up on my timeline, but as I recognize there is bad things in this world. There are also good things, and plenty of things to appreciate. Life sucks, but life is also good. I feel bad for the people suffering in this world, but getting depressed doesn’t help them. I can’t help them much. I will just focus on the things I can help, which is my happiness, and helping others seek happiness and peace. The world is filled with good and bad things. That is part of life. Accepting this can help you navigate the digital world much better.
Objectivity-Do not take things personally! Majority of the people on social media are strangers. Their opinion should not have much affect on you. Everyone has different perspectives. Social media is not about being the moral police. I am not perfect, so I will not judge others for their words. Bullying others to fall in line does not make you a happier person. I may disagree with others, and their opinions may be hurtful to others, but that is their opinion. Most of the time I can’t change it, so I rather just keep moving. I recognize we are all different, and have a different set of values. Once you recognize this it will be easier to navigate social media without feeling anger, resentment and frustration.
Seeing the grey-Recognize not everything is black and white, all or nothing, right or wrong. Look at understanding other perspectives. My opinion may be right, but for another opinion it can be right to. Open yourself up to other opinions. You may be surprised that you agree a bit with them. Another opinion from myself doesn’t equate to a wrong opinion, it is just different. Opening yourself up to different opinions makes things easier, and also a learning experience. It makes you more understanding and compassionate, which will make you a more relaxed and happier individual.
No need for validation-I try not to use social media for validation. It is nice to get noticed, but I normally just use it to express myself, that’s it. There is so much freedom in recognizing you don’t need others approval to create a post. I honestly love not having a lot of eyes on me. It is easier to post what I want, and not feel any pressure.
Step away- It is important that you don’t use these platforms all the time. When it is getting too overwhelming. I shut it off. When I recognize I am just wasting time there and mindlessly scrolling. I get off. When I am out. I don’t use it. Social media is not my life. I do other things to occupy my life, which is important to staying at peace. Get out, read, be creative. There is so much more out there. Once I step away. I realize how unimportant things are on social media. The things that upset me don’t matter as much. Real life is more important. This brings me back to reality, and brings me back to a peaceful place.
All of these habits have made my social media experience much more easier to deal with. I very rarely feel any stress, or sadness from being online. Social media is a platform for people to express themselves. It isn’t my life, or your life. The real world is out there. Explore that more, rather than putting your attention on a virtual world. It isn’t that serious. I hope these habits were helpful, and that you learn to use social media with a more mindful heart. I hope you continue to find peace, happiness and love in your lives.
It can be easy be in a negative place in life right now. I choose to be in a more positive space. How I do this is by creating habits that help me stay in a more positive space. Negativity is all around us, but I and you should try to figure out ways to combat them by putting our energy into a more positive mindset. I like to discuss the things that keep me in a more happier and peaceful place. I think we should all create habits that help keep us in a peaceful place. There is enough negativity out there, lets bring in positive vibes and peace.
Appreciation-I like to focus my energy on the things I appreciate in life. I have enough things in my life that I appreciate. When I think about all the good things in my life. I feel a bigger sense of happiness. When I am down, and recognize there are things to appreciate in life. It helps me out of that funk much sooner. I have really made an effort lately to focus on the good, and it has helped me in a positive way.
Laughing-Being around people who make you laugh, joking, and having fun with others is very important for your overall happiness and well being. I enjoy having a good laugh with friends. It is important to have fun in life, and to not be too serious all the time. Have a good laugh with friends. Watching something funny. I am sure it can help you feel much better. It definitely helps me.
Connecting-Talking with loved ones(family/friends) can be very helpful for me. I feel a sense of joy after having a good talk, discussing my life and their lives, and about things in life in general. I learn something new when I am out with friends or family. I think having good chats with my friends or family helps keep me in a better place mentally. We are social creatures. It is important for us to connect.
Mindful time-Spending time away from distractions. Giving me space to let my thoughts free. Giving me space to be creative is important for my overall well-being and happiness. This time allows me to truly appreciate myself and the moment. It gives me the freedom to be me.
Choosing my emotional state-I can’t control my emotions, but I can control the duration of how long the emotion effects my overall state. I get upset, angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad, but I don’t allow these emotions to consume me for a long period of time. I prefer to focus my energy on the more uplifting emotions. Happiness, joy, appreciation, excitement, tranquility, calmness. These emotions are the ones I allow to stick with me for longer periods, keeping me in a better state of mind.
Being a plant mama-Having something to take care of brings me a sense of joy and fulfillment. I also enjoy having them around me. It makes me happy seeing all the plants thriving under my care, okay not all thrive, but majority of them. The fact that I have improved by a lot makes me proud. And I enjoy staring at them every once in awhile. It brings me peace.
Focusing on what I can control-Doing this really helps me a lot. I try to put my energy on the things I can control, because if I focus on the things I can’t, it tends to lead to frustration, anger and misery. There is nothing I can do about every situation. No reason to put myself in a negative space when I don’t have to. I find peace putting my energy on the things I can do.
Doing things I enjoy-Going out for walks, connecting with friends, eating out, going to the beach, doing yoga, reading, having a picnic. These are some of the things I love to do, so I make an effort to do these things when I can. Doing these things puts a big smile on my face, which makes life much more enjoyable and fun.
All of these habits make my life better, so I try to implement them in my life as much as possible. I think it is important to create habits that can help you live the best life you can live. Life is too short to be miserable, especially when you have plenty of things to be grateful for.
I woke this morning with no will to write my usual Monday blog post. I don’t have much inspiration lately. I did have a post to write, but have no urge to write and post it. I have no excitement for it at the moment, so I just don’t want to force myself to post it. I never really post anything I am not excited to write and post. Now grant it, there are plenty of times I don’t feel like writing, but once I push myself I feel much better, and really get into writing, so I think it is important to push yourself eventually, instead of continuously pushing something off. I write because I like providing helpful tips, and spreading my knowledge about mindfulness and personal growth.
I don’t feel guilt or sadness, nor excitement or joy. I am just going through the motions. I am just allowing what I am feeling just to be. If you aren’t feeling motivated, excited, or inspired. That is perfectly okay. There is nothing wrong with that. Days like these happen.
I am just ready to get back to work. I just don’t want to be home. I want to be busy and productive. Was it the gloomy weather? Lack of being outdoors this weekend? Not sure. Although I like keeping a schedule, because it helps push me to get things done. I may not always feel like writing, but once I start writing I tend to enjoy the process. This is why you got to push yourself eventually. Starting is when the magic happens, The thought of starting is much worse, than actually doing what needs to be done.
I choose not to force things all the time. We should all choose not to do so. Be kind to yourself. When you have these days. Listen to your body and emotions. If you don’t have to do it, than don’t. You can have a day to relax. You can have a day where you lack productivity. Just remember to get back to where you need to, because eventually guilt, and your inner critic will come to straighten you up, because humans have this need to continue to progress in life. We like a challenge. We like doing things to better ourselves. Push yourself most of the time, but don’t force all the time. I will end this here. This wasn’t a specific topic. Just my personal story with a bit of helpful tips. Hopefully this resonates with you. Have a lovely week.
It is important to treat yourself with respect and compassion, like you would a good friend. We give others so much love, but forget to give it to ourselves. We also fear being alone with ourselves, but the only way to truly know yourself is by giving you some me time. You realize there is actually a lot of freedom spending time alone.
Having others to depend on is a wonderful thing, but the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. Having the ability to comfort oneself in times of need cultivates freedom and peace. You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how you treat yourself, so why not treat yourself with love and respect?
You got to remember to treat yourself like you would a good friend by listening, empathizing, understanding and lifting oneself up. The things you do for others you care about needs to be practiced on ourselves.
If a friend states they are worthless, a horrible person, ugly, not good enough, or unlovable. You would do everything you can to help lift them up ,or try to convince them they are not those things, why not do that to yourself?
Being proud of yourself is important. Listening to yourself is important. Giving yourself priority is important. Spending quality time with yourself is important. Learning to accept the good, bad, and in between of who you are is important.
Give yourself a break. Don’t be too harsh on oneself. Your inner critic is there to protect you from getting hurt, or from making a mistake, or looking like a fool, but the majority of the time it hurts and pulls us down more than protecting us.
Be kind to yourself. Accept your flaws, like you would a good friend. I am sure you have no problem with the flaws of a good friend, why not accept yours? No one is perfect. If you can’t love yourself. It would be hard to appreciate the love of others.
There are lots of people out of work at my job, so work has been more exhausting and overwhelming, than it has been. The pandemic has made our work situations a bit tough all around. There is a lot of work, but not enough people. The thing that has been keeping my spirits up is the ability to enjoy my days off as much as I can.
I try to use my days off to explore, connect and learn. I think these things help keep me at peace, it allows me to live, it sparks joy and excitement, and it keeps me in a happier place. I enjoy spending my days off connecting with friends. I don’t have many, but the few I do have, I truly enjoy their company. I enjoy talking about my life, hearing about their lives. I always learn something new talking to my friends. Quality over quantity for me. I enjoy being around others who make me feel better after connecting. It can be going for a walk or hike together, or just having a meal together. A nice time connecting with loved ones definitely helps lift my spirits. It is important to have positive people in your life that sparks joy and laughter.
The weather is starting to get warmer, so I spend my days outdoors on my favorite trails. I am trying to discover new trails as well, just to get a new experience to bring some excitement, but I also enjoy going to my favorite ones as well. I also started running again. Getting a good exercise can help rejuvenate my body and soul. I always feel a sense of peace going for my walks. It definitely helps put me in a better mood. I feel more at peace. Listening to my music, or the birds chirping, viewing the scenery, and smelling the fresh air. Ah what a wonderful time to get yourself right from the stresses of the week.
I tried this weekend to be a little creative as well. I bought stickers for my plant vases. I thought I brighten them up a bit. I also bought some more color pencils for my butterfly frame picture(almost done with it). Having the opportunity to be creative and mindful can help me feel accomplished and proud. It feels great to do things with your hands, and create your own version of something.
I have also been reading these interesting books to help keep me mindful and entertained. This one mindful book helps keep me in the moment by having a bunch of activities in it. They are quite fun to do. One activity I really like is their Beautiful moments notecard activity. I write down an interesting or fun moment in my life on these notecards, and I put them in a cup. It is a great way to reflect and look back on the good moments in my life, and it helps me to feel more appreciative of my life. It keeps me positive.
As I mentioned, my weekends are the best time for me to tend to my plants. I love having that time to do plant maintenance. It really makes me feel good taking care of my plants, and doing what I can to keep them alive. It makes me proud seeing my improvements as a plant parent. Keeping them alive makes me feel proud and accomplished.
I truly like to make the best out of my weekends, and live life to the fullest I can. The work week can drain me, and bring me down, so my days off are a way to lift me back up, and bring me back to a positive place. I have been pretty good at staying as positive as I can, because if my weekends are full of joy, that helps buffer the stressors of work, during the week. I try to focus on the positives, but also recognize the difficulties of the situation at the time, but in the end the work will get done, and I will go home.
Your days off are there for you to enjoy. To do whatever you like to do, whatever that may be. Have fun, relax, connect, and find joys. Doing this can make your work week go much smoother, and make one less cranky throughout the week. Anything you can do to make things easier for oneself, and bring more peace to your life. Below are pictures of some of the things I have discussed that spark joy.
How you feel is your choice. You may think it is predetermined, or out of your control, but from my experience with switching my emotional state. I believe we can be in control with how we feel. The reason I write this is because I had my own personal experience last week with switching my emotional state.
I had a bad day ay work, I was frustrated and annoyed. I felt the same way the next morning. I just didn’t want to go into work. I was in a bad mood. During my mindful routine. I decided I just didn’t want to go into work feeling upset and down. I decided to switch my thought pattern, and tried to figure out ways to make my day at work better, ways I wasn’t overworking myself.
I realized I put too much pressure on myself that day. I will prefer to go with the flow the following day. I know at the end of the day the work will get done, and if I stay a bit later, so be it, that is extra money for me. I realized I need to do things for myself to make things go more smoothly. It is all about putting things into your own hands. Only you as an individual know how and what to do to make things better for oneself. No one can do it for you. If you think that. Misery will continue to consume your life.
Once I did all of this. I felt much better. I felt more relaxed, at peace, and happier. I was able to be more calm and happier throughout the day. The work day went more smoothly, and I was able to have enjoyable encounters with my coworkers. It is all in how you think that helps shape your emotional path. I chose peace and contentment, rather than anger and frustration. Why be upset? That doesn’t help me. That doesn’t make me feel good. It doesn’t improve my life. I chose the path that makes my life better. This is something we can all tap into whenever we can.
We are all guilty of this. It is in our nature to want to belong and be liked as social creatures. The thing is taking things personally all the time can have a negative effect on our peace of mind and well-being. It is okay to feel this way at times. We are human. We feel emotions. If not, we would be a psychopath, but we should learn not to allow taking things personally to consume our lives that it creates a world of misery and stress. I like to discuss a couple of reason behind why we may take things personally. Being aware of these habits can help us learn why we may do this, and help us move forward, so that we don’t continue to fall into this trap.
Perfectionism-Not only do you want to be perfect for yourself. You want to appear perfect in front of others. This need to be perfect makes it hard for one to cope with criticism and judgment. It will hurt your pride when someone tells you that you made a mistake, or there is a flaw in your work. This criticism can be well intentioned, but your need to be perfect makes it hard for you to listen or reason. You think this is an attack on you.
The problem with being a perfectionist is that it is unrealistic. You are not perfect. No one is. Once you accept this. It becomes easier to handle criticism without taking it too personally. It will still sting at first, but you will realize that their criticism can help you grow. Now if the criticism isn’t helpful, or it comes from someone who doesn’t know you. There is nothing to be upset about. They don’t know you, and don’t care about your feelings and thoughts, so why care so much about them? The only opinion you should focus on is the ones that help you grow and evolve as a person, or on your skillset.
Putting others before oneself-Your thoughts and feelings don’t matter. Others matter more. I am happy if others are happy, so you can see why it would be easy to take things personally if others opinion are more important than your own. You will try your best to please others.
There is nothing wrong with trying to please others, but your opinion of yourself, and taking care of your needs should come first. People will say things that will hurt you, but if you value yourself and your opinions. Your self-confidence will deflect that hurtful language, especially coming from strangers.
Lack of confidence-Going along with the last habit. The lack of appreciation of yourself and your strengths can be a trigger for taking things personally.
If you have confidence, and truly believe in what you can do. If you focus on your strengths, rather your weaknesses. It makes it easier to not take things personally. You have flaws. You won’t do things perfectly. You will make mistakes, but I know I have plenty of great qualities that makes me an awesome person. Once you recognize this, taking things personally won’t be as much of an issue.
Storytelling-As I mentioned before, our thoughts are our stories. We create scenarios in our head of a situation. It isn’t always based on the facts. We may think this person is out to get us, or they hate us, or they just don’t like me. But it is all in how we think about the situation that creates anger and frustration, not the situation itself. We tend to create stories that make us the victim, and the other person the villain. It can be a good story, but it doesn’t mean it is true.
Cognitive mediation is the idea that things in the world don’t cause emotions. Instead, it’s our thoughts about things that affect how we feel(medium.com)
A person cuts you off, someone isn’t listening to you, someone doesn’t say hi back to you. Your thoughts about these situations trigger your response. Not the situation itself. There are plenty of responses you can take here. Get mad, or angry. Insult them. Get upset that they pissed you off, and ruined your day. You can also take a step back, breathe, recognize their mistake, or maybe the person didn’t hear you, maybe the person had an important place to go, maybe the person listening had other things on their mind. It isn’t always about you. Also recognize that you probably made these same mistakes as well. No one is perfect. You got to remember not everyone thinks the same, or has the same set of values. What may be offensive to you, may not be for another.
Your surrounded by negative people-If it is growing up in a toxic household, or in a toxic relationship, or friendship. These people can help define who you are and how you think. If they treat you like crap, and say harsh things about you. The belief in these thoughts will set in. It is much easier to break someone down, than lift them up. You become more sensitive to others input when all you heard about yourself were negative things. This can also go for toxic positivity as well. If you are constantly saying positive things. The person may not react to criticism very well. We need a balance to thrive as individuals.
It is important to be around people who make you feel good. Who help build you up. Who help you grow. No one has time for toxic relationships(negative or positive). The best bet is to remove yourself from the source. That isn’t always easy. I am not saying it is easy, but it needs to be done to live a life with less self-hatred and criticism.
Toxic positivity-There is such a thing as too much positivity. Being positive is great. Better that, than negative, but we also need negativity in our lives. Like is not perfect. People are not perfect. The inability to see flaws, mistakes, and the bad is a problem. Just focusing on the good can make things difficult for an individual when things don’t go smoothly, or their mistakes and flaws are mentioned. They will feel offended and take it too personally.
Life has its ups and downs. The good and the bad. People have their strengths and weaknesses. Acknowledging this makes it easier to cope with criticism and not take things too personally. If they recognize your flaws, so do you, nothing new, keep it moving.
Recognize the trolls/negative people-There are people, especially online that want to bring others down to their level. They want to hurt others. They want to upset others. Why give them that power? Don’t give them what they want. Remember the source. Don’t let a stranger/associate dictate how you feel about yourself. Everyone’s opinion doesn’t matter to you. Think, is this helping me?, no, then move on.
Always remember to think, is this benefiting me or not? Take in what can help you, and ignore the ones that do not. No need to stress over an opinion that doesn’t matter. That opinion doesn’t define you. The person that does is you.
You can never stop the sting of taking things personally. It will happen to all of us. You can just learn habits or tricks that can help reduce the intensity and duration of these feelings. There is no need to suffer over what others think of you. I am sure there are plenty of others who think you are awesome. Focus on what is important. Your opinion, and the opinion of others who build you up.
I realized how fast I want the week to go, so that the weekend would come, but the weekend comes, and that time flies by as well, then the cycle begins again. We are now already in April of the new year. Time flies. I am already anticipating my adventures for the summer. I keep looking forward, but not living mindfully, and in the moment.
The moment is precious, but I and many others take it for granted at times. We continue to look forward. Rushing through the days, and then realize how time flies. The years, the weeks, and the days go by fast. I can’t just look forward to the weekends, that is only a couple of days out of the year. I got to try to enjoy each day of the year. Trying to embrace the moment as much as I can. I need to step back, pause, and live in the moment.
Yes, work can be difficult at times, but that doesn’t define my whole day. There are moments connecting with coworkers that are enjoyable. There are also moments before work that can be enjoyable as well. Life is too precious to just focus on the weekends, or special adventures. Although I can look forward to my summer adventures. Those moments are far off. The future isn’t here yet. Life is unpredictable, and nothing is set in stone. I need to appreciate the moments now, rather than anticipate the future that doesn’t exist yet.
The moment is now. Your life is now. We are all guilty of rushing. It is part of our nature. It is good to anticipate something in the future. It brings us hope, joy, and excitement, but our focus should be in the moment. Trying to make the best of what is right in front of us.
I no longer want to rush through the week. These are 5 precious days you can’t get back, so I will try to make the best out of these days. We all should make the best out of all our days. Remember your work days are longer, than non work days. Those are a lot of days to rush over. It will be the end of the year sooner than you know it.
Just try to relax, step back, and live as mindfully as you can. Enjoy the little moments. Make moments to enjoy. Try to find little joys within these days. Lets try patience and going through the motions. There will be bad times, dull times, exciting times. Some days suck more than others, and there are days we will like to rush over, that is understandable. You can use those days as a learning experience. Not everyday will be exciting, fun and full of happiness. We should try not to make a habit of rushing through everyday, because time flies faster than you know it. The only time you are truly living is in the moment.