Calming the Stressed/Anxious Mind

My anxiety sprung up a bit yesterday night, and last morning. Worrying about how to deal with HR related stuff for my leave of absence, having to make phone calls that I normally don’t like to take. Phone calls are stressful for me. I had to deal with more phone calls these past two weeks, than I had all this year. It can be overwhelming, but for the most part, the exposure has made it easier to deal with phone calls. I normally do my best to ignore phone calls, but have been answering all of them lately with little hesitation, so there is a positive. Anyway, back to the anxiety.

Anxiety is our minds way of preparing for the worst case scenario. It is for our survival. It doesn’t recognize that our everyday fears are mostly non-threatening, but our minds see it that way. The logical part of our brain recognizes that, but the amygdala, and limbic part of our brains overwhelms that part.

There were three things that helped calm my mind. One was, taking a step back, and just letting things be. I realize things our a little overwhelming right now, but worrying isn’t going to solve anything, and it is just going to ruin the rest of my day. I want to enjoy the moment as much as possible. I tell myself, things will come together. You will not die. It isn’t the end of the world. I will figure things out. Just let it be. My worries seem to dissipate, and weaken when I think this.

Another thing I did was meditate. I did this last night, after feeling nervous about making the phone call. This helped calm my mind and body down. The thoughts kept coming in, but I kept letting them in, and letting go. Eventually, things calm down, and then clarity comes along. The amygdala was no longer ruling my mind. The logic and reasoning part overruled it. I realized that it won’t be as bad as I think it will be, and that i will get through it, like the many other phone calls I got through. I was able to sleep peacefully with no worries. I did make the phone call right when I got up, because even though I was calmer. It is best for me to get things done and over with.

In the morning, I became a bit stressed again from all the things I needed to get done from that phone call. I decided again that stressing wouldn’t help, so decided to do something good for my body and mind. I decided to some yoga. This gives me a chance to put my focus on my body and my breaths, by doing that, it keeps my mind away from all those negative thoughts. Once I was done, I was able to find calmness and clarity. I was able to be aware that everything will be fine, and that now that my mind is clear. I can figure out what I need to get done, and that is what I did. I also felt refreshed from getting a nice and relaxing workout.

I did not want anxiety and stress to define my day. I wanted to make use of my day in the most productive way. Worrying doesn’t help. It gets nothing solved or done. I found some ways to help calm my mind from those stressors. Maybe they can be helpful for you, or maybe there are some others way that help you. Either way it is best to find calm and peace as much as you can possibly can.

6 Worry quotes - iRise Psychology

Tuesday Thought

When I was reading this passage last night from my Mindful Evening book. I chuckled a bit at that part it mentions, “Life just sucks sometime.” Because it is so true. I decided to outline that part, because it is important to remember. Life isn’t always the way you think it will be. It isn’t always how we plan it to be. It sucks sometimes. It is annoying, and burdensome, but it is how it is. Best to accept , and keep moving forward. Life isn’t always roses and happiness. Its okay to have tough moments, challenges and struggles. Just remember there is something to learn from it, and that you will get through it.

IMAG0420

Wednesday Random Post

Be proud of yourself. See the light within yourself. Help others see the light. Bring positivity to yourself and others. Show love, compassion, and acceptance for yourself and others. Times are tough right now. It may be easy to fall into the bubble of negativity. Remember life is unpredictable, and things won’t always go the way you want it to. Try to remain positive and accept what is. Always strive to remain empathetic, appreciative and compassionate. Stay safe everyone.

IMAG0386

Building Healthy Relationships

Trust, Respect, love, attention, communication, compromise, and commitment are things mentioned that make up a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship can bring much more joy and happiness to one’s life. The thing is many people struggle to find a healthy relationship, and end up being in one that can be toxic. It is better for our well-being to bring more positive relationships into our lives, rather than negative ones.

Building a healthy relationship is very important in life. This can be for significant others, family or friendships. It is important maintaining healthy relationships. Having someone who we enjoy being around can bring joy, happiness, and enrich our lives. Healthy relationships can also impact us in a positive way. So what goes into a healthy relationship? How does one have a healthy relationship? There are many factors. Here are some I believe can help cultivate a healthy relationship.

The most important factor is first learning to love and accept oneself. You really should know who you are as a person before getting into a serious relationship. I think being mentally stable is also important. You can’t build a relationship if you haven’t built yourself.

It is important to work on yourself first, then work on having a great relationship afterwards. Many people rush into relationships before they are mentally and emotionally mature to handle it. This is what causes problems in a relationship. If you go into a relationship thinking that this person will help improve your self-esteem, or self-image that is not a healthy way to go into a relationship. Self-love comes from you. Your significant other can motivate you and make you a better person, but that has to come naturally. It isn’t something you should force. It is not another person’s responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. That type of pressure is a recipe for disaster. This is why accepting and loving yourself from within you is important.

Remember it isn’t two halves becoming one, but two wholes, becoming a bigger and stronger whole. You are not two halves coming together to make one, but two wholes coming together. In a healthy relationship you both may strengthen each others weaknesses and may help each other to become a better person. That is part of a healthy relationship, but it should happen organically. Everyone should want to grow and improve in life, so it is great to have a significant other, or friend help bring the best out of you. But it all start with you. When you accept and love yourself as a person. It will be easier to have trust and respect in the relationship.

Jealousy in a relationship is due to insecurities, and low self-esteem of an individual. This is not something you want. Also, if you know who you are, then it will be easier for you to know what you want in a significant other. You can weed out the bad seeds a lot easier. When you know your self-worth. You will seek out individuals who will treat you well with love and respect, and you will be less likely to deal with someone who will treat you like crap. We all deserve someone who will treat us with love and respect, but if you don’t have self-love. You will most likely date someone who doesn’t treat you well.

Another factor to a healthy relationship is independence. I think people lose their independence and identity when they are with someone. This is a recipe for disaster. It is great to be together, but everyone needs their space. A couple should not spend all their time together. Both partners should have their time to themselves, hanging out with their own friends, doing their own them. It will keep the novelty in the relationship, so you both won’t get sick of each other. Being with the same person all the time can get boring, and it can lose the spark and interest in the relationship. It is important to have your own life and identity in a relationship, so that when you come together you can talk and learn more from each other.

There are times when your significant other may not enjoy the things you do, so it is best to do those things on your own, or with good friends. It isn’t healthy to only do things that your significant other wants to do, or vice versa. You both should do things you enjoy. If you both enjoy the same things, great! Have a great time together. There also times when you don’t enjoy the same things, and that is when you do your own thing and enjoy what you love. Don’t let anyone hold you back from doing what you enjoy to do, but you also shouldn’t force someone to do something they don’t enjoy either. Many people in relationships want to do everything together, but that isn’t very healthy, and leads to unhappiness in the relationship to eventually breaking up. I am not saying always do your own thing, but in life there should always be balance.

Trust, respect, honesty, equality, support are all parts of a healthy relationship. The two factors I discussed cultivate these things. Self-love and maintaining your individuality are important factors to building a healthy relationship.

Image result for healthy relationships

Masking Our Thoughts/Emotions

Masking has evolved and is now defined as concealing one’s emotion by portraying another emotion. It is mostly used to conceal a negative emotion (usually sadness, frustration, and anger) with a positive emotion. This is the definition I found online. What I mean by this concept in this post is avoiding, hiding, concealing, or suppressing thoughts and emotions with external means, like food, alcohol and drugs.

Best bet is to confront/acknowledge the problem, or struggle to manage and cope. This will help you find solutions and help ease your mind. The thing is it isn’t an easy concept for most. People tend to prefer to use coping strategies as food, alcohol, and drugs to seek comfort, instead of facing the problem, they do it without realizing it. These strategies are not healthy, but for the individual it is a short-term fix. That is why a mindful approach is very important, so awareness can stop these habits.

Avoiding is easier. It is easier to pick up the drink, take the drugs, and eat the food, than to try to make changes, maybe it isn’t easier, it could be the fact that people don’t have the knowledge to a more mindful approach to get them out of this cycle of habits. The dopamine release from using these strategies for comfort is rewarding for the individual. You feel good for the moment. The problem is it doesn’t last long. It feels nice for a couple minutes, maybe hours, than reality sets in again. Everything is back to where it was when you started. You may even feel worse for doing what you did, feelings of guilt, shame, or anger may arise.

Using these strategies to push away your problems, or hide them away just perpetuates the problem. This allows the problem to linger, which than allows one to continue to act on the bad habit. It is an endless cycle of negativity and bad habits. These habits cloud your mind, especially alcohol and drug use. It impairs the frontal lobe. The area of the brain needed to fix the problem you are dealing with. By clouded the mind, you are allowing the problem to remain and grow.

Nothing can be fixed with external things. It can only alleviate the underlying issues. You will continue to eat, drink, and consume drugs when dealing with negative emotions/thoughts, until one is able to face the problem straight on with a clear mind to find solutions.

I know it is tempting to pick up the drink, eat the food, or take the drugs. But one must learn to take control of their lives, and not allow things around us to control us. These mindless habits can just lead to more problems for one mentally and physically. There is just nothing good long-term that comes out of suppressing your thoughts and feelings.

Taking the mindful road can allow you to become aware of one’s thoughts, feelings and emotions. This can then allow you to become aware of these bad habits. Which then can allow you to put a stop to these habits. You will learn to face the problems in your life, then learn to concur them with a calm and clear mind. This process will provide peace of mind, strength, and recovery. The thing you must always remember is that you have control of your habits. Give yourself back that power. Take the power back into your hands.

Image result for masking your emotions

 

Getting Control of Your Emotions

It is time to put the power back on you. He/she annoyed me. He/she upset me. He/she stressed me out. The thing we as individuals don’t realize is that others don’t cause these emotions. It is us as individuals that allow them to do so. We give others, and life situations power over our emotions.

I tend to do this as well, but I decided I will try to limit blaming others and life situations for my negative emotions. I realize they come from me. The individual is the source of letting negative emotions pervade them. I will not think,he/she made me feel any type of negative emotion, no, I allowed them to create these feelings. Doing this gives me control of my emotions.

This isn’t about blaming yourself for having these feelings. It is all a part of being human. We will all feel these type of emotions. It is about learning that you as an individual have the power, and that creates strength, confidence, and character. We give too much power to others. When you tell yourself, I allowed another individual to create this negative energy me, it gives you the opportunity to learn, grow, evolve, and work on improving how you handle the situation in the future. It is not about blaming yourself, others, or life. It is about accepting the reality of the situation, and working towards improving how you cope with negative emotions in a constructive way.

Remember, you can’t change others, or how life works. The only thing you can do is change yourself, so it is better to work on how you as an individual deals with things. We focus too much on that person, or the situation. The focus should be on ourselves.

Doing this helps me move on from the situation much more quickly and smoothly. It allows me not to hold on to resentment, or anger. I can continue to live peacefully and happily. No one needs that type of negativity in their lives. I definitely don’t. That is why I try not to give power over my emotions to others. This is something I control. This is something I can work on. I have the power. Giving yourself that power is a wonderful tool to create peace, and positivity in your life.

Remember when dealing with negative emotions, take deep breaths, try not to react, try not to place blame, just let it be, and the reality of the situation, and acceptance will shine through.

Image result for control your emotions

 

Morning “Me” Time

This is a personal post about my experience this weekend. I decided not to go online at all in the morning this weekend. I tend to scroll mindlessly a lot on the weekends, so I decided to have a mindful, and me time in the mornings.

I really enjoyed doing this practice. It gives me the head space to clear my mind, and be creative. It just allows my thoughts to run free. It is like I am in my own space. I don’t think I am mindful enough sometimes, but when I do get into a mindful mode. I wonder why I don’t do it often.

It just felt good to be away from the computer, and focus on me. I did some writing. I meditated. I worked on my online course. I did some mindful exercises, which can be fun. My mom bought me a lovely mindfulness book, and it really helps you put things into perspective, and see things differently. I mindfully listened to some music. I did some journaling, cleaning, and exercising. This me time allowed me to think more about things, but in a very mindful manner. I just allowed my thoughts to flow freely. It is a really wonderful experience to give yourself space to be you, and work on you.

I felt a sense of peace, relaxation, and positivity from giving myself the space to be me. I wasn’t bombarded by others thoughts and negativity by going online. I was just giving my mind the space it needed for clarity and creativity, which is a very beautiful thing. I like to continue this practice daily, especially on the weekends when I have more time on my hands. I hope you all have a lovely mindful morning wherever you are.

Not sure if this quote really fits with what I am talking about, but it really spoke to me.

Image result for focus on you