Sitting With Boredom

It really is hard for us to just do nothing. We grab our phones, turn on our TV’s, or use the computer for some sort of stimulation. It is like our clutch to keep us away from the uncomfortable stillness. We don’t like boredom. We see it as bad, but boredom really isn’t bad for you, actually it can be good for you. Yes, that may sound strange, but hear me out.

I have been trying to keep my distance from too much stimulation, and tried to be more mindful, and accept boredom in my life. We try to escape boredom by any means possible, but boredom is part of life. You will be bored at times, and that is okay. Boredom like any emotion, just is, it isn’t good or bad. It is how we perceive it that makes it good or bad for us.

What we should do is learn to use boredom to our advantage, rather than use that time to distract us with nonsense, or wallow, or become depressed in the fact that you have nothing to do. I find myself to be the most creative, during these times. Boredom gives me the time to be in the moment. It allows me to think through my problems. It allows me to look into my goals. It gives me ideas of what I can do to improve my self and my well-being. I agree that it is uncomfortable to sit still, and be bored, but these moments can allow for some great insight and knowledge.

Our screens make it much easier to get away from the boredom, but by doing this we are getting away from an essential part of life. We have gotten so comfortable with the busy lifestyle of easy distraction. We forgot how to be bored. How to be still. Our ancestors did not have these easy distractions to fill the time, so it can be done. I have also fallen into the trap of when there is nothing to do, fill it with distractions of the screen, if its watching Youtube videos, scrolling social media, playing a game, even reading a book. I didn’t realize I can use that time of stillness and boredom to my advantage, because I didn’t want to sit with the uncomfortable feeling.

Boredom creates productivity, creativity, ideas, reflection, insight, knowledge. All needed to improve our goals and well-being. You can’t do this with constant busyness and stimulation. The problem with boredom is that we see as bad thing, which creates resistance. We can’t possibly have something to do at all times. There will be gaps. We live in a culture that praises the busy lifestyle, so we don’t feel to good about ourselves when we are doing nothing, but doing nothing is as necessary as doing something. You need the space to relax, rest, refresh, gain perspective.

To cope and combat boredom blues. We got to learn to embrace and accept it. Sit with it more to understand the benefits it contains. Using the digital clutch keeps us away from reality, who we are, and how to live in the moment. Boredom is our rest. Our time to rest. Our time to think of our best ideas. Our time to think of excited and fun plans for the future. The more I sit with it. The more comfortable I am with it. The more relaxed I am. Like anything, you need continuous practice to improve a skill. I have lots of plants, so it is nice just staring at them, or looking out the window, hearing the sounds of nature outside. It really is quite nice once you recognize the beauty of boredom.

I was trying to look up a quote on boredom, and by these quotes I can see why people have such negative thoughts on boredom. I just want to say, boredom isn’t the problem. Your thoughts on it are. It is not the emotion itself that creates turmoil, but your thoughts on it that does. When you are bored you create thoughts like, “This sucks.” “I should be doing something fun.” “My life is boring” etc,. As a human being. You can not constantly be moving. You can not constantly be busy. That is illogical to think this way. We feel guilt when we are not doing something fun, because we feel we have to. It is impossible to have something to do all the time, and even if you try. You will possibly burn out. You need space to be still. Life is about balance. Not one or the other. You need both to live a fulfilling life.

Mindful Reminder Post

Just wanted to put this reminder out there. You will not agree with everyone’s opinions on subject matters of the self, others, and ideas. Try not to put your energy, or get angry over a different opinion, even if it is offensive, or crazy to you. Let them have their opinion. Focus your energy on yourself, your energy, your values, and your opinion. Don’t let the ego win. The ego wants everyone to agree with it. The ego wants to be right. We are all different. We all have different opinions. You can’t change that. No matter how angry, or defensive you get. Their opinions only hurt you if you let it. Agree to disagree and move forward. Educate others on your opinion, and open yourself up to others. Ignore hateful opinions. You don’t need that type of energy in your life. When you focus your energy on yourself, and the people who support you. You have no time to worry about others who add no value to your life.

Dealing With Victim Mentality

This mindset holds the belief that the world, and others are against you. That one cannot change anything, so the individual does not bother to try. It creates helplessness. It creates dependency. They put the blame on others, and the world for their misfortune. One can be a victim, but one should try to eventually move forward, rather than stay stuck in the past. This mindset can leave you stuck in self-pity and blaming others, rather than searching from within to find solutions to help you improve your situation. I am not talking about victims of traumatic experiences, but rather people who make themselves victims in times of struggle.

Victim mentality keeps you a prisoner in a state of helplessness, paranoia, frustration, depression and misery, to name a few. The blame is on others, which makes it easier for the individual to sit back and do nothing. Although, others can be at fault. It isn’t helpful to put all your energy on blaming and hating others, and the world. You can’t control life situations, and you can’t control others. How exactly can that help you?

What we can use that energy on is making changes on an individual level. Focus on changing our thoughts, feelings, and actions towards the situation. Everyone will be wronged in life. Unfair crap will happen to everyone. We will all have a shot at a bad experience. No one is exempt. You can trap yourself in why me’s?, but honestly why not you? I can guarantee when you have a bad day, so our many others. The best way to cope is to accept the situation, learn, grow, and move forward. Each day will get better.

Just remember that you may perceive life as horrible, but in reality it is not all bad. Even through our struggles, there is also good in our lives. You may lose a job, but you still have a supportive family to help you out. Your car may break down, but you still got a roof over your head. You may break up with a partner, but you still have loving family and friends to lean on and talk to. We tend to blow up the negative, and downplay the positives.

It is normal to feel this way when something bad happens, and that is okay, but there is a point when you got to stop playing victim, and figure out a way to move forward, and grow on a personal level. You become stagnant when you focus your energy on changing others. It is easier to put the blame on others. It takes pressure off of us. You can’t make the world magically fit into what you would like. This attitude doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes you bitter, unproductive and miserable.

People will crap on you sometimes. People will do things that you perceive as hurtful and wrong. You may also do things that hurt others. Life isn’t black and white. There are more sides to the story, than your own. Bad things happen to good people, because bad things happen to everyone. Life is a lesson. Don’t focus your energy on being the victim. Focus on being a fighter instead. Having victim mentality takes away our accountability. It takes away our freedom of choice. It takes away our control to change.

I like to end things with a quote that fits well with this topic. I am really enjoying this book Radical Awakening by Dr.Shefali. She has such insight, and knowledge to become a truly awakened and authentic individual. I recommend picking this one up.

“When we realize that both the problem and the solution lie in ourselves, the process of change begins…Without this, even if the other person changes, we render ourselves beholden to their change. When we see ourselves as our own enslaver, we create a path towards liberation…When we release all external tethers, we unbridle our inner power and free ourselves to be unapologetically autonomous.” Dr.Shefali(Radical Awakening)

The Good and Bad

The world is full of good and bad moments. Good and bad people. Good and bad events. Wins and losses. Life and death. There is no black and white. All or nothing. The world has a balance. We can choose to focus on the positives or negatives. It is all in our hands, or minds. The world can be tumultuous, and it can be peaceful. It depends on the experience you are having at the moment. A bad day for you, can be a great day for another, and vice versa. The world can suck, but it can also be a wonderful place. There is beauty, and there is ugly.

I just wanted to put a reminder out there that life has its ups and downs. Its lows and highs. We may think all is bad or good, but in reality it is a mixture of both. Life isn’t a smooth, peaceful ride. As there is day and night. There is always light and darkness. It may be hard to see light in a cloud of darkness, but it is there. And although, it is wonderful to be bright, accept that darkness will come into your life. Be appreciative of the peaceful times, and accept the difficult times. Both experiences can be learned from. A bad experience, or horrific event can push you to only see the negative, but remember that light surrounds you. Hopefully it can seep into your life sooner, rather than later. Good and bad are all around us, which one would you rather focus on?

Quotes about Bad experience (129 quotes)

Give Yourself Space

Give yourself space and time to get away from the information overload or the distractions of the world. I sit here viewing the scenery of my plants in my room. I am listening to the sounds of the rain playing, and the thunder outdoors. I am looking at the grey clouds outdoors. It is quite nice to just sit and breathe. Giving my thoughts the air to breathe. I find this very relaxing and therapeutic.

I enjoy writing my thoughts on paper and meditating as well. Tending to my plants can also give me the space to be in the moment, and let my mind be at peace. It is important not to get stuck in distractions and a busy lifestyle. Take time to be still, and be in the moment. Enjoying the scenery and sounds around you. Allowing your thoughts, and emotions to flow through you, and be heard and understood. Take care of yourself, and everything will fall into place.

Give yourself the space to understand oneself, and deal with emotions you may have. It isn’t easy to sit still, believe me I find it difficult, but a little discomfort is good for us. We should always try to get out of our comfort zone every once in awhile. Take on the challenge. It can only help us build into a stronger individual. Strive to take care of yourself, be appreciative, and be mindful.

Give yourself space to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors and nature as well. I wanted to post this beautiful shot of my favorite place to walk and be at peace.

Live With Discomfort

Although, we like comfort. It is important to learn to embrace discomfort. Use discomfort as a tool to learn and grow. Life would be boring if we didn’t have challenges and room to grow. Life involves changes. Sticking to the same routine cultivates stagnation. Go with the flow of life. Ride the waves. Let the storms come and go. Allow the sun to shine. I admit the anxious feeling isn’t enjoyable, but I do learn to embrace the feeling, because I know the experience will be beneficial to my growth. Living isn’t comfort. Creativity doesn’t come from comfort. There are things in life we will not enjoy. Discomfort is one of them. It does not mean it isn’t necessary in our lives. Pity, blame, anger, frustration, or sadness won’t help you. Accept what is, and this can help you move forward and learn. Attaching yourself to a perfect and comfortable life will lead you to pain and misery. Just remember, we all been through some crap, but we have gotten through it, and we will get through it again.

Oscillation of Mindfulness & Distractions

The continuous cycle, the back and forth. I catch myself entangled in the digital world once again. My bouts of mindfulness and distractions swing from one end to the other. Not much of inspiration or motivation going on at one moment, than the next I get back to immersing myself in my thoughts, meditate, and looking for inspiration and gaining knowledge. It is interesting. but not all that surprising. My mind needs rest, get distracted. My mind needs more fulfilling stimulation, lets get back to mindfulness. I don’t want to guilt myself for not being as mindful, as sharp, or as creative as I could be. I know I won’t be on my A game at all times. I won’t have the will to write all the times. I don’t always want to be mindful. I like distractions from time to time. It gives me the break I need. I know eventually I will get back on track. I always do. The road towards your goals and self-growth isn’t linear. There is some back and forth going on there. You get off the road, but you will get back on it. Getting back to it is what matters. I am now getting some of my juice back, after a week, or so. I continue to practice self-kindness and compassion when I catch myself moving towards distractions. It happens. I am human. Just enjoy, and you will get back to where you need to be. Remember, these distractions should not create harm to your mental health. It should help relax you. It should be enjoyable. If it does, please try to distance oneself, and look for more enjoyable distractions. I will end this here. I just wanted to put it out there that it isn’t easy being mindful all the times, and that it isn’t wrong to find distractions to help stimulate your mind at times. Balance is key.

Life Of Uncertainty

I had an idea of what m Sunday was going to be. I was excited to go the park, sit on a blanket under a tree, and relax with my books, and connect with a friend, but things did not turn out the way I planned. That is the thing about life. You can’t predict the future, or expect things to go the way you thought.

My car didn’t start on the way over there, so had to use my friends car to get to the park. Once we were there. I was still a bit upset about my car, so my excitement died down a bit. The lot where I wanted to go was full, so we had to go to a spot I didn’t like as much. We were also surrounded by cicada’s, and the noise was a bit distracting. We also couldn’t sit under a tree, so we had to stay under the sun, which was unpleasant. We were there for about 30 minutes, so the day didn’t go at all how I planned.

I could have called it a day, said the day was shot, and be miserable, but I recognized this is all part of life. Yes, I am a bit upset nothing went to plan, but not all is lost. I ended just hanging out on my friends porch, in the shade, and we ended up having a nice time. I got to read, listen to music, and connect with my friend. I realized being on her porch was pretty nice, and that we should do that again, instead of going to parks, and dealing with multiple bugs, and also having a bathroom.

So in the end, these bumps brought something new to my horizon. I was able to still enjoy my time, and find a new place to hang out. By the end of the day I felt much better. I was still a bit stressed about my car, but the stress wasn’t too strong. The thing is you will always feel the emotion, but acceptance of uncertainty will lesson the severity.

The day did not go how I planned it, but sometimes life doesn’t go the way you planned. What you envision for the future is not reality. Once reality hits. You got to be able to handle what life has to offer, good or bad, because life isn’t smooth or perfect. And in the end, you may find a silver lining like I did, something good can come out of all of it. I found a new spot to hang out, and I found some good writing material.

Regret

Regret is a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. It is hard to live mindfully and peacefully when we have regrets. Regret can be helpful when you are able to learn from it, so that it can help shape your future actions. If you continue to live in the past, and ruminate over what went wrong, rather than trying to figure out how it can help you today, then that is when it can be a problem.

I don’t really like having regrets, and I don’t have any at the moment. Regret is living in the past, and not really coming to acceptance of what happened. Regret steers me away from being mindful and present, so I try not to focus on what went wrong, or didn’t go as well as I liked to. Ruminating over doesn’t help me. Learning and growing from it does.

Life isn’t perfect. Mistakes will happen. Life doesn’t always go the way you planned. What you thought was the right choice back then, may not see like it now. It is easier to judge in retrospect. There may be aspects of my life that didn’t go the way I wanted. I may have made choices that weren’t great, but there are aspects that are good learning experiences. A choice can either be good for you at the moment, or teach you a lesson for the future. There is no place for regret. We don’t know everything. Experience helps us learn.

You live. You learn. At that point in your life you thought it was the right decision. We grow. We change. Regret shows that you had a learning experience. Try not to wallow in self-pity or blame. You are here now. You can always make better choices in the present moment. Don’t allow your past to hold you hostage. Set yourself free by being present. Accept the past. Appreciate your ability to learn and evolve. Use regret as a tool to learn and gain strength. Not as a tool to punish yourself.

Just remember, people regret they didn’t do, rather than the things they did do. Life is an experience. There will be bumps, mistakes and failures. That shows you are truly living.

99 Of The Best Quotes About Having Regrets | Regret quotes, Never regret  quotes, Relationship regret quotes

Be Your Best Friend

It is important to treat yourself with respect and compassion, like you would a good friend. We give others so much love, but forget to give it to ourselves. We also fear being alone with ourselves, but the only way to truly know yourself is by giving you some me time. You realize there is actually a lot of freedom spending time alone.

Having others to depend on is a wonderful thing, but the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. Having the ability to comfort oneself in times of need cultivates freedom and peace. You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how you treat yourself, so why not treat yourself with love and respect?

You got to remember to treat yourself like you would a good friend by listening, empathizing, understanding and lifting oneself up. The things you do for others you care about needs to be practiced on ourselves.

If a friend states they are worthless, a horrible person, ugly, not good enough, or unlovable. You would do everything you can to help lift them up ,or try to convince them they are not those things, why not do that to yourself?

Being proud of yourself is important. Listening to yourself is important. Giving yourself priority is important. Spending quality time with yourself is important. Learning to accept the good, bad, and in between of who you are is important.

Give yourself a break. Don’t be too harsh on oneself. Your inner critic is there to protect you from getting hurt, or from making a mistake, or looking like a fool, but the majority of the time it hurts and pulls us down more than protecting us.

Be kind to yourself. Accept your flaws, like you would a good friend. I am sure you have no problem with the flaws of a good friend, why not accept yours? No one is perfect. If you can’t love yourself. It would be hard to appreciate the love of others.

Things one can do to be your best friend

  • Honor your needs
  • Listen to yourself
  • Spend time alone
  • Set boundaries
  • Practice self compassion
  • Accept flaws
  • Appreciate your strengths
  • Praise oneself
  • Find self comfort
Be your own best friend Quotes | Heartfelt Love And Life Quotes