Refresh(A New Year)

A new year has arrived! Time to refresh ourselves. It is time to get back to business. Back to our goals. The holidays are a busy time. We can easily get distracted, during these times, not saying it is a bad thing though. December is the time to spend time with love ones, have fun, and relax.

The new year brings a fresh start. I don’t necessarily believe a new year brings a new you, but it can be a fresh start to get back on track. If it is to get healthier, work or goals/projects, or make changes.

With the holidays, and mostly being sick all month. I lacked motivation to do anything productive, but that is okay. The new year is about making fresh starts, or restarting the things you were working on.

We can appreciate what we done last year. We got through the ups and downs. We learned important lesson throughout the year. The new year is about hope, mystery, discovery, and new challenges.

Use this time to focus on what is important to you, and allocate your time to those things. I decided to make a list of things that are important to me, so I can make sure I make time to work on those things, or make time to do those things in the new year.

I seen a lot of people say “I hope only good things happen in the new year,” or “this year will be your best.” I am not a big fan of these statements. Challenges will happen, it is reality. You set yourself up for misery with these unrealistic statements. You never know how the year will go. Just take it day by day. You can hope for the best, but that is all you can do. Just remember everything may not go your way, but you can always put in the effort to try to make it a good year. Focus on what you can control. Your efforts make things happen.

Reflection 2021

As we get to the new year. It is now time to reflect on the year we had. Man time flies. This is why it is important to savor the moments while we can. Reflecting on the year helps us understand the year we had. It also helps us grow and learn for the new year. I like to make this post short and sweet, so here are some questions to think about.

Did you reach your goals this year? How did it go?

What was the highlight of your year?

What was the low?

What challenges did you face? How did you cope?

What achievements are you proud of this year?

What did you learn this year?

Did you take care of yourself this year? Can there be improvements?

What are your overall thoughts of 2021?

Just some questions to think about. Every year is a learning experience. 365 days to experience. I hope you all have a lovely new year. Stay safe out there. Much love<333

Carving your own path(self-care journey)

As we look to others for guidance on self-care, motivational tips, or self help tips. It is important to know looking within ourselves and experiencing things for ourselves will be the major factor in helping oneself achieve their goals, find peace of mind and evolve as an individual. We can consume as much self-help content as we like, but our own journey is what really teach us the lessons we need to learn in life.

I consume many self-help vlogs, podcasts and books for inspiration and creativity. I do find I learn the best from my own experiences through trial and error by finding ways that work best for me. Taking action is how I learn and evolve. Consuming can only get you so far.

We are all different individuals, so there isn’t one size fits all self-care tips. What works for one individual, may not work for another. This is a continues journey, so people’s opinions on things change as they continue through their journey. I know mine has. It is a natural process on our journey through life.

It is important not to follow guidance step by step, word for word, tip for tip. They are a guide, a footprint, a baseline. Take in what works for you. In the end, it is up to you to figure out ways that helps improve your well being. Also, majority of these things are recycled again and again, just worded differently through the perspective of the person giving out the advice.

Take others advice, including mine with a grain of salt. What works for them, may not work for you. Different environments, different personalities, different lifestyles affect what works for an individual. Take in what you can, and create elements that can work for you. All in all, the journey to improving your life starts with you, and your willingness to take actions. Others may help, but your work is what truly matters.

Toxic Productivity

I made a post about productivity a couple of posts ago. Although, being productive is great for us, it can also get to the point of toxicity if we do too much. Like I mentioned before, balance is key, too much of anything can be toxic.

I slightly fell into this trap last Sunday. I have been on a productivity kick last month, but there comes a time you are just not feeling it, or are too burned out mentally to be productive.

I spent most of my Sunday working on my course, and doing my personality analysis. After 6, my brain couldn’t do anymore. I wanted to do the last two analysis, but knew I couldn’t do more, so called it a day. I decided to watch some entertaining Youtube videos to relax.

About an hour of watching. I did start to feel some guilt. I thought I should be more mindful and productive. After a conversation with myself( I do this to work through my emotions/thoughts). I realized after my hard work. I deserved a break to entertain myself. I get into the headspace of having to be productive and mindful all the time. Equating distractions to being a bad thing. We need to entertain ourselves to relax. Being passive to recharge. I can’t always be on, especially after doing so much mental work.

The problem is consuming too much, but on the other side, a problem is being to productive, which can create burnout, and the ability to lose your creative juice. We shouldn’t have too much of anything, even if that thing is good for us. Balance is key. I think it is important to write this, because no one can be mindful/productive at all times, even if people make it seem that way. People may sell that story, but it isn’t reality.

Make habits simple and easy

What has made my new habits more sustainable is by making them simple and easy. I have gotten back into the habit of doing yoga. What had made me stop is because I made it too difficult for myself to maintain the habit by making the habit to restrict time wise. I wanted to do 30 minute sessions each time, but that was too much for me, so I have now cut it down to 10 minutes, or I just do what I can. By doing this it has made the habit more sustainable. I was only motivated to do the 30 minute sessions once a week, but by cutting it down I have been motivated to do it more times in a week, allowing my total minutes a week go up, so a win there. Small steps creates bigger outcomes.

I also stopped trying to read books by chapter, and just read what I can. I realized I would face resistance if I felt the need to read a chapter a day, but by just reading what I can creates a space and freedom to read more often. By just making the habit simple and less restrictive, instead of doing more than you can handle, allows me to continue to do the habit. Putting a time limit on a habit creates resistance, instead just do what you can. 1-3 pages a day is better than not reading at all. One page is still getting the reading you want done. This also goes with coloring for me. I simply do what I can. It allows me to enjoy the hobby more, and repeat the practice. I color for as long as I want, rather than try to finish a whole page.

You may not feel like doing something for a certain period of time one day, so try not to put a time constraint on the habit. Just make the intention to do what you can. Make it simple, easy, and less restrictive. The habit to do it more often than not will become easier.

My habit of meditating hasn’t been consistent, because once again, time constraint was put into it. Now I just sit and see where it goes. If I do it for one minute, that is meditating, if 10 minutes, I meditated. Going with the flow has helped the habit to stick, rather than forcing myself to do 10 minute sessions.

After awhile these habits do get harder to maintain daily. I have been practicing Spanish and Korean. At first, I enjoyed practicing everyday, but that eventually died down. I recognized 3 things that stop us from continuing a new practice/habit. The 1st is excitement dies down. When you first start a habit, the excitement of something novel keeps us motivated to do the habit, but as the habit gets repeated the novelty and excitement dies down, so you lose that motivation to continue. The 2nd is things are not progressing as fast as you like. We tend to want quick results, so if we don’t see it. We give up. I started losing motivation, because I wasn’t learning fast enough. The 3rd is the habit isn’t as easy to do. Now that the excitement is gone. I realize learning a new language isn’t quite easy.

These three things create resistance, which pushes us to stop. Although, I did give up for a bit. I realized these three things, and asked myself if this is really what I wanted to do, did I want to keep learning, the answer was yes, so that pushed me to keep at it. This goes for any habits of mine that I want to continue. The important thing is if this is something you really want to do. I just need to remind myself that things won’t be as easy and go as quickly as I want, but the more I practice the easier it gets, and the more fluent I will get. As I continue I am understanding the language more and more. It is also important to give yourself the opportunity to take days off.

I don’t feel like learning everyday, so I don’t learn. Things are not lost if you have a day off, or two. Because I know the importance of learning. I always find my way back. I think we get stuck with having to do it everyday, but that isn’t reality. I am not always in the mood to do a certain habit that I want everyday, and that is okay. I know I will get back to doing it, because I know it is something I want to do. I haven’t done yoga in a week, but this week I am feeling it, so will get back to doing it again. It comes and goes. You get back on it. Completely giving up on something you want to do to better yourself won’t help you in the long run, and will create guilt and misery. This is why making habits simple, easy, and less restrictive is so important.

Create Moments/engage with the world

I am making more of an intention to engage with the world, rather than passively scroll online, or watch Youtube/Netflix. I want to create experiences, and be creative by actively living in the moment. I like to do things that help me learn and grow.

I have recently been trying to learn more Spanish and Korean. I have been listening to more Podcast. I have made the intention to color more. I have been doing lots of writing for my blogs, and for my course. I have also started making videos. I just want to make more time being active.

I like to live more intentionally and mindfully. Life is about creating moments. Finding little joys along the way. The more I practice living intentionally. The easier the habits become. Engaging means being creative, productive, working on your craft, and connecting with yourself, others and the world around you. I try to build my day around things that spark joy, creativity, growth and value.

I will say recently I haven’t been as mindful as the past couple of weeks, and I have been watching more Youtube and Netflix, but that is totally okay. We need balance. We will not 100% be productive, creative, or mindful all the time. Allow yourself to be passive without guilt. But there should always be an intention to create moments in anyway that suits you. You will be at ease, happier, and find more peace, and rewarding moments if you do so.

Feel all emotions

Listening to Adele’s new album. I just love how open she is to being vulnerable, and expressing her low emotions with the world. It made me think, how important it is to feel all emotions, and embrace them all. We are humans. We will feel all sorts of emotions in this rollercoaster we call life. Just remember if you distance yourself from feeling the uncomfortable emotions. You will also numb the feelings of the comfortable and more enjoyable emotions. No emotion is bad, or should be suppressed. Emotions tell us something about ourselves, our thoughts, and our world view. We can choose to use it against us, or use it as fuel to better ourselves. You are not horrible for feeling difficult emotions. This is all part of being a human, unless you are a Psychopath, and not sure you want that. Embrace, accept, and learn.

Feeling Lazy/pushing myself to get things done

I tend to feel lethargic and lazy on Saturdays. I don’t have energy to do much, but there were a couple of things I want to get done. I am the type of person who likes to get things done first to get it out of the way.

We can’t always wait for motivation to hit to get things done. You got to push yourself to do. Although, I was tired. I was able to get all the things I wanted to get done. I did not go online, which can be a huge distraction. It gave me the space to get what I needed to get done.

When you don’t have the distraction. You are more willing to get things done, because what else can you do? I cleaned, watered my succulents, did some yoga, washed my clothes, made my shopping list, and prepared my meal for the weekend.

I was happy to get what I wanted accomplished. It took some self-control, distraction free living, and action. It isn’t motivation, but your willingness to bring to action what you need to get done. You got to be willing to do the work.

You realize afterwards how rewarding and enjoyable the activities can be once you are in the zone. So, even if you are not in the mood, do it!, you will be happier if you do so, rather then be immersed will guilt and sadness for not doing so. Try not to focus on the short-term comfort, but rather the long-term rewards from getting the work done.

digital minimalism(my thoughts)

I like listening and watching topics about Digital Minimalism. It allows me to be aware that the screen isn’t my life. It is a nice reminder. Experiencing the world, connecting with it is so much more important.

There is so much to offer out there. We may be afraid to miss out on the net, by being online we are missing out on much more by not truly living and experiencing life. It is important to live. Give yourself space to connect with you and reflect. Give yourself space to truly connect with others and the world.

I sometimes cling to the idea of connecting with others who don’t know me for validation, but that really isn’t important in the whole scheme of things. It doesn’t make me happy. It doesn’t aide my growth. Living life is important. Getting to know yourself is important. Giving yourself a voice to speak is important. By feeling your space with information. You give yourself no chance to think or speak.

Filling the space of boredom with scrolling and Youtube videos can used to better use for learning, creativity and growing. I go online for a sense of community(who else can I discuss Kpop with), but I need to use most of my time being present. I want to be more intentional with my use. My intention is being more active, rather than passively looking at a screen.

Now that I have been been more mindful of my time. I don’t really find the online world as entertaining. It can also be a bit overstimulation, because my brain is getting used to the slow and steady lifestyle. I tend to enjoy the mindful activities more, and it has gotten easier to do them, because I realize how enjoyable, rewarding and relaxing they can be, even if it takes a bit more work.

Some choose to do a whole cleanse, but I choose not to. I enjoy social media. I am just much more intentional with it, which makes my time there much more valuable. My life has been much more enjoyable, because I am doing more things that aide my growth, and cultivating valuable experiences.

treat yourself first

Self-love, respect and acceptance are important in life. When you value and respect yourself. Others will do the same. If you don’t, you will allow others to disrespect you. When you see yourself as unworthy. It becomes easier to make excuses for others treating you like crap, because you feel/think you are not worthy of their respect.

It is important to be comfortable being you true self around others. We shouldn’t tiptoe around everyone’s opinion of us. People will have their opinion’s regardless, and even if you try to please others. People may see you as a pushover, or a people pleaser. How people see you is out of your control. How you express yourself is in your control, so it is better to focus on working on yourself. It creates less stress and anxiety freeing yourself from the control of others opinions.

Yes, it is nice to be liked, but the freedom and peace you get from accepting people who don’t like you is rewarding in itself. Honestly if you are a person who values oneself, but treats others with value. It would be hard for anyone to dislike you. If a person doesn’t like you for being yourself, and standing up for yourself, than do you really need that person liking you?

A person not liking you is their problem, as long as you are not intentionally trying to hurt someone, but also in that case. It is still up to the individual in how they handle that situation. We can’t control a lot in life, but we should try to learn to control the little things we can.

You know your worth. You know there are others who appreciate, and love you for being you. There is a line between self-love and narcissism. Narcissism is solely trying to please yourself. Self-love is about putting yourself first, which allows you to spread that love towards others. Self-love is essential to living more peacefully, and for our mental well-being. Accepting who you are and knowing your worth. You learn to respect and love yourself and others, and by doing so, you get the same in return, because you wouldn’t be able to take someone else’s crap. You won’t allow anyone to disrespect your boundaries, and you learn to stay true to oneself, because you believe in yourself and your values. When you are true to yourself. You are able to connect with like-minded individuals, which allows you to build deeper connections.

There are plenty of times I said no, and didn’t go to parties I didn’t want to go. It isn’t being rude. I need my solitude, and prefer meeting up with one or two people. I also hate parties. You learn what you like, and go with that, and what you don’t, remove yourself from it. There may be times to make compromises, but it shouldn’t be an all time thing. Your needs should be met first, then that gives you the opportunity to meet the needs of others. Treating yourself is important for oneself, but also for others around you. Knowing yourself makes connections with others less stressful and confusing, because clear boundaries are set. Knowing who are, and your worth gives you the opportunity to learn more about others and their value.