Changes

As the season changes. The scenery and weather changes. For some, it may not change. I absolutely love the season change. I love the different feels of the seasons. Autumn is the time to settle down. To enjoy the colors of the leaves. The cooler weather. The beginning of a new season is always enjoyable for me.

A we embrace the new season. We should also learn to embrace the many changes we will face in life. It can be difficult at first, but eventually you will settle into it. Changes are part of life. We evolve. The people around us evolve. We may lose something, and that hurts, but there can always be something to gain as well.

It is okay to be sad and upset about changes, but dwelling on it leads to misery. Learning to figure out ways to move forward is more useful to you. Life is not stagnant. It is forever evolving. It gives you the room to grow and learn. Change cultivates new knowledge and perspective. It can help force you to do something different. You may realize that this change was for the best. Once you settle into it. You except, and you move forward. Life keeps moving on. Changes don’t destroy us. They just make us a different individual. They give life a new twist.

165 Quotes About Change In Your Life and In The World (2021)

Mindful Hobbies

I haven’t been as motivated to write lately. My productivity levels on writing oscillates from time to time. I thought of this idea to discuss my favorite mindful activities, and it has pushed me to write, so thought it would be a good idea to write this. I have been pretty busy with other fun activities, connecting with family and friends, so I haven’t had the energy to write. My next trip is to the beach, so I thought I will write something before then.

It is important to get out, connect, and do fun activities with others. It allows you to be in the moment, and enjoy the life, and the people around you. Mindful activities are a way to get a way from the noise of the world, from the busyness. To just be with oneself, your thoughts, your creativity. To do the things you enjoy doing. I will list a couple of my favorite mindful activities. I am sure you have similar hobbies to mine, and I am sure you have plenty of different ones.

  • Coloring-I have been really into this one as of late. It take a bit of time and energy, but it is nice getting immersed in it. Using your hands to create something is quite lovely and enjoyable. I also enjoy the finished product. I like to put the finished production my wall. I have a coloring book that has inspirational quotes, so they are nice to look at, and read for inspiration.
  • Plant care-Probably my favorite mindful routine. I like giving attention to all my plants, cleaning their leaves, watering them when they need, checking the soil. Taking each one to the sink, and caring for them. I have just enough, so that I am able to care for them. Having too many plants can be overwhelming, and time consuming, so I have the right amount that gives me the space to care for them where it doesn’t take too much of my time, and I am not neglecting any of them. I love getting my cup of coffee, and going at it.
  • Reading-I am currently reading a book on the mind and brain. I find this topic interesting as the brain and mind are quite fascinating to me. I have been trying to read more this year, and I have kept up with it. Reading allows me to be creative, it allows me to think, and it helps fuel inspiration. I also gain new knowledge and perspective from a good read.
  • Nature walks-I haven’t been doing much of this lately. It has been too hot, or I am too exhausted from work, or just not feeling as much lately. I usually enjoy doing this, during the spring and fall time. I did go to a botanical garden last week, and it was quite lovely seeing all those pretty plants, and walking among nature. It gives you the opportunity to see the beauty of the world. It helps center you back to reality. It is refreshing and rejuvenating.
  • Journaling/Letting thoughts breath- Sometimes I just like to take a break from my computer, and just sit, and let my thoughts get some air. I sometimes write it down, but lately I just have been letting my thoughts out in the air. I sit, look at my plants, look out the window, and just breath. It is quite relaxing to do so. It helps bring me back into the moment.
  • Yoga/Dancing-I put these together, because I usually do them together. I start with a high activity, and wind down with some yoga. I like the mixture. I like to listen to my favorite songs at the moment, and dance to them. I like to get lost in the music, while creating my own choreography to the songs. I find this fun. It helps get my heart rate up, and then yoga helps wind it down, and calms my body and mind.
My go to playlist at the moment

Mindful hobbies/activities help keep the spark in your life. It brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment. It cultivates peace and calmness in this busy and unpredictable world. Once in awhile, or at least once a day, step a way, and find the quiet and joy.

Difficult Emotions(Guilt)

I wanted to create a new series of posts discussing different difficult emotions. I think it is important to understand our emotions, especially difficult ones, so that we can better cope with them. The first emotion I will discuss is guilt.

What is guilt: 

Guilt can be described as a conflict between the id, ego, and superego. These are concepts from the father of psychology Sigmund Freud. Freud describes the superego as the highly moral part of our subconscious. It is the part of us that fights against injustice and points out wrongs in others. The alter to this persona is the id or the primitive, unrestrained parts of our subconscious. Freud believed that the superego and the id are mediated by the ego, which represents a struggle for mental balance between these polar opposites. The conflict between the superego and the ego could also be associated with our guilt, or the conflicted feelings about one’s actions. Whether real or imagined, guilt is actually a feeling of responsibility or remorse for an offense or crime(study.com).

Why do we feel guilt:

We feel guilt when our actions don’t align with our values and morals. We feel guilt when we believe we are letting someone down, or hurting their feelings. We feel guilt when we react harshly to others, saying things we didn’t mean to say, or doing things that can be hurtful. We feel guilt when we hurt others. We feel guilt when we act out of character. Guilt can also be prevalent in empaths who chose others happiness over their own. They feel guilt, because they couldn’t make the other person happy. Guilt is an emotion, like all, that must be felt. You can’t eliminate guilt. We are sentient beings, but learning to limit the affect it has on you can be done.

What can we learn:

There is nothing wrong with you for feeling guilt. You are not a bad person for feeling guilt. If anything, it shows you are a caring individual. Guilt can be helpful, it shows us what we value and care about. It tells us when we are out of character. It allows us to learn from our mistakes. It helps strengthen relationships, and teaches us to be a better person. It shows we respect others, and shows we value others emotions and opinions.

Although, it can be helpful. There are times it can be unhelpful. When you attach negative thoughts to the emotion, and beat yourself down for feeling guilt. Sometimes we will hurt others for our own well-being, happiness, and stability. If someone gets hurt, it is there responsibility to cope with those feelings, not you. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings. There are boundaries that you as an individual should set. You will not like someone as much as they like you. There will be times when you don’t want to spend time with someone, even if they want to. Putting your priorities over others doesn’t make you a bad person. It cultivates mental stability and well-being. Now you shouldn’t intentionally hurt others, step all over people, and bring them down, but you shouldn’t do that to yourself for others as well.

Your mental health and happiness comes first. To help others, you got to help yourself first. You have to say no sometimes. You won’t always live up to the standards of others. You won’t want what others want. You will let others down, and others will let you down. That is what we call life. Learn to use guilt as a guide, or a lesson, rather than using it beat you down. There is no avoiding guilt, or any difficult emotion, so using it as a learning tool can put you in a better place. Emotions are guides, use them to your benefit when they arise. Remember, what can you learn from this emotion and go from there.

Let the Emotion Be

I write this, because recently I was feeling lonely. I get this way from time to time, so i decided to get away from my screen, and just sit with the emotion. I sat on my bed, took deep breaths, took in the scenery of my outside window and plants. I decided to write my thoughts, did a word search, and just sat with the emotion. I tried not to judge it, to resist it, or create negative stories about the emotion. I reminded myself, like every emotion, this will pass. I can say, in about 10 minutes the feeling was gone.

I didn’t allow myself to wallow in it, to become a victim of it. I just let it be. Emotions come and go. We have this thought that it will last, which creates resistance, but emotions never last. Remind yourself that it will pass. Just allow yourself to feel. Giving yourself the time to sit with it, and accept it, allows one to move forward much sooner. We are sentient beings. Give yourself the freedom and space to feel. Difficult emotions are apart of being alive.

Boundaries(Learning to Say No)

A personal boundary is a line/limit a person sets between another person to maintain their mental, emotional and physical health. It is important to set these boundaries with others, so you don’t get taken advantage of, or do things you don’t want to do just to keep the peace, or please others. It is okay to compromise and give in every once in awhile, but it should not be a consistent pattern. Doing this creates stress and misery.

It is important to stand your ground and be firm when you need to be. These type of talks are not easy, but they are necessary for the health of your relationship. You may feel uncomfortable and feel guilt, but you and the other individual will get over it. The longer you let the line crossing to continue. The harder it is to stop it, and the more stress and misery one will endure in the long run. This can also lead to anger, frustration, and resentment towards oneself and the other individual.

I had a fellow employee invite himself along with plans with friends. I found that to be rude, and he crossed a boundary for me. I like quality time with my friends, and he ruined that by inviting himself along. The first time I let it go, but after the second time, I had to put a stop to his behavior, so I did. After that situation, he has not invited himself anymore to my plans. This is the importance of letting someone know as soon as possible, so you can stop the behavior. You control how people to advantage of you, not the other individual. They do what you allow them to do.

You should not allow anyone to stray you away from your true self. You may want to keep the peace and not want conflict, but by doing this you create conflict within yourself. In the end it isn’t helpful for yourself, or the other individual. You have to remind yourself that you are not lesser, than the other individual. You deserve just as much peace and happiness as someone else. Your job isn’t to just please others, and bring yourself down.

You can choose to accept the behavior and put up with it, or you can stand firm and let them know. We have a right to do things that bring us joy. We have a right to feel the way we feel. We have a right to live how we want. We have a right to say no. You are not obligated to anyone. You are not responsible for how anyone feels. Remember there needs to be a balance. You don’t want to be to strict, but you don’t want to be too accepting. Once you are able to understand and implement your boundaries. Your life becomes a lot more stress and conflict free.

Mindful Reminder(Mindful Breaks)

Try not to let society pull you away from mindfulness practice. Try not to let society keep you stuck in distractions and busyness. Take some time to take a step back, and immerse in the moment. View the scenery around you. Listen to the sounds that surround you. Smell the scents in your vicinity. Take deep breaths and sit. Stretch your body. Do something you enjoy offline. It can be for 5 minutes, 30, a hour, or more. Any little bit helps center you back in to the moment. This can help bring a little peace and calmness to your life. Strive to remember to check in with yourself and the present moment. Your time to shine is always in the present moment. Your time to live is always in the present moment. The passage below is a great reminder for us not to get stuck in society’s busy train. Take a step back to replenish the mind, body, and soul when you can by mindful living.

Sitting With Boredom

It really is hard for us to just do nothing. We grab our phones, turn on our TV’s, or use the computer for some sort of stimulation. It is like our clutch to keep us away from the uncomfortable stillness. We don’t like boredom. We see it as bad, but boredom really isn’t bad for you, actually it can be good for you. Yes, that may sound strange, but hear me out.

I have been trying to keep my distance from too much stimulation, and tried to be more mindful, and accept boredom in my life. We try to escape boredom by any means possible, but boredom is part of life. You will be bored at times, and that is okay. Boredom like any emotion, just is, it isn’t good or bad. It is how we perceive it that makes it good or bad for us.

What we should do is learn to use boredom to our advantage, rather than use that time to distract us with nonsense, or wallow, or become depressed in the fact that you have nothing to do. I find myself to be the most creative, during these times. Boredom gives me the time to be in the moment. It allows me to think through my problems. It allows me to look into my goals. It gives me ideas of what I can do to improve my self and my well-being. I agree that it is uncomfortable to sit still, and be bored, but these moments can allow for some great insight and knowledge.

Our screens make it much easier to get away from the boredom, but by doing this we are getting away from an essential part of life. We have gotten so comfortable with the busy lifestyle of easy distraction. We forgot how to be bored. How to be still. Our ancestors did not have these easy distractions to fill the time, so it can be done. I have also fallen into the trap of when there is nothing to do, fill it with distractions of the screen, if its watching Youtube videos, scrolling social media, playing a game, even reading a book. I didn’t realize I can use that time of stillness and boredom to my advantage, because I didn’t want to sit with the uncomfortable feeling.

Boredom creates productivity, creativity, ideas, reflection, insight, knowledge. All needed to improve our goals and well-being. You can’t do this with constant busyness and stimulation. The problem with boredom is that we see as bad thing, which creates resistance.. We can’t possibly have something to do at all times. There will be gaps. We live in a culture that praises the busy lifestyle, so we don’t feel to good about ourselves when we are doing nothing, but doing nothing is as necessary as doing something. You need the space to relax, rest, refresh, gain perspective.

To cope and combat boredom blues. We got to learn to embrace and accept it. Sit with it more to understand the benefits it contains. Using the digital clutch keeps us away from reality, who we are, and how to live in the moment. Boredom is our rest. Our time to rest. Our time to think of our best ideas. Our time to think of excited and fun plans for the future. The more I sit with it. The more comfortable I am with it. The more relaxed I am. Like anything, you need continuous practice to improve a skill. I have lots of plants, so it is nice just staring at them, or looking out the window, hearing the sounds of nature outside. It really is quite nice once you recognize the beauty of boredom.

I was trying to look up a quote on boredom, and by these quotes I can see why people have such negative thoughts on boredom. I just want to say, boredom isn’t the problem. Your thoughts on it are. It is not the emotion itself that creates turmoil, but your thoughts on it that does. When you are bored you create thoughts like, “This sucks.” “I should be doing something fun.” “My life is boring” etc,. As a human being. You can not constantly be moving. You can not constantly be busy. That is illogical to think this way. We feel guilt when we are not doing something fun, because we feel we have to. It is impossible to have something to do all the time, and even if you try. You will possibly burn out. You need space to be still. Life is about balance. Not one or the other. You need both to live a fulfilling life.

Mindful Reminder Post

Just wanted to put this reminder out there. You will not agree with everyone’s opinions on subject matters of the self, others, and ideas. Try not to put your energy, or get angry over a different opinion, even if it is offensive, or crazy to you. Let them have their opinion. Focus your energy on yourself, your energy, your values, and your opinion. Don’t let the ego win. The ego wants everyone to agree with it. The ego wants to be right. We are all different. We all have different opinions. You can’t change that. No matter how angry, or defensive you get. Their opinions only hurt you if you let it. Agree to disagree and move forward. Educate others on your opinion, and open yourself up to others. Ignore hateful opinions. You don’t need that type of energy in your life. When you focus your energy on yourself, and the people who support you. You have no time to worry about others who add no value to your life.

Dealing With Victim Mentality

This mindset holds the belief that the world, and others are against you. That one cannot change anything, so the individual does not bother to try. It creates helplessness. It creates dependency. They put the blame on others, and the world for their misfortune. One can be a victim, but one should try to eventually move forward, rather than stay stuck in the past. This mindset can leave you stuck in self-pity and blaming others, rather than searching from within to find solutions to help you improve your situation. I am not talking about victims of traumatic experiences, but rather people who make themselves victims in times of struggle.

Victim mentality keeps you a prisoner in a state of helplessness, paranoia, frustration, depression and misery, to name a few. The blame is on others, which makes it easier for the individual to sit back and do nothing. Although, others can be at fault. It isn’t helpful to put all your energy on blaming and hating others, and the world. You can’t control life situations, and you can’t control others. How exactly can that help you?

What we can use that energy on is making changes on an individual level. Focus on changing our thoughts, feelings, and actions towards the situation. Everyone will be wronged in life. Unfair crap will happen to everyone. We will all have a shot at a bad experience. No one is exempt. You can trap yourself in why me’s?, but honestly why not you? I can guarantee when you have a bad day, so our many others. The best way to cope is to accept the situation, learn, grow, and move forward. Each day will get better.

Just remember that you may perceive life as horrible, but in reality it is not all bad. Even through our struggles, there is also good in our lives. You may lose a job, but you still have a supportive family to help you out. Your car may break down, but you still got a roof over your head. You may break up with a partner, but you still have loving family and friends to lean on and talk to. We tend to blow up the negative, and downplay the positives.

It is normal to feel this way when something bad happens, and that is okay, but there is a point when you got to stop playing victim, and figure out a way to move forward, and grow on a personal level. You become stagnant when you focus your energy on changing others. It is easier to put the blame on others. It takes pressure off of us. You can’t make the world magically fit into what you would like. This attitude doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes you bitter, unproductive and miserable.

People will crap on you sometimes. People will do things that you perceive as hurtful and wrong. You may also do things that hurt others. Life isn’t black and white. There are more sides to the story, than your own. Bad things happen to good people, because bad things happen to everyone. Life is a lesson. Don’t focus your energy on being the victim. Focus on being a fighter instead. Having victim mentality takes away our accountability. It takes away our freedom of choice. It takes away our control to change.

I like to end things with a quote that fits well with this topic. I am really enjoying this book Radical Awakening by Dr.Shefali. She has such insight, and knowledge to become a truly awakened and authentic individual. I recommend picking this one up.

“When we realize that both the problem and the solution lie in ourselves, the process of change begins…Without this, even if the other person changes, we render ourselves beholden to their change. When we see ourselves as our own enslaver, we create a path towards liberation…When we release all external tethers, we unbridle our inner power and free ourselves to be unapologetically autonomous.” Dr.Shefali(Radical Awakening)

The Good and Bad

The world is full of good and bad moments. Good and bad people. Good and bad events. Wins and losses. Life and death. There is no black and white. All or nothing. The world has a balance. We can choose to focus on the positives or negatives. It is all in our hands, or minds. The world can be tumultuous, and it can be peaceful. It depends on the experience you are having at the moment. A bad day for you, can be a great day for another, and vice versa. The world can suck, but it can also be a wonderful place. There is beauty, and there is ugly.

I just wanted to put a reminder out there that life has its ups and downs. Its lows and highs. We may think all is bad or good, but in reality it is a mixture of both. Life isn’t a smooth, peaceful ride. As there is day and night. There is always light and darkness. It may be hard to see light in a cloud of darkness, but it is there. And although, it is wonderful to be bright, accept that darkness will come into your life. Be appreciative of the peaceful times, and accept the difficult times. Both experiences can be learned from. A bad experience, or horrific event can push you to only see the negative, but remember that light surrounds you. Hopefully it can seep into your life sooner, rather than later. Good and bad are all around us, which one would you rather focus on?

Quotes about Bad experience (129 quotes)