Exercises to Create Happiness

There are specific activities, suggested by Achor and others in positive psychology, which tend to make people happier and Dr. Pierson suggested picking one and committing to it daily, as a “happiness workout.”

  • Meditate for eight minutes a day, which helps rewire your brain for greater happiness, less stress and improved immune functioning.
  • Journal for two minutes about a positive experience you’ve had.
  • Look forward to something.  Make a plan for something positive.
  • Consciously do something kind for someone.  Write a positive note, email someone you care about, or do volunteer work.
  • Surround yourself with positivity.  Put up inspirational quotes, hang pictures of people you care about, or go outside for 20 minutes.
  • Exercise.  Even ten minutes of exercise daily can have a positive impact on your mood.
  • Push past your comfort zone.  The more you do something novel, the happier you are.  Experience new places, new food; take a class in something.
  • Spend money on experiences, not stuff.  Spending money on activities, especially involving others, produces positive emotions which are more meaningful and last longer than those created by buying things.
  • Exercise a “signature strength.”  When people use a skill they have, it generally lifts their mood.  Research suggests that using a character strength, such as creativity, curiosity, humor, judgment, or kindness, creates even greater happiness.
  • Express gratitude.  Write down three things for which you are grateful daily.
  • Allow yourself to be imperfect.  The happiest among us are those who know perfection is un-obtainable and who allow themselves to be “good enough.”
  • Learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings.  Negative emotions are a part of life. Learn safe ways to release them or sit with them, knowing you can stand it.  Over time, your ability to withstand day-to-day negative emotions will expand.
  • Expand your sources of support.  Connection with others is crucial to physical and emotional well-being.  Even brief encounters with others—an email, a smile, an exchange of a few words, can help both parties feel more alive and happy.
  • Practice and make it easy to do the good stuff.  As you develop new habits, you rewire the brain. Put the desired actions as close as possible to the path of least resistance, and make it harder to do the things you don’t want to do.

Morning Mindfulness Tips to Start Your Day Right

Mindfulness activities to brighten up your day

  • Meditation
  • Being Mindful of your morning routine-Immerse yourself in all the activities one does in the morning
  • Sit still and relax-try not to worry about all the things that need to be done, it will get done eventually, just take a step back, and calm the mind
  • Light some incense
  • Think positive thoughts before you walk out the door
  • Look at inspirational, positive quotes to start your day
  • Yoga
  • Journal writing

-Write down whatever comes to mind after a good night sleep

-Write down things you appreciate

-Write down positive things about yourself, your life, and your job

-Write down your goals for the day, or even the future

  • Take a walk outside, or take a couple of minutes to enjoy the view from your window
  • Read, or do an activity that may stimulate the mind
  • Look at inspirational, positive quotes to brighten your day

 

Try your best not to rush out the door in the morning. How you start your morning will reflect the rest of your day. If you are rushing. You may want to get up a bit earlier, so you have time to do these activities, and relax the mind before heading out to the stressful and busy world. It is important to start your day right.

Some Motivational Quotes

Hello! Just wanted to post some quotes to bring some positive thoughts and mindfulness into your day. Remember positive thoughts and mindfulness are the gateway to a peaceful and happy life. I really like the first quote, because we will all feel down at times, and that is okay, but you must remember to refocus your energy on positive things, so that you can get back to your life and figure out ways to make your life better. The second quote is seeing life as it is, nothing more, nothing less. Mindfulness at its best. Seeing reality will set you free. I hope you all have a good night or day!

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8 Ways to Spiral Into Negativity

Negativity can always find its way into our lives. An article by Kristen Lee Ed. D., LICSW in Psychology Today discuss 8 ways of thinking that can put us on a path to negativity. They are called “downward spiral thinking types.” It is important that we find ways to avoid these type of thought processes, so negative thoughts don’t control our lives and happiness. I will list the 8 types below.

  1. The Preemptive 911 caller- “Something happens, and you see it as a total emergency. When your amygdala is in full force, it’s likely you are only able to see red and hear alarm bells going off. You spin into a place where you see reality as being nothing but a full-on crisis. Panic sets in, and everything gets blown way out of proportion(Lee, Ed.D., 2018).” Over-blowing the severity of the situation tends to happen. We see things much worse than it really is. It is important to step back, and see the reality of the situation.
  2.  The saboteur- “Difficulty strikes, and you automatically engage in self-sabotage, taking everything personally and blaming yourself for the occurrence of events, even those over which you have no control. Your thoughts interfere with reasoning, and instead you beat yourself up incessantly, diminishing your sense of value and worth(Lee, 2018).” We are our worse enemy. Try not to put too much blame on your shoulders. Blaming-yourself, or anyone- doesn’t solve anything. This will just spiral you into a state of depression, and you don’t want that! You should lift yourself up, so it can be easier to solve the problem in your life.
  3.  The zero-shades-of-gray thinker- “When looking at a situation, you only see extremes or absolutes. You define things in black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms. Your view is that something is either this way or that, and it’s hard to see the possibility that it could also be a both/and situation(Lee,2018).” Life isn’t black and white. It is a world of grey. Always look at all point of views, and perspectives.
  4. The labeler- “You look at behavior and label it in negative terms. Even though it’s hard to deal with, you believe it is a universal defining trait versus a behavior or situation that needs modification. This trap can lead to self-labeling, as well as judging other people(Lee, 2018).” There are many layers to humans. We shouldn’t judge someone based on one situation. There are many reasons why a person does what they do, but it is easier for us to make snap judgments, which can lead to negative thoughts.
  5. The tunnel visioner- “When evaluating what’s at hand, you only zoom in on the negative details, ignoring anything that is positive and worth appreciating. When something goes wrong, you have trouble identifying the things that have also gone right. Downward-spiraling tunnel vision focuses on deficits and injuries rather than lessons and strengths(Lee, 2018).” It is much easier to focus on the negative, than the positive. I struggle with that myself. It is hard, but we need to find ways to see the positive for our own well-being and happiness.
  6.  The broad brusher- “You paint a very broad picture, make loose connections between past or present instances, and create sweeping over-generalizations to describe what’s at hand. You use phrases like “I never,” “This always,” and “Everyone” to make big assertions of what you see happening(Lee, 2018).” Generalizing is never a good idea. When you say things like ‘I never,’ or ‘ This always.’ I am pretty sure that isn’t accurate. I am sure it never, or always happens. We just overlook the times it worked.
  7. The superhero- “Your cape is always on, working hard to never let anyone down. You pride yourself on doing all and being all, at all costs. You “should” and “must” yourself to the nth degree, but when something goes wrong, you come crashing down, and your self-esteem goes plummeting. When you can’t save the world, you experience extreme disappointment(Lee, 2018).” Perfection is the goal, but an inaccurate way of thinking of oneself. You are not perfect. No one is perfect. Accept your flaws and weaknesses. Accepting you’re not perfect will improve your self-esteem, self-worth, and happiness.
  8. The imposter- “Because you constantly engage in social comparison, you magnify the positives you see in everyone else, but downplay your own strengths and talents. You think you’re going to be found out, and that you really don’t belong at the level where you find yourself. You worry that people will soon see through your façade and come to their senses on the trust they’ve placed in you(Lee, 2018).” We all compare ourselves to others, but doing this leads to negative thoughts about ourselves. We forget to realize that the people we compare ourselves to also have their own struggles and problems. No one has the perfect life. It may seem that way, but it is a facade. The important thing is to focus on the positive things in your life, not in others. We all have positive things in our lives. You just have to try not to overlook them.

We all have done things on the list. It is hard to escape these thoughts. There are many ways to spiral into negativity. It is important that we find ways to avoid these downward spiral thinking types, so that we can live a happy and fulfilling life. Positive thinking is key.

Lee Ed, D., K. (2018, Mar 10). The Amazing Power of The Upward Spiral. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rethink-your-way-the-good-life/201803/the-amazing-power-the-upward-spiral

Find Strength in Positive Thinking

Getting caught up in the negatives can be quite easy. I have recently had some negative thoughts about things. Life is tough, and a struggle. It is something we must accept.

I decided to pull away from my negative thoughts, and start looking at the positives. It really does take strength to focus your mindset on the positives in life. It is there, but you have to look for it. When I go for my walks, and get immersed in nature, and look around. I can see the beauty in this world, or when I listen to music, or think about all the achievements I have made in my life. I think about all the things I have overcome, even when I thought I couldn’t do it.

The thing is, positive thoughts don’t come to you as easily as negative thoughts do. It may be more difficult to focus on the positive, and find happiness, but I choose the positive and happiness path, over the negative and miserable path. You have the choice, be sad, or be happy.

Just remember when you are caught up in sadness and negativity nothing productive happens. That causes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Things are bad, because nothing is getting done. Change must happen, but that can only be done with a positive mindset.bryant-mcgill-your-struggle-strength

 

Coping With Rejection

No one likes to be rejected, but there are some who can cope with it, and others who have difficulty handling rejection. This type of fear of rejection can cause difficulty in relationships, depression, negative self-talk causing a web of internal attributions to the rejection. Some perceive rejection as something being wrong with them, they perceive it as not being lovable, acceptable, or respected. A person with a fear of rejection may have the “clinical syndrome called Rejection Sensitivity (RS) that can undermine your well-being. To you, being refused in love, career, or friendship means something is wrong with you. You have difficulty separating out self-worth and lovability from having a desire or need unreturned. In your mind, if you were only better looking, more agreeable, powerful, wittier, smarter, or thinner, you would have what you want”(Psychology in everyday life). 

Some see rejection as something is wrong with them. They don’t look at things on an external level. I believe having self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love is an important thing to have to be able to combat the fear of rejection. If you accept oneself and know your worth. One wouldn’t perceive rejection as something’s wrong with them. Sometimes things just don’t work out, or maybe their isn’t much chemistry to the relationship, or maybe there is something about you they aren’t fond of, but that doesn’t mean you are unlovable, unattractive, or unappealing. One person should not validate your worth. Just a reminder, not everyone will like you, and you will not like everyone. Sometimes people just don’t click. Trying to please someone, or make them happy just for you to be liked is a recipe for disaster, and can lead to unhappiness. The thing is, one cannot control how others think of you, but one can control of how you feel and think about oneself, and that is most important. If you know your worth. You won’t fear rejection, or perceive it as something’s wrong with you. The same thing goes for your career life. You may not get the promotion, or a job offer, or one may not like your work. You should not feel down about the situation. One must know that you are doing your best, and if one needs to improve, then it is a good way to challenge yourself. You didn’t get that job, then there will be another job willing to see your worth. Rejection is not the end. There are plenty of jobs and people out there. Being rejected by one job, or person should not destroy your self-worth, and if rejection happens many times. It may be time to make changes to oneself, or one’s life. One should always be willing to improve and challenge oneself.

Now I know saying this is easier said and done. And there are people who has had their worth beaten and broken. It can be from abuse, bullying, etc. This cultivates rejection sensitivity. Hopefully people with rejection sensitivity see a therapist, or get help from someone  who can build up their self-worth and self-acceptance, so they no longer fear rejection.

In the article I read, they mentioned three things that can help you cope with rejection that can be helpful as well.

1.Rejection is state of meaning. It’s true, you can be denied by a person or a situation. But, you decide what rejection means to you, by the way you explain the situation to yourself. Many of you tell me that you are “destroyed” and “can’t go on living” because your affection was unreturned or you didn’t get into the school or job of choice. When you assign life and death meaning to being refused, you have nowhere to go but broken and down.

2.Rejection is a state of bodyResearch shows that a nervous system that is braced on threat is also fixed on perceiving rejection. You perceive rejection like a ferocious tiger was running toward you. But, instead of fighting the situation you fear, you have learned to avoid people and situations that put you at risk of rejection. You may feel safe in the short-term. But, in the long-term, you are avoiding the exact experiences that you need to reduce your fear and grow in the process (Science Daily, Pain Sensitivity and Social Rejection).

3.Rejection informs you as to what you need to grow. Everything that happens to you is grist for personal development, including rejecting experiences. Perhaps, the toughest and also best learning experiences are those in which needs and desires are frustrated. If everything went your way, you’d have little to make you stop and think about what you really need to learn and grow. What a shallow person you’d be, indeed.

Source:http://www.psychologyineverydaylife.net/2013/03/17/rejection-sensitivity-three-ways-to-toughen-up/

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Focus on What we Have, Not What we Lack

There are times when we will be dissatisfied with our life. This may allow negative thoughts and sadness to develop. The thing is we can not allow those negative thoughts to consume us.

When we are dissatisfied with life, it is usually specific things we are not happy with. Is everything in your life really bad? Think about it? I am pretty sure it is not, but we tend to only put our focus on the bad things. What you should do is try to see the good things that are going on in your life, really look? It is there, you just have to focus your energy away from the bad things, and find the good things. Once you find those things, appreciate and embrace those positive things you do have.

Now lets talk about the things that are not going right. Dwelling on the things that aren’t going right will just lead to depression and sadness. That is not the route you will like to take. The best thing you can do is be proactive, figure out ways to change the things, and situations you don’t like. Also, don’t expect quick results. It may take time to achieve what you want. The important thing is to apply yourself to make that change. Feeling sorry for yourself is easy, but life is about progress, so we must work to improve ourselves.

I truly believe we as humans will never be truly satisfied with our lives. No matter how successful or rich you are. There will always be something that is lacking in our lives. What we have may be something someone else wants, and vice versa. We are all a work in progress, so don’t feel down if everything isn’t how you expect it to be.

Everyone has their struggles. No one has the perfect life. The truth is we will always be lacking in a certain area, so it is best to focus your energy on the things you do have, and the things you can do. Also, you can always work on improving what you are lacking. Not having all the things you want, doesn’t mean your life is bad. It just means you have something to work on.

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