Rise From Becoming Defeated

“Today you may feel bone-tired, like you have been working for countless years, only to see your efforts come to nothing. You struggle with debt, poor health, family troubles, and nothing ever seems to improve. At times like this, you can best practice detachment, as you see clearly the world is full of troubles. As you release your grip on worldly bonds, you see the divine more clearly….”-David Dillard Wright, PHD

I really like this quote. It is quite inspiring. It is very hard for people to detach themselves from the world, but it is needed in times like these. Rather than continuing to wallow in your sorrow state. It is best to do something that can keep you away from the thoughts, and feelings that can pull you in to a world of negativity, sadness, or self-hatred.

Detachment is one way to rise above defeat. Now detachment isn’t about avoiding your struggles. It is about seeing your thoughts, and feelings objectively. It is about realizing that attaching happiness to life situations, people, work, achievements, objects, goals, expectations are not what brings true happiness. These things can make you happy, but it won’t complete you, or bring true happiness.

A person becomes defeated, because the individual believes things aren’t the way it should be, or used to be. Life isn’t as perfect as it should be. Life is unfair. An individual should learn to rise from these attaching thoughts, and let their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences flow through them. Try not to get stuck as it can lead to a downward spiral.

Detachment is difficult for us, as humans it is an innate feature to attach. I struggle with this as well. I am not saying you can’t connect with anything, but being able to separate yourself can lead you to a more peaceful, happier life.

Source:A Mindfulness Day

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Image result for detachment mindfulness

 

 

How to Cope in an Anxious and Depressed World

Stress and Depression are two of the most common mental disorders. They both hinder our ability to live normal lives. Sometimes the two can even occur together. Many people find it difficult to distinguish between the two.

Mild anxiety is quite normal. You may get it before a job interview, a performance, a test, or presentation. Sometimes stress can be good. This is called Eustress. This stress can help you with motivation and performance. It keeps you sharp. But stress has a limit, and if it goes over that limit it can hinder your ability to do things. This is when one experiences anxiety. Anxiety is a persistent, exaggerated fear of a situation or event. This can interfere with your daily routine.

Depression usually occurs from loss, or hopelessness. Hope and seeing the brighter side of things keeps us going, but if one losses those thoughts it can lead to low moods and persistent sadness. Depression is known to occur in more women than men. Men tend to show more anger and frustration, while women show more worthlessness and guilt. Children and teenagers also experience depression. Children may become depressed due to separation from parents when they start school, or fear of parents dying. This may manifest as school refusal. Depressed teenagers can become sulky, irritable, and get in trouble in school.

Anxiety focuses more on future events, while Depression tends to stem from past events. They are both disabling disorders, as all disorders are. This is why Mindfulness and having a positive mindset is important. I do believe these two things can help reduce these two disorder from recurring. Having this mindset has reduced my anxiety, and my depression is close to non-existent. Although, a recent loss made me a bit sad, and I did have lots of negative thoughts. I was able to overcome the sadness in a couple of days. Depression tends to occur when one has persistent low moods for more than two weeks. Now you may still get anxious and depressed. These things are unavoidable, but these approaches can help you cope with a troubling situation better. And as I mentioned, it can decrease the likelihood of getting anxious or depressed. Just use everyday to try to mindfully see what you are doing, try to mindfully listen to what you hear, including music you listen to, try to mindfully see what is around you. When I say mindfully, it mean awareness of the moment you are in without judgment, no negative or positive thoughts. Just see the moment as it is. Also, go into everyday with a positive mindset. Even one positive thought can do wonders. You got to start somewhere. I think these things can help calm your mind and cultivate happiness and peace in an unpredictable and unstable world we live in.

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Meditation to Calm the Busy Mind

All of us have moments, or days where we have a lot on our mind, and we can’t stop stressing, and worrying about the problem, or situation at hand. I had this happen to me yesterday. My mind was racing with many thoughts, mostly negative, that is where the anxiety and stress stem from.

I tried to be mindful, and focus on the moment, but that wasn’t helpful unfortunately. After it was getting too much. I decided to try to meditate, since that always helps me calm down. And like always it did wonders for my state of mind. After twenty minutes of meditation I was no longer stressing about the problem I had. It really is a useful tool to use.

There is no need for drugs, or alcohol to help ease the tension, just try meditation! I think the trouble people have is staying in that meditative state for as long as twenty minutes, or whatever is needed. At first, your mind will be racing with thoughts. It doesn’t just go away that easily, but you got to push through it.

Continue breathing in and out, try to visualize yourself somewhere that is peaceful for you. I try seeing myself sitting, or walking in nature, or on a beach. Your thoughts will consume you at first, and this is why people give up, because they think it isn’t working, but it doesn’t work that quickly. Now the time may be different for some people. It may be longer for beginners.

Now I was skeptical is wasn’t going to work yesterday. I tried going through all the things I was stressing about, one by one, like I usually do, and trying to figure out a solution, but the anxiety couldn’t let me think. That is the problem with anxiety. You can not think clearly, while you are anxious. Negative thoughts consume your mind.

Thankfully after 20 minutes of breathing in and out, visualizing a peaceful place and running through all my worries, it just all stopped. My mind calmed down. It is quite an amazing experience, and I am always surprised how relaxed and at peace I am afterwards.

Now that my mind was calm I was finally able to come to conclusions to the problems I was facing. It is amazing how much clarity you get when your mind is calm and relaxed. Anxiety, depression, drugs, alcohol all cloud your mind, but using meditation can truly help clear your mind.

It guides you to see the reality of the situation without negativity, or even positive thoughts. You see things for what it is, and that helps you figure out what you can do. We usually get anxious when we don’t know what the future holds, but meditation can help clear things up for you.

Mindfulness and Positive thoughts are helpful to reduce anxiety and depression, but I don’t think it is truly helpful when you are in a state of anxiety and depression. I think meditation can be more helpful, and can give you insight to a mind filled with negativity, and irrational thoughts.

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Mindfulness Exercises

Mindfulness is about being aware of the moment without judgement. Just taking in all the sights, sounds, smells, thoughts etc, of the moment. I thought I would write down some mindfulness exercises that may be helpful to reduce the stress in your life. Mindfulness has been known to help reduce anxiety. It has definitely decreased my anxiety, so it may be helpful for you. As I mentioned when you are focused on the present. You have no time to worry about the past, or future to cause anxiety. Mindfulness takes practice and patience. It isn’t easy to master, but with persistence and motivation it can be done. I don’t use all the exercises, because some don’t interest me. You should do whichever one suits you, or interest you. It is about what is right for you. Here are some exercises.

Body Scan-The idea is to pay attention to your body, become aware of your body. You can lie down, or sit down, whichever way feels comfortable to you. You will then go through each part of your body, putting it into focus. You can start from head to toe, or vice versa, or any where. You will then pay attention to the sensations of that body part- pain, comfort, tightness, or any feeling at all. There is no right or wrong answer, just go with what you are feeling. You will do that with each body part you focus on. It s about becoming aware of the sensations of your body. This can take up to 20-30 minutes. But it is best to do it as long as you feel the need to. I actually have never tried this technique, but this technique comes up a lot in the suggestions for practicing mindfulness. Not sure this one suits me, but if this interest you, go give it a try. Whatever way to keep you in the present moment.

Mindful Eating/ Drinking–I just put these two together, because they fit together. This exercise is about being aware of what you are eating and drinking. Try to focus on what you are eating and drinking. I always make the mistake of eating without really taking in the taste of the food, really savoring the food at the moment. I am busy focusing on something else. I am sure lots of people do that. You can be in the present by slowly eating or drinking. Taking in the smell, taste, texture. How it feels in your mouth or throat. What are your thoughts on what you are eating, or drinking. Is it good, bad, need more flavor, too cold, too bitter etc,? Really taking it in your food or drink. I admit I rarely do this one. I am usually watching something, skimming through social media, or researching something while I am eating or drinking. I wouldn’t mind trying this one. If you like to try to give your food a little more mindfulness, go ahead and try this one.

Mindful Observation/ Walking- This exercise is all about paying attention to your surroundings. We always like to keep moving, going from place to place, but we rarely take the time to see what is around us. This exercise teaches you to pay attention to what is around you. It can be while you are at home, working, walking to your car, sitting in your car in traffic. Try to take a moment to focus on your surroundings. what do you see? Do you like, or not like what you see? How does these things make you feel? Maybe you’ll discover something new, or see something in a different perspective. I always try to look up at the clouds whenever I am sitting in traffic to keep my mind off of the traffic, so I don’t get frustrated that I am not moving. It makes the traffic much more tolerable. Instead of worrying about getting to your next destination. You can focus on what is in front of you. This can alleviate the tension you are feeling. You can also try going for a walk in nature, or the city, or anywhere you like, and take in all the sights, sounds and smells while you are walking. I always try to take walk in nature, and just immerse myself in the sights and sounds. I also like to go near the water, and just watch and hear the water flow. It is very peaceful. Try to take the time to enjoy what is around you at the moment. You may like what you see.

Mindful Immersion-This exercise is about finding contentment in the moment. This activity can be helpful for times when you are rushing to get things done. I find this exercise helpful when I am out shopping. I hate shopping, and I want it done and over with, so I try to rush and stress myself out in the process, because my thoughts are on getting home. I have learned that I have to center myself to the moment while I am shopping. I try not to rush myself. I just focus on what I am doing. I try to walk through the store at a slower pace. I put my focus on what I am buying. I may even look around at the other people shopping. I think to myself I will get home eventually. No matter what this has to get done, so why not make it more bearable? I must focus on what I am doing now, and try to enjoy it as much as I can. This helps me a lot. I find myself not stressing about shopping as much. Although, I still don’t like it, but it helps one tolerate an uncomfortable situation. So whatever situation you don’t like, don’t try to rush out of it, but try living in the moment. You may discover things about yourself and the situation when you are more aware of the moment. You gain a new perspective. The stress comes from wanting to get things done, but they will get done, so it is better to focus on the moment, so you have no worries.

Mindful Meditation-This exercise is not easy. Many people find meditation difficult. It is hard to sit there, and allow your thoughts to flow through you. Sometimes it is hard for people to keep going, because their thoughts overwhelm them. Yes, they can get overwhelming. A way to not allow your thoughts to overwhelm you is to confront each thought. Meditation isn’t a way to push away your thoughts. It is a way to understand and accept your thoughts. What I do is see each thought as a wave, or a river. I put the thought out there. I ruminate over it. I try to figure out if there is a solution, if there is, I wash it away like a wave, or throw it into the river and let it flow. If there isn’t a solution. I do the same thing. I don’t try to over-think the problem. If it can’t be fixed, there is nothing more I can do. The problem is people continue to think about the problem, instead of washing it a way. First, put the problem to the surface, then try to find a solution, or become aware there isn’t one, and then let it go. You can use another technique. I sometimes put myself in a bubble, and have thoughts bouncing off the bubble, not letting them get in. It is up to you what you want to do. You can also do simple breathing exercises. This is how you can start m. Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Just continue doing this for a couple of minutes. Visualizing helps me more, but I usually start out with the breathing exercise. You can also visualize a place that you like, or find peaceful as well. Meditation, once I get through all the negative thoughts, really puts me in a peaceful place, but one has to get through all the thoughts, and that is the hard part. You can sit or lay down. Do whatever feels comfortable to you, but not too comfortable where you fall asleep. You can start by doing it for 5 minutes. I usually do it for 20 minutes. It is all up to you how long you want to meditate for.

I hope one of these exercises resonated with you, if not, that is okay too. Mindfulness isn’t for everyone, but if you are willing to try one of these. It may help make your days a little less stressful.

Embracing Sadness

I know I spoken about having a positive mindset, and being happy. We should definitely strive to be happy. That doesn’t mean we are not allowed to be sad. Sadness is something we can not control.  There will be times when we will get sad. We should not try to avoid, or push away our feelings of sadness. We should learn to embrace sadness. When you embrace sadness. You can learn and accept your feelings of sadness. Using defense mechanisms such as, drugs, alcohol, denial etc., does not get to the root of why you are sad, but learning to embrace your sadness will help you discover why you are upset, and that will help you come up with solutions to help you get over your sadness. It is also okay to cry, and vent to others as well. Do not keep your feelings in. It is not good for you mentally, or physically. Even if you don’t want to vent to others, or don’t have others to vent to, try to use another outlet to let your thoughts out, like a journal, or blog. Speaking to a therapist would be another option. Also, to the people who don’t have people to talk to. There are plenty of forums, or support groups to join that can be an outlet for you. You can also let your thoughts out in an artistic way-writing, composing music, poems, drawings, photography etc. Just think about how much better you feel when you are able to let your thoughts and feelings out. It is very therapeutic. If you feel the need to cry, then go ahead. Do not feel ashame to do so.

We as a society only like to embrace the bright side, the light. We want to run away from the darkness. We should realize that in the dark there are things to discover and learn that can make us stronger. Take in the light and the dark, the yin and the yang. Sadness can lead to depression, but that is only when one tries to avoid, and push away the sad emotions. Remember embrace, learn, and accept. This mindset can lead you to the happiness we all strive for, but while you wait, don’t be afraid to be sad, cry, or get upset. Do not listen to anyone who says ‘don’t be sad,’ or ‘get over it.’ You have every right to be sad. It is perfectly fine to be sad. Learn to embrace both happiness and sadness. There is always a need for balance.

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Mindfulness

What is it, and why is it so important to practice it? Mindfulness has the capability to reduce anxiety and depression. It can enhance memory and performance. By reducing stress and depression. It can help you become healthier physically. So what is it?

Mindfulness is something we all can do. It is the ability to focus on the present moment. Depression stems from focusing on the past, while anxiety stems from focusing on the future. There is a way to not put your focus on either aspect to cause these emotions, and that is having a mindful approach.

We must learn to center ourselves to the moment we are living right now. Focus on what we are experiencing at the moment. What we see, hear, smell, taste, feel or think at the moment. What am I feeling now, am I content, happy, sad? Focusing on the present moment is how we live. This is the moment we are truly living.

Our experiences in the moment is what creates our lives. Unfortunately 47% of the time, we are not living in the moment, our minds wander. That means we are only truly living a bit more than half the time.

Another good thing about living in the moment is that it is the only time you can make a change. You have power over the present, things can get done during that time. If you don’t like your situation, or you want to do something else. The present moment is your time to do it.

You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it, and you can’t control the future, but you can do things in the present to help make your future better. Taking this approach isn’t easy, but inner peace and happiness are worth it, and you gain strength and power by being able to be mindful.

It is hard for me at times to stay focus on the present. It is natural for our minds to wander, but we have to try our best to stay focused. It only benefits us, so why not try it!?

You can start by trying to focus on the present for a minute or two, just so you can get that awareness. And then try to improve on that. It will take time, but as long as you are making the effort. It will do wanders for you.

If you are driving and there is traffic, try looking at your surroundings. I love clouds, so I tend to look at the sky. Same thing for if you are walking, look at the sky, look at the nature, or buildings, or the people, or listen to the sounds. Focus on the smells, or the sounds you hear.

There are practices like body scanning, where you focus on different parts of your body from head to toe. This can take from 3-30 minutes. However long you can do it. There is also mindful eating and drinking, where you pay attention to the sensations of eating and drinking. The smell, the taste, the texture etc. There is also meditation, which is very helpful for me. It is a way to allow your thoughts to flow through you, and be at peace with your situation. I will go into more detail of that practice in a future post. Too much to put on this post.

Each practice depends on you, whatever can help you focus on the present. I may do a post of all the mindful practices in more detail, so you can do whichever one that helps. Being in the present also help us learn more about ourselves, who we are, why are we here, what should I do? You ask all these questions in the present that can help build your character.

Mindfulness is a wonderful technique once you get the hang of it, but it takes practice and time. You will have to be motivated to do this practice, but if you do. It will change your life for the better.

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Psychology of Mindfulness Introduction

I have just recently finished my last class for my BA in Psychology. I contemplated what I should do once I graduate. I wondered if there would be any jobs out there. I would like to continue my education in the future, so I can become a professional counselor, but for now I thought of doing something before I get to that chapter. While going through my journal. I stumbled across an idea to start a Psychology blog. I gained a lot of knowledge in Psychology, while working towards my degree, so I thought I share it with others. I thought this would be a good way to do so. Psychology and Mindfulness are two things I am passionate about, so I thought I would combine those two topics in this blog. Mindfulness has reduced my anxiety and depression-my depression is non existent at this point. There have been studies that has shown Mindfulness reduces anxiety and depression, so that makes complete sense. I would love to discuss topics of Mindfulness, and how it can help you. Mindfulness is something I like to incorporate in my practice in the future. I would also like to give advice on different topics-self-worth, self-love, positivism, life struggles, grief etc. I would also like to discuss topics, theories and disorders in Psychology. I would mainly focus on depressive and anxiety disorders, but will discuss others as well. My main focus is on depression and anxiety, since that is prevalent in all humans. And mindfulness is a technique that is useful for these emotions. I would like to be someone you can feel comfortable talking to in an non-judgmental, and open environment. Everyone wants to be heard and understood. We live in a world where people lack empathy and compassion, especially when it comes to mental health. Carl Rogers believed Empathy and positive-regard are important tools to counseling someone, and I totally agree. It is so easy to judge someone, which is why most people do it, but what should be done is to try to understand the individual through their perspective. That is what I would like to do. I always feel much better letting my thoughts, and feelings out. It think it is very therapeutic. We should not keep anything in, because those bottled up feelings can effect your body negatively. I just like to help others to grow, evolve, and have a healthier mindset and lifestyle. We all deserve that! I hope I will be able to help and put things in perspective for you. This is why I love Psychology.e06a7537b6d9e01ba9cae7a194ea1b2d--family-psychology-psychology-quotes