Getting Through the Storm

There will be difficult times in your life. Times when it is hard to see the good and be positive. As much as I love positive vibes. We can’t have that mindset all the times. Sometimes situations just suck, but being able to bare through, and accept the situation takes a good mindset and strength. It is easy to fall into the negativity trap, and it will seep through. It is normal. Are minds are set to see the negative. That is fine to allow some negative thoughts in. It is only a problem for our well-being when it is consumed too much.

I had a tough week at work. It was a struggle to remain positive. I decided to just accept what is, and tried to keep thinking that the weekend will come soon, and I can relax again and recharge. I didn’t want to consume myself with too much negativity, so I tried some things to calm my mind and find some inner peace.

Getting up in the morning was tough, but once I was up. I tried some meditation to calm my thoughts for the upcoming work day. I also did some journaling to get my thoughts out and face my emotions. I sometimes just sat in my living room. I really enjoy just sitting in my living room. i like the space and peace of it. I just sat there immersing myself in the moment, in the scenery, and my surroundings. Just sifting through my thoughts and emotions. I also spent some time watching Kpop content, although I don’t like to consume myself with it too much. There are times when I watch it to bring me joy. The content brings me happiness and laughter, and at times like these you need to find the little things that bring a smile to your face.

Another thing you can do to get through it is talk to others. I like venting my thoughts and feeling to my coworkers who are in the same boat as me. The empathy and understanding comes along way to healing. There is something very therapeutic about talking to others and having someone empathize with your words and feelings. Now remember venting is healthy, but constant complaining can get be a bit much and create negativity in your life and others. Complaining won’t get you anywhere. Let your thoughts and feelings out, get some relief, and then move forward. You got to find peace from within yourself.

I took a nice walk this Saturday, which was also very calming and joyful for me. I also spent time with family communicating and connecting which was nice. That is also a good way to get your spirits up. I am now enjoying a nice relaxing day of productive writing. I can use this day to relax and recharge myself before the storm hits again in the new work week.

I accept that work will be challenging, until we get more people. Long days, lots of work. It is what it is. If I want change, I can make changes. If I don’t want to make physical changes, than I must try to change my mindset. There will be times when you are unhappy, annoyed, angry, frustrated. I must remind myself that it is okay to feel these emotions, but I must remember to take a step back, take deep breaths, and let things flow. Embrace the little joys and times of peace.The storm will pass eventually. You just got to build strength to take in these difficult times. See some positive. I at least get the weekend to relax and enjoy the things I like to do. I will get through this. You will get through this. Just keep moving forward.

Things you can do to help get through the storm:

  • Journal
  • Take nature walks
  • Take deep breaths
  • Face thoughts and emotions
  • Connect with others
  • Communicate with others
  • Find little joys
  • Find laughter
  • Create something
  • Make changes
  • Adapt
  • Accept

You Have Power(Little Reminder)

Just here to send you a reminder that when it comes to your influences, daily habits and decisions. It is up to you what you will do with those things. I like to remind you that you are in control of those aspects of your life. Others can’t make decisions for you. Others cant make you do things you don’t want to. It may be easier to blame the world and others, but it doesn’t help solve anything. Others and the world may make things difficult at times, but in the end it is up to you how you handle those situations. Things aren’t hopeless. You can make things happen. You can make changes.

Give yourself the power. Give yourself strength. If you make good decisions. You can pat yourself on the back and be proud. If not, you can accept the mistake(no self-blaming), learn and keep moving. No one is perfect. It will happen. At least the mistake came from you and not others influences. I just want to remind you that no one has power over you, unless you allow them. Building a healthy mindset and foundation. Also self-love and acceptance can help you become aware of your power, and give you the ability to use it wisely.

Understanding Your Emotions

How I am feeling? This is something you should try to ask yourself as often as you can. Asking this question is a great tool to become more aware and understanding of your emotions. Not being able to be mindful of your emotions can create confusion, frustration and negativity. The ability to immerse ourselves in our emotions can allow us to understand the why of the feeling. This can then help you work through and resolve the emotions, and this can allow you to move on.

We live in a society that has taught us to push away feeling that creates discomfort. That shouldn’t be the case. We should learn to embrace both types of emotions. Now emotions aren’t innately good or bad, positive or negative. We associate these good or bad qualities to these emotions with how they make us feel, it is perceived. Good/positive emotions make us feel comfortable, at ease. Bad/negative emotions gives us discomfort,they makes us feel like crap. Both emotions should be embraced by us. The emotions that we perceive as good/positive bring us peace, joy and happiness. The emotions that bring discomfort teach us lessons, challenges us, and help us evolve. Both are needed.

Emotions are part of being human. They are unavoidable. They are part of we are. This is why it is important to check in with yourself and see how you are feeling. Be mindful of them and try not to push them aside. Immerse in it, understand it. Accept it part of your life. Avoiding the feeling will just exacerbate it, but actually feeling it will give it less power, and gives you the chance to resolve why you felt the way you did. Feeling it creates clarity and peace of mind.

Some ways to help you get in tune with your emotions are:

  • Journaling
  • Taking mindful breaks
  • Take deep breaths when you are feeling an emotion that creates discomfort
  • Daily or weekly emotion check in logs

Learning the why’s of your emotions can help you resolve the thoughts, feelings and behaviors one gets from these emotions. It allows one to cope with challenges and struggles much better. It can help you bounce back from negative emotions much faster. Emotions come and go. They are not you. They do not define you. Just ride the wave of emotions, the good, the bad, and the in between. Allow it to flow through you and keep moving forward. The only way you can do this is by understanding and accepting the emotion. If you don’t understand at the moment, that is okay, it will come eventually. So how am I feeling? Am I…

Positive/Good emotions:

  • Excited
  • Energized
  • Joyful
  • Happy
  • Grateful
  • Appreciative
  • Confident
  • Motivated
  • Inspired
  • Refreshed

Negative/Bad emotions:

  • Tense
  • Lethargic
  • Sad
  • Angry
  • Anxious
  • Somber
  • Worried
  • Guilty
  • Lonely
  • Fear

Neutral emotions

  • Content
  • Satisfied
  • Relaxed
  • Nonchalant
  • Tired

What are you feeling? There are many emotions to feel. Getting in touch with all the emotions one feels. Helps us to understand ourselves much more. Which ones do I feel more? Why do I feel this emotion? Do I feel more positive or negative ones? Why does it cause me discomfort? How can I cope? Checking in with your emotions more often can help you answer these questions and more. Don’t be afraid of your emotions. They are there to guide you, and to help you understand yourself and the world around you.

Finding Your Passion/Finding a Job you Enjoy

I wanted to put these two topics together, because they seem to go hand in hand. We believe finding our passion in a career is the ultimate goal of finding a job you enjoy. I got to say, from my experience and from my research on this topic that isn’t the case. It is very rare to have a career in something you are passionate about. It takes a lot of factors for it to happen. Your drive, motivation, willingness to get out of comfort zone, environment, connections, personality, among other things. There is no one shoe fits all factor when it comes to finding your passion and having a career of that passion. Many factors must come together for one to have a career they are passionate about.

Things in life aren’t always black and white. You can be able to practice your passion and still find a job you enjoy. You don’t necessarily need to build a career from your passion. It is fun just to do it in your spare time. It may be even more enjoyable to do it freely, rather than doing it for work. Time constraints, rules, pressure from others can make your passion less enjoyable in a work environment.

For many, it is difficult finding what they are passionate about. Some people just don’t know. It is totally okay not to know. People tend to feel guilt and shame, because they don’t have anything they are passionate about. You can just have a job you enjoy, without feeling any passion about it. I enjoy my job, but I am not particularly passionate about it. The thing is, I still incorporate my passion in my life. I do what I am passionate about in my free time. Hopefully I’ll be able to build a business from it, but for now I appreciate the opportunity to enjoy my passion when I can.

It isn’t a great feeling dreading coming to work. We are at work most of the time, so it is imperative for your mental well-being to find a job you enjoy. If we enjoy our work, than we are able to enjoy our lives much more, and live more positively, since work fills up most of our lives. I like to write a list of things to look into when searching for a job that can spark joy, or at least make the work week more bearable. I will say searching for a career with your passion is very difficult and can be disappointing when it doesn’t happen, so these other things may be better to look into. I am not saying you shouldn’t find a job you are passionate about, but it shouldn’t be an ultimate goal.

  • Get out of safety Zone-“Do you want to expand or constrict?’ “You are not going to be stuck. You are stuck now.” I heard these quotes from a TED Talk I watched. I really liked them. These quotes are good reminders that staying safe and comfortable isn’t always best for our happiness and growth. Doing something that challenges oneself can be exciting and rewarding. But make sure it isn’t too challenging. That creates stress. A nice balance.
  • Variety– Trying different types of jobs can easily show you what you like and what you don’t. You may be surprised what you actually enjoy doing. This can give you the opportunity to find a job that you like and enjoy.
  • Work Environment Do you like office jobs?, do you like moving around?, do you like your own space? Do you like it to be more quiet? The environment can play a role in what you like about a job. I really like my job, because I get to move around. I am a very active person, so the environment suits my personality making the job more enjoyable.
  • Autonomy-Are you the type who likes to be free and do their own thing? It would be good to look for a job that allows you this freedom. If a place is too controlling and restrictive that can be a downer for an independent individual.
  • Skills-Look for something that enhances and incorporates your skills. Find what your skills are and search for a job that correlates with those skills.
  • Meaning/Value-Does the job add value. Having a meaningful job can be a great way to enjoy what you are doing.
  • Stress-A stressful job can make anyone miserable. The best thing to do is to find a job that reduces the amount of stress on oneself. Stress at a job is normal, but overwhelming stress can be detrimental, especially if there are no benefits to it. Some jobs are stressful that lead to rewards and benefits, but if the stress leads nowhere, than that can be problematic for the individuals well-being.

These last two are for people who have difficulty leaving the job that makes you feel stuck and miserable. It is hard for some to leave the financial stability and comfort of a job.

  • Perspective– See the job from a different point of view, find some good points about it, maybe there is something to it that you didn’t look at. Find some ways to bring joy and excitement to the job if you find it dull and boring. Figuring out ways to step out of the misery, instead of immersing in it.
  • Acceptance-Sometimes we have a job we don’t like. Not everyone will like the job they have. It is what it is. The job puts food on the table, gives you a home, gives you comfort. It does have its benefits. Accepting can be comforting, instead of fighting your disdain for the job. These two options are helpful and comforting, but finding another job would probably be best for your happiness and satisfaction in the long run. Change is hard, harder for some, but it can happen.

Passion for something is great, but it is also interchangeable. It evolves. I was once passionate about being a singer, but I no longer have that passion. This is why it isn’t always best to focus on what makes you passionate when choosing a career. Maybe some people prefer doing things they are passionate about in their free time, rather than the confines of having to do it on a schedule and have strict rules when it comes to their passion. Sometimes it is just hard to find a job with the thing you are passionate about. That is perfectly fine if you can’t find a job that incorporates your passion.

It is important not to beat yourself up for not finding a passion in life, or for not having a career that incorporates one’s passion. Be kind to yourself and realize that everyone’s journey is different. Not everyone know’s what they want to do in life. Having a passion doesn’t define your life. We as humans love to know everything. We are uncomfortable with the unknown/uncertain. It is best for your peace of mind to accept what is and move forward, because forcing yourself to find your passion creates negativity and despair. The problem is we compare ourselves to others who have passion, and have careers related to that passion. The thing is our journey is always different and we all have different paths. Focusing your energy on yourself and your progress is what is important. Remember passion and a career won’t always go together. Find a job that suits your interests, skills, schedule and personality can go along way.

Finding Peace, Joy & Happiness

These days it can be hard to find the good in life. The media is consumed with negativity at the moment. This is why it is important to step away and take time to be mindful. I went for a lovely walk at a park. The scenery was beautiful. It made me see the beauty and good of this world. The Earth is quite beautiful if you really look at it. Moments like these bring peace, joy and happiness. Find those moments that bring you these things. Our state of mind is very important. We must remember to remain at peace, so we can continue to live the best way we can. I always find clarity, inspiration and meaning through my walks. Nature is truly a beautiful thing.

Ways of Creating and Avoiding Negativity

It is easy to fall into the trap of negativity these days, so much is going on that can cultivate negative feelings, emotions and behaviors. We must remember that we have to take care of our minds and bodies. A stress or negative mind and body can’t solve anything or make a change. Taking care of your mental health is important. So being aware of what cultivates negativity and how it can be avoided is a good step towards a more content and peaceful life.

Negative thoughts, feelings and emotions are ubiquitous, but there are ways you can avoid having them rule your life. There are triggers that can cultivate a negative mindset and lifestyle. I wanted to list a couple of things that promote a negative mindset/lifestyle. The best thing for your well-being is to steer clear of these things as much as possible. I just want you to be aware of the things that create a negative world, so that you can figure out ways to avoid falling into this trap. You may not be able to control negativity all the time, but you can learn to alleviate these negative thoughts/behaviors/habits most of the time if one becomes more aware of these habits.

Ways that create negativity:

Judging looking down on others, talking about others, questioning others lifestyle. This mindset is not helpful for you at all. Focusing on oneself is most important.

Complaining Leads to no solution

Reactive behavior Being cut off in traffic, arguments, angry outburst ,annoyance, someone saying things you don’t like or does things you don’t like. This can all make one react in a negative manner. It is best at times like these to step back and take breaths. These reactions can cause stress to the mind and body and raise one’s blood pressure, so it is best to avoid these reactions as much as you can.

Gossiping Wasting energy on others does nothing fulfilling or satisfying for oneself. This just promotes a judgmental mentality. Using your time to promote self-growth, learn, talk about insightful, in-depth topics.

Comparisons Looking at the positive of others and focusing on the negative of ourselves. People tend to focus on what we don’t have that others do. Try focusing on what you have that others may not have. No one is perfect. Comparisons can be problematic.

Victim mentality leads to no solution, one can’t improve or change with this mindset. Blaming others, circumstances, and the world takes the power away from you. I am not saying blame yourself, but one must remember that we have control of certain things in life. This mentality reduces that power. People with this mentality tend to feel helpless and the reality is that they are not.

Criticism This is towards oneself and others. It can lead or be a result of low confidence, or self-acceptance/love.

Controlling mindset The need to control others and the world around you is impossible and unrealistic. This can lead to a very stressed and angry individual. You can only control your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Let the rest be.

News/SNS We all know these things can be triggers, especially these days.

Pessimistic mindset Ah yes, the half glass full mindset. Focusing on the bad, negative and wrongs of the world.

It is easy for humans to focus on the negatives. From an evolutionary standpoint it makes sense. It was needed to ward off any foreign dangers, predators, other tribes, dangerous foods/plants. It makes sense that our brains are wired to focus on the negatives, but these days most of our negative thoughts are not cultivated from dangerous situations. They are just perceived that way. This is why it is so much harder to be positive.

Negative thinking is hard to avoid, but we do have control of how we perceive things in life. There are ways to promote a healthier, more positive mindset. I know this is repetitive, as I mentioned these a lot before, but it is important to keep mentioning it, so that these habits become habitual to live life with a more peaceful and positive mindset.

Ways to avoid negativity:

Take breaths Just stop and take deep breaths. This can help calm your negative thoughts and emotions. I always feel a sense of calmness doing this.

Take mindful breaks This is always helpful for me when I am consumed with so much information and negativity from the online world. Just getting back to yourself can create such peace and happiness.

Write down negative thoughts I saw this somewhere online, during my research. I thought this approach was interesting. Visually seeing your negative thoughts can be powerful. Letting it out on paper and to the world. Can put the negativity away from you and to these words on paper.It helps release the negative energy within you. Seeing your thoughts on paper may motivate oneself to change your perspective. I may try this one in the future.

Meditate Always a helpful tool when stressed, feeling down, or when negative thoughts consume oneself.

Exercise Known to reduce stress and depression. Gives one a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Go outside/walk in nature Something that is very helpful for myself. I always get a sense of peace coming back from a walk.

Change your language Avoid can’t,won’t, never, always, life is bad, people are bad. Push away negative words and put more emphasis on positive ones.

Practice gratitude Appreciate what you have, what is good, the beauty of yourself, others and life.

Practice compassion Show love for oneself, others and the world can help promote a positive and healthier mindset.

Practice forgiveness This can release a lot of tension and weigh on your shoulders. It will be much easier to move on and find peace if one does this.

Do things that spark joy Taking walk in nature, reading, listening to music are all things that bring me joy and happiness. Find things that do that for you. Feeling of happiness and content will exceed the negative feelings and emotions.

Be creative/productive Gives one a lovely sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and peace of mind. Doing something for your self-growth is always satisfying and rewarding. It can also help boost your confidence and give oneself a sense of appreciation.

Helping others There is nothing more rewarding, than helping others in need. We all can do our part in helping others in any way we can. It doesn’t have to be big, any small gesture helps.

Take action These negative thoughts will consume your life if one does not decide to make a change. What exactly is creating this negative mindset, life. What can I do to change this and live a more positive lifestyle. It is important to take steps away from the negativity.

I will end this with some quotes on this topic. I hope you all learn to live each day more happily, positively and peacefully. I hope you all have a lovely week.

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Loneliness

I have recently felt lonely the past week. I no longer feel this way, but I thought this would be an interesting topic to write about.I haven’t done a post on this topic, so I thought this would be a good time to do so. We all have this feeling, some more than others. This pandemic may also cultivate these feelings, since we have to practice social distancing. I rarely feel this type of emotion, since I am an introvert and love my solitude, but there are times when I do get lonely. It happens to the best of us. We are social creatures. We need to connect with others from time to time. So it is only natural for us to get lonely at times.

So what is loneliness?

I compiled a bunch of different definitions from different sources to get a variety of ideas of what constitutes loneliness.

 A common definition is “A state of solitude or being alone”. The other definition is “Loneliness is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, “it is the perception of being alone and isolated that matters most” and is “a state of mind”. “A subjective, negative feeling related to the deficient social relations” “A feeling of disconnectedness or isolation.” etc., are the other ways to define loneliness.(IndianJournalofPsychiatry).

I am happy they changed the definition from the first one stated. Being alone and lonely are two different things. Wanting solitude and alone time does not mean someone is lonely. Me as an introvert enjoys my alone time. I can find peace being alone.

“Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual. Because it has no single common cause, the prevention and treatment of this potentially damaging state of mind can vary dramatically.Loneliness is defined by researchers as feeling lonely more than once a week. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people. Loneliness, according to many experts, is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, if you feel alone and isolated, then that is how loneliness plays into your state of mind.”(verywellmind).

“Susan Pinker, a psychologist and author of “The Village Effect,” said that loneliness is a subjective feeling of being alone against your will. She said that you can be alone and not be lonely or you can be lonely even if you’re surrounded by people. It’s “a feeling of being excluded and of existential angst,” she said.(nytimes).

Although, I was able to meet with my friend and connect earlier in the week. I still felt a sense of loneliness throughout the week. I became aware  this was due to my lack of connections at work and on SNS. I have close coworkers, but wasn’t able to chat with them at all that week. I was making posts online, but no one was interacting with them, and I haven’t been able to talk to my online buddies. I saw others at work connecting and talking. I also saw it online, so that made me feel even more isolated.

 Now I know I could reach out to people, but the definitions above explained very well that it can be hard to do so when feeling lonely. You would think we would want to seek out others when feeling lonely, but it is quite the opposite,which can perpetuate feelings of loneliness.I also had this distorted thought that others should reach out to me, instead of me doing so. I wanted to feel needed. But I and everyone else who feels this way when lonely must remember the world doesn’t revolve around us and people have their lives. We can’t wait for others to come to us, sometimes we gotta make the move. Take control.

There are plenty of people I could talk to at work. I chose not to. Sometimes we have to recognize that the feeling of loneliness is perception of the mind and not reality. There are plenty of people we can connect with, but sometimes choose not to for reasons listed above. Maybe it is the feeling of not fitting it, or maybe we think they don’t want to talk to us? We just don’t want to put ourselves out there to get hurt.

“Though our need to connect is innate, many of us frequently feel alone. Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage—still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness. Research suggests that loneliness poses serious threats to well-being as well as long-term physical health.”(psychologytoday).

Loneliness can be described in different ways, including

  • feel they lack companionship
  • feel left out
  • feel “in tune” with people around them
  • feel outgoing and friendly
  • feel there are people they can turn to

(psychologytoday).

All in all, loneliness stems from a lack of connection. It gets lonely when you have no one to talk to, or communicate with. This is why you can be around others, but still feel lonely, because it is possible you are not connecting or communicating with the people you are surrounded with. You may feel you are not able to be your true self, or talk about your deepest thoughts or concerns.

I want to put this quote in, because I think it is a very true statement about why we can feel loneliness surrounded by others.”Experts believe that it is not the quantity of social interaction that combats loneliness, but it’s the quality.”(verywellmind). Quality over quantity is so important in building connections and relationships. This can be the difference in feeling like you belong vs. loneliness.

There are also situational factors that can contribute to loneliness, such as moving to a new area, a divorce, a loss of a loved one, or a psychological disorder, like depression. This is a natural emotion in those situations.

So how can loneliness effect a person?

“Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University who has studied loneliness extensively, says social connection is something we biologically crave. “We’re social beings and our bodies respond when we lack the proximity to others,” she said. (nytimes)


“Dr. Holt-Lunstad has found that loneliness can lead to serious consequences. One of her studies found that lacking any social connection may be comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day as a risk factor for mortality. “Another study found that loneliness increases the risk of an earlier death by 26 percent. She also found that social isolation, loneliness and living alone exceed the risks of death associated with obesity, physical activity and air pollution.”(nytimes).

According to an article The Health Consequences of Loneliness. They mention a couple of possible negative effects of loneliness.

  • Alcoholism and drug use
  • Altered brain function
  • Alzheimer’s disease progression
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Cardiovascular disease and stroke
  • Decreased memory and learning
  • Depression and suicide
  • Increased stress levels
  • Poor decision-making

Feelings of loneliness can have a very negative effect on the mind and body. This is why it is important to find ways to cope and manage these feelings, so the feeling don’t consume our lives. I found the fifteen cigarettes a day comment very eye opening.

So how do we cope?

There are a couple of things I have done and some others I found online that may be helpful when coping with this feeling. I will list then below.

Be Aware Noticing these feeling is important. Once you notice. You can learn to understand and manage it.

Acknowledge it. Accept it.Name it and accept it. I am lonely and that is okay. Sit with it, let it flow through you. Accept the feeling of emotion is part of being human. When I was able to label it and accept the feeling I was able to move on from these feelings. It is all part of life. The feeling will pass.

Make small talk to make new deeper connections you got to start small. There may be some coworkers you are not familiar with, or maybe talking to a cashier at a shop you go to a lot, or maybe talk to someone at a place you go to a lot. This may be a hard step, but sometimes it may good for you to take the plunge.

Connect with family/friends I had plenty of family and friends I could have reached out to when I was feeling lonely. We should not forget that we have loved ones we can talk. It is okay to reach out to them.

Acknowledge you are not alone-Everyone feel loneliness. The feeling of loneliness can come from feeling like an outsider, that no one understand you, but being aware that everyone has these feeling from time to time can be helpful. Knowing we are not alone can be helpful. Humans love the feeling of belonging.

Reflect-why are you feeling this way,what is the cause,what can be done? These questions can be asked and answered when one is able to be mindful and reflect. Reflecting was really helpful for me to cope with my loneliness. I was able to recognize the cause and analyze what I can do to manage these feelings. I felt much better after doing this.

Connect with self-Now this may be counter intuitive. But taking time to yourself can cultivate clarity and peace of mind, so practicing this may be helpful. You can journal,meditate,do some yoga. This may reduce the feelings of loneliness, or it can give one the clarity to manage their feelings of loneliness and figure out ways to find the connections one needs.

Connect with nature-Go for a walk in nature. So much peace and energy can be found doing this. I always feel a sense of connection when I am immersed in nature. Maybe this type of connection is all one needs to get through these feelings. Trees, plants and flowers are all living things. Lets not forget to connect with them as well.

Reach out-Loneliness tends to keep us from reaching out, but we might learn to try to push that desire to keep our distance and reach out to someone. Connection is all we need,so we need to learn to take control of the situation at this point. It is harder to do, than say, but it being hard isn’t an excuse not to do it if it helps bring peace of mind to yourself.

Join a club/forum A good way to meet like-minded people and connect.

Volunteer Another way to meet like-minded people. You are also doing something rewarding that can make you feel good.

Be creative- Negative emotions can always be used in a positive way. It can be inspirational.Use those feelings as fuel for creativity. Write, draw, paint, compose using the ideas from these feelings of loneliness.

Avoid SNS-can drive the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Sometimes a break can be helpful.

Be kind to yourself Show compassion for yourself. Try not to blame yourself for feeling this way. Try not to see yourself as the enemy or someone who can’t connect with someone. Believe there is nothing wrong with you. We all have these type of feelings. You are not wrong. You are not unlovable. You are not a freak. You are human.

We will all feel lonely from time to time. That is normal. It is a part of being human. It is totally okay to have these feelings, as long as it is short-term and not persistent. There will be extreme cases where loneliness is a reality, but in most cases it is a perceived threat. We must remember we aren’t as alone as we think we are.

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/loneliness

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/wellness/a28915137/what-to-do-when-lonely/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3890922/

Self-Care

Selfcare is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good selfcare is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety(Psychcentral.com).

Self-care is important to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. It means doing things to take care of our minds, bodies, and souls by engaging in activities that promote well-being and reduce stress. Doing so enhances our ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively. The practice of self-care also reminds both you and others that your needs are valid and a priority(activeminds.org).

Here are two definitions of self-care. I thought I should do a post on this topic, because I believe most people forget to apply this in life. And I think it is important, during these times to have some self-care. It is important to nourish your mind, body and soul. It is a wonderful thing to do things for ourselves. We like to help others, but sometimes forget to help ourselves, and that can be a downfall for some.

Having some self-care time can help one become healthier, happier, refreshed and more at peace. Agnes Wainman explained, self-care is “something that refuels us, rather than takes from us.”(Psychcentral.com). I really like that explanation. Self-care is about doing something that benefits oneself physically, mentally,spiritually and emotionally.  I like to list some things you can do to apply self-care in your lives. There are many things one can do to practice self-care.

  • Take a walk(probably one of my favorite things to do, and always recharges me, and makes me feel refreshed)
  • Give yourself a pedicure/manicure
  • Meditate(another thing that relaxes my mind and body.
  • Exercise(it is important for the body and mind to get at least 30 minutes of activity a day)
  • Mindful time(avoiding distractions and allowing time to be with yourself and your thought can help you find peace and clarity)
  • Eat nutritional foods(your body and mind need the right amount of nutrients to thrive)
  • Take a hot bath
  • Apply lotions/oils to body
  • Journal(always good for oneself to get our thoughts out to the world, it is also helpful to look back on your words to see how you have grown as an individual, or how far you have come)
  • Listen to your favorite music
  • Read a book
  • Go outside and lay down,watch the clouds, or look at the stars-depending on the time of day
  • Put on a homemade facemask
  • Have a splurge day(buying something you may not need, but enjoy buying, or eating something unhealthy, but enjoy eating once in awhile)
  • Be creative(color,draw,compose,knit,crotchet,sew)
  • Write down 5 positive things about yourself, and your life
  • Try a new recipe
  • Learn a new language
  • Learn something new about something you find interesting
  • Connect with family and friends(skype calls,or phone calls may be ideal at the moment)
  • Dress up(even though you can’t go out, sometimes it is nice to just dress up for fun, do it for yourself.It might make you feel good.
  • Watch/read inspirational stuff(whenever I feel uninspired/unmotivated, I always seek inspiration to get me back into my flow)
  • Try crossword puzzle/sudoku
  • Have your favorite meal or dessert
  • Have a glass of wine
  • Take time away from SNS(social media can create turmoil and negativity to your life, sometimes pulling away can be good for you)
  • Go to a lake/beach(just hearing the water, looking at the water flow,just being there in nature can be therapeutic)
  • Play an instrument
  • Play board/video games

There are plenty of things you can try to apply self-care in your life. I wanted to remind you all to take care of yourself, and always try to seek ways to improve your mind and body, so one can live a happy, peaceful and fulfilled life. This can all be done by taking care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, and that can benefit your mind, body and soul. It is okay to do things for yourself every once in awhile. Everyone needs self-care time.

Source1:https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-self-care-is-and-what-it-isnt-2/

Source2:https://www.activeminds.org/about-mental-health/self-care/

Saturday Food for Thought Post

IMAG0487Practicing mindfulness doesn’t quickly alleviate anxiety, depression, or any other negative emotions. It takes patience, practice, persistence and training. I like the comparison of training for a marathon. Just like you build endurance for a race. You got to take the same steps to get to a more peaceful state of mind. My mind is a lot more at ease now that I have been practicing mindfulness for a couple of years. I keep improving, my negative emotions continue to reduce. Things I couldn’t handle before I am much better at coping with it now. Baby steps, how you cope and handle stressful situations, or difficulties in life will get better. You will be able to find more peace, calm, and happiness in your life. It isn’t a quick fix, but it will eventually get you to a more peaceful place with continuous practice. You will see results little by little.

Being Mentally Healthy

What exactly does being mentally healthy mean? We talk about physical health, but emphasis should also be put on mental health. How is one mentally healthy. There are many ideas of what constitutes as mentally healthy. The world health organization defines it as “a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to society.”

I have a couple of ideas of things that can fit into what defines a mentally healthy individual:

  • Ability to cope with difficult situations
  • Having a more positive, realistic approach to life
  • Acceptance of life’s situations
  • Ability to keep negative emotions at a minimum

All these factors can promote a healthy mindset. Mental health is about having clarity, awareness, understanding, and acceptance. The ability to practice mindfulness can cultivate a healthier mental mindset.

Helpguide.org mentions some other key components of being mentally healthy:

  • A sense of contentment
  • A zest for living and the ability to laugh and have fun.
  • The ability to deal with stress and bounce back from adversity.
  • A sense of meaning and purpose, in both their activities and their relationships.
  • The flexibility to learn new skills and adapt to change.
  • A balance between work and play, rest and activity, etc.
  • The ability to build and maintain fulfilling relationships.
  • Self-confidence and high self-esteem.

I just like to mention that having a mental disorder does not mean one can not be mentally healthy. It can be a disruption to one’s life, but it doesn’t define the person, and one can learn to cope with it, and live a mentally healthy and fulfilling life.

It is important to focus on our mental health. Being mentally healthy helps us navigate and cope through this unpredictable and stressful world we live in. It allows us to see things more positively, and gives us the opportunity to figure things out, and problem-solve.

In the article of Building Better Mental Health by Helpguide.org they define it wonderfully, they state ” Strong mental health isn’t just the absence of mental health problems. Being mentally or emotionally healthy is much more than being free of depression, anxiety, or other psychological issues. Rather than the absence of mental illness, mental health refers to the presence of positive characteristics.” I truly believe it is important to put just as much emphasis on mental health as physical health. I holistic approach to our well-being is important to living a peaceful and fulfilling life.