My Weekend Getaway to the Beach: Appreciation of the Good Times& Transitioning Back to Reality

I went on a mini vacation to Ocean City this weekend. It was quite lovely. I had ocean view, so it was nice to sit outside and hear and view the ocean. It was really peaceful and relaxing. This gave me the space to relax and chill. I had time to be more mindful, do some reading, journaling, some meditating and chatting up and connecting with my friend. It was a really nice time. It gave me time to think, let my thoughts out and reflect. I feel completely refreshed and rejuvenated from this trip. I recommend taking a trip to the beach if you need space to be more mindful and be at peace.

It was really wonderful to see the different colors of the sky throughout the day. I liked the changes. I even enjoyed viewing the grey and cloudy skies on the last day. It helped soothe my soul. I like sunny days and blue skies, but I also welcome cloudy, grey days. I think I learned to appreciate the darker, gloomy side of things, along with the brighter ones. Life is about balance, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the good and the bad times. I appreciate them both. The yin and the yang.

Appreciating the Good times

I had a wonderful time there. It really made me appreciate the wonderful experiences I was able to have there, but I also realized this wouldn’t last, and I would have to go back home. Some dread going back and I thought I would, but by Sunday I was already missing home. I missed my plants. I missed the comfort of home, my bed, my room. I missed my routine. Some can take vacations for weeks. I realized a couple of days works just fine for me. I realized that I like a routine, and you don’t really get much of it on vacation. I enjoyed my time, but I wasn’t sad about leaving. I just come to appreciate great experiences like this. Not many get the chance to do things like this. I was able to have a nice ocean view like I always wanted to. It was a great time, but these great times won’t always last. Real life will come back.

Transitioning back to reality

For some like me, it is easy to transition back. I am happy to be back home. I am happy to see my plants again. Unfortunately some did suffer from my absence, but most did well. I am happy to be back to a routine. I am not too happy to get back to work, but it is part of life and I have come to accept it. There are some exhausting and overwhelming moments, but this job has provided many benefits for me. I don’t like to just focus on the bad, but look at both sides. There are good and bad to all things, even if you choose to just see the good or bad.

You may get caught up in vacation mode and want to stay there forever. Real life may not be as exciting, but there could be small joys you could bring to your life to make it a little more exciting. For me, it is my plants. Vacations are great, but if life is great all the time, how can you be able to appreciate and truly enjoy vacations when they come? Going back to work is the hardest, but it is part of living. Acceptance will set you free. Resistance will cultivate many negative thoughts and emotions, which will leave you in a negative place mentally. Tell yourself “it is what it is” and keep moving forward. You got to move forward, not backwards. It has already happened. Appreciate it and move on. Looking back is perfectly healthy, but yearning to go back can lead to a negative mindset.

I do still feel at peace from my trip. I am still motivated to write and read. This trip has really put me in a mindful place and I appreciate that. Just last night. I put on some beach sounds and did some writing and reading. Of course it wasn’t the same, but it gave me a familiar sensation from my trip. It kind of brought me back to it. It is nice to look back with fond memories of a good time. Life is not a vacation. It is hard work. It is full of struggles and pain. Vacations are there to get away for awhile. To enjoy, relax and experience wonderful moments. It isn’t an everyday life thing. Once you can accept that. Life back to reality will be much smoother.

Some love vacations and don’t want to come back, some love them, but are ready to come back after a couple days, some don’t care for it. I do think vacations are important to recharge oneself. We should enjoy life, while we can. We are all different and have different needs. Do what is best for your mental health. Some need two weeks, some need a couple of days. Just remember that you will eventually have to let go and move on to reality. Nothing you can do to change that, unless you get a job where you can travel a lot.

Most aren’t happy to be back, but I am. I got my comfort of home, my routine, my plants. I appreciate that it gave me material to write a post. It also put me in a place of peace and calm. The trip gave me a new perspective and outlook on things. It allowed me to experience something outside the norm. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to life.

Below are a couple of pictures from my hotel. I truly hope all of you had a chance to enjoy some time away and find some peace for the mind and body.

Enjoy Your Own Company

This is a very important lesson to learn in life. It is important we learn to enjoy and make use of our time with ourselves. I write this post, because I had plans with friends this weekend, but it didn’t work out, due to them being busy with other things. I could get annoyed, angry, be bitter, place blame on myself or them, create negative thoughts of myself or them, or have self-pity. This can all create a world of loneliness and depression.

I did feel a tinge of loneliness and felt a bit down, but that is normal. Having these feelings are normal and okay, but what you do with it is what matters. I rather use it to fuel my creativity. It allowed me to write this post. Difficulties, adversity, and negative feelings can be helpful for my creativity. I come to learn to actually appreciate them, because they help me learn more about myself and how much growth I have had.

The time alone gave me time to reflect, read the book I wanted to finish, and do other things that I enjoy doing on my own. People have their lives. They can’t always be there when you need them. I would have liked the company of friends this weekend, but it did not happen, and I am totally fine with that. I can hope to meet up with them in the future. No resentment. No anger. No self-pity. No negativity. Just acceptance. Focusing on making my time alone enjoyable and productive.

We must remember the world doesn’t revolve around us. They have their lives. You have yours. You also won’t always be there for others when they need you, so we should accept the other way around. You can only truly depend on yourself. If you learn to work on yourself, and learn more about yourself. You can learn to embrace and enjoy your own company. Having connections is important, but these connections won’t always be available, so enjoying time with you is essential for your happiness and well-being.

Dealing With Self-Doubt

“People will never rise above their own opinion of themselves.” I really like this quote. I believe it to be true. Your opinions of yourself can help lift you up and move you forward, or they can pull you down and keep you stuck. Self-doubt hinders our ability to grow, change, evolve and move forward. It keeps us stuck. This mindset is no good for our self-growth and development.

What is it

Self-doubt is a lack of confidence in one’s ability and decisions one makes. Now having a little self-doubt is healthy. It can help foster introspection and enhance performance. It is good to question oneself and challenge oneself. It keeps us humble. You aren’t always right, so self-doubt can help you from making mistakes, or doing something you shouldn’t do, but there are times when self-doubt can be crippling for you growth. Too much of it can hold you back.

“Self-doubt can be understood as a feeling of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self, such as confidence or likability. Some degree of self-doubt is generally held to be normal, because many people may question their ability to master new or challenging situations.”(Good Therapy). There is a healthy and unhealthy way to go about self-doubt. The unhealthy way that keeps us stuck is what we should try to learn to overcome.

What causes it

There are many factors that play into self-doubt. It isn’t a black or white issue. I will discuss some of them. There may even be more, that I won’t state. It is more complex, than most may think.

  • Fear-This is a big one when it come to self-doubt. We as humans do not like the unknown. It is scary. We like to know everything. It creates comfort, and we love comfort. We think the worst case scenario will happen. We fear failure.
  • Comfort-As I mention we love comfort. Getting out of our comfort zone is tough. We like things to go as smoothly as possible. We like ease. We like safety. Staying comfortable does that. But staying comfortable allows our self-doubt to continue to rise. If we never rise above our comfort. We never know what we can do. If you don’t know what you can do. Self-doubt will always follow you. You can’t do this, but you can’t do something, because you never done, or tried it. How would you know?, unless you try.
  • Guilt-Feeling like the decisions or actions you make can hurt others, even if it can benefit oneself. You as an individual may doubt what you want to do, due to hurting others.
  • Shame-Being embarrassed that your decisions and actions may not fit to the standards of others and society can create self-doubt.
  • Victim mindset-Seeing oneself as a victim gives the individual less control. The individual may believe they have no control over their life. This can create doubt in their ability to take control of their life. Mel Robbins(motivational speaker and author of the 5 Second Rule) made a statement that I really liked. “Even if you were victimized. It does’t always mean you will always be the victim.” You can always take control back.
  • Lack of confidence-Not believing your strengths can pull you up, and putting emphasis on your weaknesses. Putting focus on just the negative aspects of oneself. The individual believes they have more weaknesses, than strengths, or that their strengths aren’t good enough. This mindset can absolutely create doubt in one self. How can one believe in themselves if they can’t see their strengths?
  • Lack of trust-Not believing you can make the right decisions or actions can hold you back from moving forward. This goes along with confidence. Once you gain confidence. You can be able to trust the decisions you make.
  • Approval-Doing things for others and wanting their approval, and not focusing on your own approval can create doubt in oneself. You look to others to make decisions for oneself, but you don’t look to yourself to make decisions.
  • Perfectionism-The all or nothing mentality. Everything must be perfect and go as smoothly as possible, or it is a disaster. If any mishap, mistake, or a bit of failure comes along, doubt arises. As I mentioned, a bit of doubt is okay, but if it is used to not move forward, and if you let these things keep you down, than it can get to an unhealthy stage and keep you stuck. Perfection doesn’t exist. Use the mistakes and failures to learn, not doubt your abilities.
  • Past experiences-Your past can help cultivate doubt in oneself. How others treated you, what things were said to you, bad experiences etc,. Your past plays a huge role in who you are today.

How can one overcome it

  • Confidence-I mentioned how lack of confidence can create self-doubt, so obviously confidence in oneself can help reduce doubt in oneself. Confidence is an important skill to have. It starts with awareness and acceptance of oneself. Accepting ourselves is learning to accept our flaws, learning not to put energy into them. Appreciating our strengths and putting energy into growing and using them to our benefit. By focusing and appreciating our strengths, and putting them into action. One can learn to gain confidence. This may take time for people who lack it, but you can always build it up. Nothing is ever lost. You got to start somewhere.
  • Take action-You just got to do it. Make the decision. Take the action. The more you give yourself time to think. The less likely you will do something about it. Thinking about it for too long creates what ifs, it creates excuses. It creates doubt. Mel Robbins mentions the 5 second rule. Count backwards, not forwards, you can always keep counting. So 5,4,3,2,1 and go. Make the decision. Take the action. She mentions the idea sounds stupid, but it works. I am not sure how well the 5 second rule works, but I will say she has a point on taking action. There were plenty of times I thought about starting something, but my thoughts kept holding me back, until I just did it. Once I did it. I couldn’t believe it took me this long to just do it. You realize it isn’t as bad as your thoughts make it out to be.”Doubt creates mountains. Actions move them.”(Mel Robbins).
  • Overcome the emotions-One thing you should realize is fear, anxiety, guilt, shame will arise. There is nothing you as an individual can do about that. What you can do is take action despite those feelings. These are normal feelings to have. It is part of being a conscious being. If the decision or action helps benefit your growth. You got to learn to push through these feelings. They will eventually fade. In the short-term it may be easy to find comfort to ease these feelings right away, but in the long-term you will just allow these feelings to build and keep you stuck, because you aren’t overcoming these emotions that will never go away. Once you are able to keep moving, despite these emotions. You learn that you can overcome these emotions, and still move towards growth. Doubt in oneself will become weaker.
  • Journal/Talk to others/self-reflect-All these things can make you aware of your thoughts. It outs it out there to the world. Awareness is important. Once you are aware of your thoughts. You may realize that your doubt isn’t warranted. Maybe talking to someone else and their thoughts can help you realize that you shouldn’t doubt yourself. You may come to see that your doubt is ridiculous,or your overthinking too much, and that you are capable of handling what comes your way.

Mel Robbins mentions that self-doubt is a habit. We all know habits are hard to break, but they can be broken. You may doubt yourself now, but you can teach yourself to gain confidence, take action and reduce your doubt. Nothing is ever lost. It may take time, but you can eventually get there with practice. Always remember to keep moving forward, towards growth.

Positive Self-Talk

“Positive self talk isn’t about knowing all the answers or thinking you’re amazing, it’s simply about reframing how you view things, removing negative bias, and approaching life with the idea that you can tackle things – and even if it doesn’t go perfectly – you’ll learn from it for next time”(positivepsychology.com).

I was watching a video from this amazing vlogger Psychologist Julia Kristina Counselling (if you like motivational/self help videos, please look into her.). She mentioned something about positive self talk. I just wanted to post something about it, because I think it is very important what we say or think to ourselves. Having a more positive self-talk can allow us to be more compassionate, accepting, and appreciative of ourselves. It can allow you to learn and accept your flaws, rather than using it against yourself. It can allow you to be more confident, and more willing to take on challenges and accept failures. It can also allow you to push ourselves to success and to reach our goals.

In an article What is Positive Self-Talk? (Incl. Examples) by PositvePsychology.com. They mention some interesting things about negative and positive self talk that I like to put here for some perspective.

Negative Self-Talk

“Our patterns of self-talk are all too often negative – we focus on preconceived ideas that we’re ‘not good enough’ or ‘always a failure’ or ‘can’t do anything right’. Our brains are hardwired to remember negative experiences over positive ones, so we recall the times we didn’t quite get it right more than the times we do. We then replay these messages in our minds, fuelling negative feelings (Jantz, 2016).” Negative self-talk focuses on our flaws and weaknesses and doesn’t accept less than perfect results. Failures and mistakes are unacceptable. We beat ourselves down if it happens.

Positive Self-Talk

“Positive self-talk, as you may have guessed, is the flip of negative self-talk. It’s not about narcissism, or deceiving ourselves into thinking things that are inaccurate. It’s more about showing yourself some self-compassion and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through (Jantz, 2019).”

“Positive self-talk sees our internal narrative switching to ideas like ‘I can do better next time’ or ‘I choose to learn from my mistakes, not be held back by them’.” Positive self-talk allows you to focus on the good qualities and strengths of oneself and learning to accept and be kind to yourself if mistakes or failure happens. It lifts you up and allows you to stand up against challenges.

Reminder that our thoughts are not based on facts, they are perceived. We tend to become what we think. If we see ourselves in a positive light we can gain much from this. We can build from it. We can become better individuals. We can learn to take on whatever challenges come our way. If you see yourself in a negative way. You can self sabotage, remain stuck, and never move forward and grow. There is no learning from this state. It is much easier being negative towards oneself, but easier isn’t always better for us, and our well being and happiness. Taking steps to have more positive thoughts about oneself can allow you to be the person you want to be, allow you to reach your goals, find success, have more happy days, rather than sad ones, move forward much quicker, and have peace of mind. You can’t really argue against that right?

Positive Self-Talk - The Pathway 2 Success

Source:https://positivepsychology.com/positive-self-talk/#:~:text=Positive%20self%2Dtalk%20isn’t,from%20it%20for%20next%20time.

My Little Joys

I have gotten obsessed with buying plants recently. I bought about 15 so far. I just wanted to brighten my room and environment with these little guys. Work has been exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming lately, so I wanted to bring some joy to my life to lift me up. It also helps keep me in the present moment having to watch over and take care of them, which is nice. Most are doing well, some need a little work, but I am enjoying the process of being a plant owner. It is really lovely having them around you. Whatever it takes to lift your spirits up, big or small. Do whatever it takes to bring joy, happiness and excitement to your life. We all must find ways to get through the storm at the moment. Have a lovely day. I hope your day, weeks and months get brighter.

Overcoming Adversity

Dealing with difficulties, struggles and problems in life is part of our journey. We don’t enjoy it, but it is part of our life cycle. With mindfulness practice, you learn not to fight it, but cope with it. Being aware and accepting the reality of the instability and unpredictability of our world can help one cope with adversity better. It will still hurt and shock you, but a little awareness and preparation can help buffer the process.

Accidents, illnesses, losing loved ones etc,. It is possible and most likely we will deal with something that shatters our world and beliefs. It can either destroy you, or make you stronger. It is all in what mindset you choose to go with. You may not see it, but it is your choice in how you cope with it. You can blame others and the world. Would it help? Not really. It would just exacerbate negativity and won’t help you move forward. It will just keep you stuck.

Taking on adversity can help cultivate courage, strength, resilience, confidence, and it can inspire one to make changes and help others. It could also make someone more creative. You can turn it against you, or use it to aid your self-growth. You can you use it to bring you down, or lift you up. You can’t control the circumstances, but you can take control in how you handle those circumstances. Rather then confront it with why me’s?, blaming, hate, self-pity, and focusing on the unfairness of it all. Yes, life is unfair unfortunately. Remember this doesn’t help you at all. Try something more useful for oneself. You can use it to learn, grow and become much stronger.

“Of course, since we are human, it is very easy to get caught up in the self pity, unfairness of life, or ‘why me?’ traps. When we do, we fail to recognize the opportunities for wisdom and growth that accompany adversity. However, as soon we allow ourselves to think more clearly, we are able to let go of self-defeating and unproductive thoughts and get down to the business of dealing with what’s before us.”(Essential Life Skills.net). Yes, we are human, so we will fall into that trap of negativity, but we can learn to step away from it much sooner with healthier coping strategies.

Adversity is a way for you to grow, learn, build character, gain strength, inspire others, help others and create new meaning in life. It isn’t the end of something, but a new beginning to something else. Life isn’t fair, it isn’t perfect, it isn’t predictable. We will all have to deal with something we think we can’t handle, but once you are faced with it. You may be surprised with what you can handle. You always have the choice to cope, thrive and move forward, or sink, wallow in despair, and stay stuck in negativity. Life makes choices for us, but it doesn’t make all the choices. You have the choice in how you deal with that adversity. Down below are some things you can do to help aid you when dealing with adversity.

Some ways to cope with adversity:

  • Having a good support system
  • Talking with others
  • Surround yourself with positive people
  • Be aware and accept the reality
  • Be creative
  • Help others
  • Work on your inner self

Source:https://www.essentiallifeskills.net/overcoming-adversity.html

Getting Through the Storm

There will be difficult times in your life. Times when it is hard to see the good and be positive. As much as I love positive vibes. We can’t have that mindset all the times. Sometimes situations just suck, but being able to bare through, and accept the situation takes a good mindset and strength. It is easy to fall into the negativity trap, and it will seep through. It is normal. Are minds are set to see the negative. That is fine to allow some negative thoughts in. It is only a problem for our well-being when it is consumed too much.

I had a tough week at work. It was a struggle to remain positive. I decided to just accept what is, and tried to keep thinking that the weekend will come soon, and I can relax again and recharge. I didn’t want to consume myself with too much negativity, so I tried some things to calm my mind and find some inner peace.

Getting up in the morning was tough, but once I was up. I tried some meditation to calm my thoughts for the upcoming work day. I also did some journaling to get my thoughts out and face my emotions. I sometimes just sat in my living room. I really enjoy just sitting in my living room. i like the space and peace of it. I just sat there immersing myself in the moment, in the scenery, and my surroundings. Just sifting through my thoughts and emotions. I also spent some time watching Kpop content, although I don’t like to consume myself with it too much. There are times when I watch it to bring me joy. The content brings me happiness and laughter, and at times like these you need to find the little things that bring a smile to your face.

Another thing you can do to get through it is talk to others. I like venting my thoughts and feeling to my coworkers who are in the same boat as me. The empathy and understanding comes along way to healing. There is something very therapeutic about talking to others and having someone empathize with your words and feelings. Now remember venting is healthy, but constant complaining can get be a bit much and create negativity in your life and others. Complaining won’t get you anywhere. Let your thoughts and feelings out, get some relief, and then move forward. You got to find peace from within yourself.

I took a nice walk this Saturday, which was also very calming and joyful for me. I also spent time with family communicating and connecting which was nice. That is also a good way to get your spirits up. I am now enjoying a nice relaxing day of productive writing. I can use this day to relax and recharge myself before the storm hits again in the new work week.

I accept that work will be challenging, until we get more people. Long days, lots of work. It is what it is. If I want change, I can make changes. If I don’t want to make physical changes, than I must try to change my mindset. There will be times when you are unhappy, annoyed, angry, frustrated. I must remind myself that it is okay to feel these emotions, but I must remember to take a step back, take deep breaths, and let things flow. Embrace the little joys and times of peace.The storm will pass eventually. You just got to build strength to take in these difficult times. See some positive. I at least get the weekend to relax and enjoy the things I like to do. I will get through this. You will get through this. Just keep moving forward.

Things you can do to help get through the storm:

  • Journal
  • Take nature walks
  • Take deep breaths
  • Face thoughts and emotions
  • Connect with others
  • Communicate with others
  • Find little joys
  • Find laughter
  • Create something
  • Make changes
  • Adapt
  • Accept

You Have Power(Little Reminder)

Just here to send you a reminder that when it comes to your influences, daily habits and decisions. It is up to you what you will do with those things. I like to remind you that you are in control of those aspects of your life. Others can’t make decisions for you. Others cant make you do things you don’t want to. It may be easier to blame the world and others, but it doesn’t help solve anything. Others and the world may make things difficult at times, but in the end it is up to you how you handle those situations. Things aren’t hopeless. You can make things happen. You can make changes.

Give yourself the power. Give yourself strength. If you make good decisions. You can pat yourself on the back and be proud. If not, you can accept the mistake(no self-blaming), learn and keep moving. No one is perfect. It will happen. At least the mistake came from you and not others influences. I just want to remind you that no one has power over you, unless you allow them. Building a healthy mindset and foundation. Also self-love and acceptance can help you become aware of your power, and give you the ability to use it wisely.

Understanding Your Emotions

How I am feeling? This is something you should try to ask yourself as often as you can. Asking this question is a great tool to become more aware and understanding of your emotions. Not being able to be mindful of your emotions can create confusion, frustration and negativity. The ability to immerse ourselves in our emotions can allow us to understand the why of the feeling. This can then help you work through and resolve the emotions, and this can allow you to move on.

We live in a society that has taught us to push away feeling that creates discomfort. That shouldn’t be the case. We should learn to embrace both types of emotions. Now emotions aren’t innately good or bad, positive or negative. We associate these good or bad qualities to these emotions with how they make us feel, it is perceived. Good/positive emotions make us feel comfortable, at ease. Bad/negative emotions gives us discomfort,they makes us feel like crap. Both emotions should be embraced by us. The emotions that we perceive as good/positive bring us peace, joy and happiness. The emotions that bring discomfort teach us lessons, challenges us, and help us evolve. Both are needed.

Emotions are part of being human. They are unavoidable. They are part of we are. This is why it is important to check in with yourself and see how you are feeling. Be mindful of them and try not to push them aside. Immerse in it, understand it. Accept it part of your life. Avoiding the feeling will just exacerbate it, but actually feeling it will give it less power, and gives you the chance to resolve why you felt the way you did. Feeling it creates clarity and peace of mind.

Some ways to help you get in tune with your emotions are:

  • Journaling
  • Taking mindful breaks
  • Take deep breaths when you are feeling an emotion that creates discomfort
  • Daily or weekly emotion check in logs

Learning the why’s of your emotions can help you resolve the thoughts, feelings and behaviors one gets from these emotions. It allows one to cope with challenges and struggles much better. It can help you bounce back from negative emotions much faster. Emotions come and go. They are not you. They do not define you. Just ride the wave of emotions, the good, the bad, and the in between. Allow it to flow through you and keep moving forward. The only way you can do this is by understanding and accepting the emotion. If you don’t understand at the moment, that is okay, it will come eventually. So how am I feeling? Am I…

Positive/Good emotions:

  • Excited
  • Energized
  • Joyful
  • Happy
  • Grateful
  • Appreciative
  • Confident
  • Motivated
  • Inspired
  • Refreshed

Negative/Bad emotions:

  • Tense
  • Lethargic
  • Sad
  • Angry
  • Anxious
  • Somber
  • Worried
  • Guilty
  • Lonely
  • Fear

Neutral emotions

  • Content
  • Satisfied
  • Relaxed
  • Nonchalant
  • Tired

What are you feeling? There are many emotions to feel. Getting in touch with all the emotions one feels. Helps us to understand ourselves much more. Which ones do I feel more? Why do I feel this emotion? Do I feel more positive or negative ones? Why does it cause me discomfort? How can I cope? Checking in with your emotions more often can help you answer these questions and more. Don’t be afraid of your emotions. They are there to guide you, and to help you understand yourself and the world around you.

Finding Your Passion/Finding a Job you Enjoy

I wanted to put these two topics together, because they seem to go hand in hand. We believe finding our passion in a career is the ultimate goal of finding a job you enjoy. I got to say, from my experience and from my research on this topic that isn’t the case. It is very rare to have a career in something you are passionate about. It takes a lot of factors for it to happen. Your drive, motivation, willingness to get out of comfort zone, environment, connections, personality, among other things. There is no one shoe fits all factor when it comes to finding your passion and having a career of that passion. Many factors must come together for one to have a career they are passionate about.

Things in life aren’t always black and white. You can be able to practice your passion and still find a job you enjoy. You don’t necessarily need to build a career from your passion. It is fun just to do it in your spare time. It may be even more enjoyable to do it freely, rather than doing it for work. Time constraints, rules, pressure from others can make your passion less enjoyable in a work environment.

For many, it is difficult finding what they are passionate about. Some people just don’t know. It is totally okay not to know. People tend to feel guilt and shame, because they don’t have anything they are passionate about. You can just have a job you enjoy, without feeling any passion about it. I enjoy my job, but I am not particularly passionate about it. The thing is, I still incorporate my passion in my life. I do what I am passionate about in my free time. Hopefully I’ll be able to build a business from it, but for now I appreciate the opportunity to enjoy my passion when I can.

It isn’t a great feeling dreading coming to work. We are at work most of the time, so it is imperative for your mental well-being to find a job you enjoy. If we enjoy our work, than we are able to enjoy our lives much more, and live more positively, since work fills up most of our lives. I like to write a list of things to look into when searching for a job that can spark joy, or at least make the work week more bearable. I will say searching for a career with your passion is very difficult and can be disappointing when it doesn’t happen, so these other things may be better to look into. I am not saying you shouldn’t find a job you are passionate about, but it shouldn’t be an ultimate goal.

  • Get out of safety Zone-“Do you want to expand or constrict?’ “You are not going to be stuck. You are stuck now.” I heard these quotes from a TED Talk I watched. I really liked them. These quotes are good reminders that staying safe and comfortable isn’t always best for our happiness and growth. Doing something that challenges oneself can be exciting and rewarding. But make sure it isn’t too challenging. That creates stress. A nice balance.
  • Variety– Trying different types of jobs can easily show you what you like and what you don’t. You may be surprised what you actually enjoy doing. This can give you the opportunity to find a job that you like and enjoy.
  • Work Environment Do you like office jobs?, do you like moving around?, do you like your own space? Do you like it to be more quiet? The environment can play a role in what you like about a job. I really like my job, because I get to move around. I am a very active person, so the environment suits my personality making the job more enjoyable.
  • Autonomy-Are you the type who likes to be free and do their own thing? It would be good to look for a job that allows you this freedom. If a place is too controlling and restrictive that can be a downer for an independent individual.
  • Skills-Look for something that enhances and incorporates your skills. Find what your skills are and search for a job that correlates with those skills.
  • Meaning/Value-Does the job add value. Having a meaningful job can be a great way to enjoy what you are doing.
  • Stress-A stressful job can make anyone miserable. The best thing to do is to find a job that reduces the amount of stress on oneself. Stress at a job is normal, but overwhelming stress can be detrimental, especially if there are no benefits to it. Some jobs are stressful that lead to rewards and benefits, but if the stress leads nowhere, than that can be problematic for the individuals well-being.

These last two are for people who have difficulty leaving the job that makes you feel stuck and miserable. It is hard for some to leave the financial stability and comfort of a job.

  • Perspective– See the job from a different point of view, find some good points about it, maybe there is something to it that you didn’t look at. Find some ways to bring joy and excitement to the job if you find it dull and boring. Figuring out ways to step out of the misery, instead of immersing in it.
  • Acceptance-Sometimes we have a job we don’t like. Not everyone will like the job they have. It is what it is. The job puts food on the table, gives you a home, gives you comfort. It does have its benefits. Accepting can be comforting, instead of fighting your disdain for the job. These two options are helpful and comforting, but finding another job would probably be best for your happiness and satisfaction in the long run. Change is hard, harder for some, but it can happen.

Passion for something is great, but it is also interchangeable. It evolves. I was once passionate about being a singer, but I no longer have that passion. This is why it isn’t always best to focus on what makes you passionate when choosing a career. Maybe some people prefer doing things they are passionate about in their free time, rather than the confines of having to do it on a schedule and have strict rules when it comes to their passion. Sometimes it is just hard to find a job with the thing you are passionate about. That is perfectly fine if you can’t find a job that incorporates your passion.

It is important not to beat yourself up for not finding a passion in life, or for not having a career that incorporates one’s passion. Be kind to yourself and realize that everyone’s journey is different. Not everyone know’s what they want to do in life. Having a passion doesn’t define your life. We as humans love to know everything. We are uncomfortable with the unknown/uncertain. It is best for your peace of mind to accept what is and move forward, because forcing yourself to find your passion creates negativity and despair. The problem is we compare ourselves to others who have passion, and have careers related to that passion. The thing is our journey is always different and we all have different paths. Focusing your energy on yourself and your progress is what is important. Remember passion and a career won’t always go together. Find a job that suits your interests, skills, schedule and personality can go along way.