#disappointment – Psychology of Mindfulness

I had a topic in mind this week, but I like to talk about a personal experience of mind. I tend to find inspiration to share my experiences of my mindful practices. I am always gaining some new enlightenment or reminders through my practices. With practicing mindfulness for a couple of years now. My ability to adapt to change in plans, or disappointment has improved.

I usually spend my weekends taking walks in the morning, but this Saturday the weather wasn’t particularly the best for walking. It was rainy and stormy. I was a bit disappointed I couldn’t go for a walk. It is really refreshing to take my walks in the morning, but as I realize plans don’t always go the way you want, weather is unpredictable, life is unpredictable.

I didn’t want to wallow in disappointment and let it defeat and consume me. I decided to use this negative emotion in a positive way. I wanted to use this rainy day to do some writing I have been holding off for a year now. I have been thinking about writing a book, but never really got to it. I decided to use this extra time at home to work on it. I am most creative and motivated in the morning, so this was my chance to work on it. I was happy to get a couple of things done. It was really rewarding to start it. I didn’t do much, but every little step towards your goal helps. I always think it is best to do thing little by little, instead of overwhelming yourself to get as much done. It puts a lot of pressure on oneself.

I was proud of myself that I was able to do something productive and positive with my extra time home, instead of wasting it on being sad and disappointed. I started to appreciate the time I got to be home. This was my chance to relax. I am always moving with work, during the work week. This rainy day was my opportunity to relax my body. Although, I have become aware of it. I like to be reminded that change can be a wonderful experience if you learn to focus your energy on the positives of it, and make use of it.

I also found it relaxing and soothing to just sit there and listen to the sound of rain. It was quite nice. It made me appreciate rainy days like these. Sometimes we need days like these to find inspiration, be creative and relax our bodies. I was reminded Saturday that a day at home can be just as wonderful as a day exploring. It is all about perspective.

2273941-Nick-Jonas-Quote-Life-happens-Adapt-Embrace-change-and ...

Rodolfo Costa Quote: “Learn to adapt. Things change, circumstances ...

I have written a previous post on this topic Rise From Disappointment I like to talk more on this subject, since I have been feeling a bit of disappointment lately. Disappointment is defined as sadness, or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hope and expectations.

We may have to face lots of disappointments, during these times with lots of plans being undetermined, or cancelled. I had plans, and goals this year, but it will most likely not happen, due to this pandemic, and how things are changing. I am a bit disappointed at the probability of the many concerts I planned to go to this summer not happening.

I will say, it is okay to feel disappointed, these feelings are part of life, and being human. Learning to accept these feelings can help one move forward. Hopes and expectations can lead to a person feeling sad, angry, disappointed, and unfulfilled. It is okay to make plans, hope, and be excited for future experiences. We just have to remember that life is unpredictable, and there is a possibility things won’t work out as planned. When we look towards the future, we are creating a world that doesn’t exist, whether it is an exciting, or scary experience. We don’t know what the future holds. The future experience we create in our minds doesn’t always mean it will become reality.

I found something interesting online that discusses the set-up of disappointment. They mention five steps.

1.You are in a situation where the outcome is uncertain

2.You hope for a positive outcome

3.You feel you deserve the positive outcome

4.You’re surprised you didn’t achieve the outcome

5.You couldn’t control the outcome through personal achievement

Source:https://www.bestpsychologydegrees.org/the-psychology-of-disappointment/

Number 3 is a key point. We tend to feel things are owed to us in life, but the reality is nothing is owed to us. Good things are not owed to us. Great experiences are not owed to us. Being aware of this can help one from not feeling anger, or bitterness towards oneself, or the world. It will stop you from asking why questions, like why me?, or why does bad things happen to me?, or why does the universe hate me? Questions like that, which necessarily doesn’t serve you in any way.

The last point is also important to look at. It sucks when something is out of our control. We don’t like when we can’t control a situation. It makes us feel powerless. Although, we can’t control the situation. We can control how we handle it, and how we can move forward from it. And that is also a powerful thing.

My plans may not happen, but I know there are plenty of other joyful experiences out there that I can experience, like taking scenic walks, going to the park, and going on hikes. I will just hope that I can experience these concerts someday in the future, that is all I can do. I know the excitement of the experience was created in my mind, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will happen the way I envision it, and that is okay. This mindset can also work towards stressful, or scary future situations that make you anxious. It may not be as bad as you think it will be, just like a fun experience may not be as exciting. Reality is different from our mind’s expectations. I will try to focus my energy on the experiences I can control.

Disappointment is a reality we should try to face, so we don’t end falling into a world of despair, sadness, and anger. In the end, with mindfulness, and life’s unpredictability. It is about facing reality, and the acceptance of that reality. This will help set your mind at ease, and create a more peaceful and happy life for oneself. It definitely helped for me.

Meditation: Life is not controlled. Expectation creates ...

Tag: #disappointment

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