Tag: #coping skills

Overcoming Adversity

by Ana-Alicia

Dealing with difficulties, struggles and problems in life is part of our journey. We don’t enjoy it, but it is part of our life cycle. With mindfulness practice, you learn not to fight it, but cope with it. Being aware and accepting the reality of the instability and unpredictability of our world can help one cope with adversity better. It will still hurt and shock you, but a little awareness and preparation can help buffer the process.

Accidents, illnesses, losing loved ones etc,. It is possible and most likely we will deal with something that shatters our world and beliefs. It can either destroy you, or make you stronger. It is all in what mindset you choose to go with. You may not see it, but it is your choice in how you cope with it. You can blame others and the world. Would it help? Not really. It would just exacerbate negativity and won’t help you move forward. It will just keep you stuck.

Taking on adversity can help cultivate courage, strength, resilience, confidence, and it can inspire one to make changes and help others. It could also make someone more creative. You can turn it against you, or use it to aid your self-growth. You can use it to bring you down, or lift you up. You can’t control the circumstances, but you can take control in how you handle those circumstances. Rather than confront it with why me’s?, blaming, hate, self-pity, and focusing on the unfairness of it all. Yes, life is unfair unfortunately. Remember this doesn’t help you at all. Try something more useful for oneself. You can use it to learn, grow and become much stronger.

“Of course, since we are human, it is very easy to get caught up in the self pity, unfairness of life, or ‘why me?’ traps. When we do, we fail to recognize the opportunities for wisdom and growth that accompany adversity. However, as soon we allow ourselves to think more clearly, we are able to let go of self-defeating and unproductive thoughts and get down to the business of dealing with what’s before us.”(Essential Life Skills.net). Yes, we are human, so we will fall into that trap of negativity, but we can learn to step away from it much sooner with healthier coping strategies.

Adversity is a way for you to grow, learn, build character, gain strength, inspire others, help others and create new meaning in life. It isn’t the end of something, but a new beginning to something else. Life isn’t fair, it isn’t perfect, it isn’t predictable. We will all have to deal with something we think we can’t handle, but once you are faced with it. You may be surprised with what you can handle. You always have the choice to cope, thrive and move forward, or sink, wallow in despair, and stay stuck in negativity. Life makes choices for us, but it doesn’t make all the choices. You have the choice in how you deal with that adversity. Down below are some things you can do to help aid you when dealing with adversity.

Some ways to cope with adversity:

  • Having a good support system
  • Talking with others
  • Surround yourself with positive people
  • Be aware and accept the reality
  • Be creative
  • Help others
  • Work on your inner self

Source:https://www.essentiallifeskills.net/overcoming-adversity.html

Coping Through Uncertain/Difficult Times

by Ana-Alicia

Plans, vacations, appointments, schedules are all postponed, cancelled, or uncertain. Some are facing job losses, and financial instability. These times are difficult for everyone in one way, or another. It is hard to stay positive and calm all the time. Lots of thoughts may overwhelm you with all this uncertainty. With all of this, we must figure out ways to manage and cope. It is either that, or self-destruct, and fall into depression and despair. You, nor I, want that. I wanted to write down a list of ways that can help one cope through these tough times. So how do we cope?

Do what you can control:There are many things we can’t control about this situation, but all is not lost. There are also many things you can do. Things are not black or white, or all or nothing. There is grey area to work with. If you lost a job, maybe find ways to fill out resumes, and do job searches. I am sure there are plenty of places hiring, maybe some people you know may have some ideas, ask around. If you can’t go to the gym, do some home workouts, or do some exercises outdoors. If you can’t meet with friends, call them, or virtually hang out with them. There are things that you can do in this situation. It is all about working with what you got.

Find little joys&happiness:I just went for a walk Saturday. I also did some fun kpop reviews on my other blog. I really enjoyed doing this, and it made the weekend exciting. I was also excited to try these frozen fruits I bought yesterday. Finding little things like this that bring you joy is important through these times that may make you perceive the world negatively. Finding the little things that can make you happy can bring some excitement back to your life.

Take deep breaths/meditate:Whenever my thoughts overwhelm me. There can be times when all my thoughts about this uncertainty overwhelm my mind. I use the technique of taking deep breaths. This helps calm my thoughts. If you like to dig deeper. Closing your eyes, and doing some meditation can help calm your thoughts, and bring some clarity to the uncertainty.

Find Inspiration/Guidance: Looking for others for a different perspective, and outlook on life can be helpful. If I feel a bit down, I like to read my mindfulness books, and watch my favorite inspirational Youtube channels to guide me back to a more positive mindset. Doing this allows you to see things from a different perspective, and view things from a different light that you may not have thought of, or maybe just needing the reminder.

Express gratitude:We tend to put our focus on the negative. Try to take some time to write down 5 things you are grateful for. This could show you there are some good things going on in your life, and that not everything is bad. This could bring a bit of positivity back into your life.

Be productive/creative:This gives you a sense of accomplishment and achievement. It may be hard to do some things in these times, but there are plenty of creative, and productive things one can do to counteract the uncertainty, and difficulty of these times. It may even bring you joy after accomplishing these things.

Be kind to yourself:Remind yourself that it is okay to feel sad, anxious, lazy, lonely etc,… through this. These emotions are normal. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way. Show compassion and empathy for oneself.

Avoid News-The news likes to catastrophize, they like to show things that will shock their viewers. They rarely posts good news, because that isn’t what grabs attention. They tend to make things seem worse, than it is. Sometimes it is best to keep your distance from it. Be informed, but try not to consistently check up on it.

Talk to others/journal:Letting your concerns out to the world is very therapeutic. Try to use these outlets to help you cope. I always feel better writing my concerns down on paper, or talking to someone about it. Releasing it out, and not bottling it in can be very helpful.

Reflect on past coping skills: I saw this in one article I was reading for my research on this topic. I really liked this one. Delve into the past, and reflect on what you did in the past to help you cope through these times. We all been through something in the past, but you got through it obviously, what was it?, and can you apply it now? I like this one. This can help build your coping skills strength.

Take mindful breaks:I was on the computer yesterday, and I was getting overwhelmed with all the information being thrown at me. I was starting to feel lethargic and down. I decided to take a mindful break, and I felt so refreshed, rejuvenated, and relaxed once I did it. Being with your thoughts. You are able to find clarity, which then can help you problem-solve, and figure things out. Too much information being thrown at you can get overwhelming. It can also make it hard to confront your thoughts and concerns about life, so you may not be able to find clarity, and figure things out. A mindful break may be needed to gain perspective. It also allows you to live in the moment, and truly live. One is truly living when they are aware of the moment.

Accept:Last coping strategy, but certainty not least. These times make one aware that life is uncertain, unpredictable, and reminds you that losses will happen in life. Use this situation as lessons for the future. Uncertainty and difficulty will happen again. It is a natural part of life. Security, safety, and stability are not certain in this life. Situations like these helps bring us back to reality, and away from our perceived safety net of stability. Also, things can be much worse. Just think about all those movies & books about pandemics, or past diseases and viruses that killed many more people. See the reality of the situation, and keep moving forward.

We are all dealing with some type of difficulty, or struggle, but that is something we deal with daily, not just through this pandemic. That is life. There are good. There are positives as well. I hope these strategies can be helpful in some way. We just got to keep hanging on. Work through it. Keep moving forward. We will get through this, like the many other struggles we have gone through in the past. I hope you all have a lovely week.