I realized how fast I want the week to go, so that the weekend would come, but the weekend comes, and that time flies by as well, then the cycle begins again. We are now already in April of the new year. Time flies. I am already anticipating my adventures for the summer. I keep looking forward, but not living mindfully, and in the moment.
The moment is precious, but I and many others take it for granted at times. We continue to look forward. Rushing through the days, and then realize how time flies. The years, the weeks, and the days go by fast. I can’t just look forward to the weekends, that is only a couple of days out of the year. I got to try to enjoy each day of the year. Trying to embrace the moment as much as I can. I need to step back, pause, and live in the moment.
Yes, work can be difficult at times, but that doesn’t define my whole day. There are moments connecting with coworkers that are enjoyable. There are also moments before work that can be enjoyable as well. Life is too precious to just focus on the weekends, or special adventures. Although I can look forward to my summer adventures. Those moments are far off. The future isn’t here yet. Life is unpredictable, and nothing is set in stone. I need to appreciate the moments now, rather than anticipate the future that doesn’t exist yet.
The moment is now. Your life is now. We are all guilty of rushing. It is part of our nature. It is good to anticipate something in the future. It brings us hope, joy, and excitement, but our focus should be in the moment. Trying to make the best of what is right in front of us.
I no longer want to rush through the week. These are 5 precious days you can’t get back, so I will try to make the best out of these days. We all should make the best out of all our days. Remember your work days are longer, than non work days. Those are a lot of days to rush over. It will be the end of the year sooner than you know it.
Just try to relax, step back, and live as mindfully as you can. Enjoy the little moments. Make moments to enjoy. Try to find little joys within these days. Lets try patience and going through the motions. There will be bad times, dull times, exciting times. Some days suck more than others, and there are days we will like to rush over, that is understandable. You can use those days as a learning experience. Not everyday will be exciting, fun and full of happiness. We should try not to make a habit of rushing through everyday, because time flies faster than you know it. The only time you are truly living is in the moment.
We are taught to embrace and express “positive” emotions, but told to repress the “negative” emotions. This mindset isn’t necessarily healthy for us to do so. All of our emotions should be expressed and accepted, even appreciated. I know that may sound strange, but things can be learned from “negative” emotions. One can learn to evolve and grow from these emotions. It is important to let out these “negative” emotions, so that we don’t allow them to fester and permeate our minds and lives. It won’t help to keep them in, to use drugs, alcohol, food, or other unhealthy habits to repress them. Bottling in emotions can lead to lower level of well-being and makes one less likely to achieve goals.
I put quotations for positive and negative emotions, because emotions are not necessarily good or bad. It is how we perceive them. Emotions just are. They are there to tell us something. They are there to guide us. We tend to see the more difficult/uncomfortable ones as bad/negative, and see the more comfortable/uplifting ones as positive/good emotions. Difficult emotions tend to make us feel worse about ourselves and our lives. Uplifting emotions tend to make us feel better. It makes sense, we as humans like categorizing things to make things simple, but I like you to be aware that emotions in itself are not good or bad.
With practicing mindfulness, you learn to feel, understand and accept all emotions. You learn is okay to feel these emotions “good” or “bad.”. You may even see the beauty in it. Emotions is what makes us human. It shows that we are caring. If you don’t feel any of these, than that may be something to be concerned about. So what are some ways to express and let out these emotions?
Cry-Sometimes you just got to let out a good cry.
Take deep breaths-This is always a helpful strategy to help calm and sooth an individual.
Vent to others-Let others know what you are feeling. It always feels good to let out what you are thinking, having others listen, and getting some empathy from others.
Journal-Sometimes you don’t want to vent to others, or have no one to vent to. This is also a good way to let your thoughts and feelings out. Just getting your thoughts out on paper can be therapeutic.
Exercise-Can help reduce stress, helps increase brain health, thinking and memory. Increases levels of endorphins, dopamine and serotonin(feel good neurotransmitters and hormones). It also gives you a nice sense of accomplishment and makes you feel good about oneself.
Get creative-Fuel that energy into something creative can be helpful and can help you create something beautiful.
Listen to comforting music-It can be uplifting music that can help you get into a happier place, or sad songs that help comfort you, knowing others have gone through the same thing.
Another important reason why we should express our emotions.
You won’t be able to enjoy happiness and joy: You won’t be able to appreciate the good times as much. Feeling joy, happiness, excitement, accomplishment, appreciation are wonderful feelings to have, but if you try to repress the more difficult emotions. It will be just as hard to express the more uplifting ones as well.
Fighting emotions leads to more suffering: The more you fight it, the harder it will be to move one. The more you repress it with something else, the longer it will stay with you. Facing it is the best to heal.
It doesn’t allow you to live life fully: Feeling emotions makes us human. It allows us to experience life. It pushes us to evolve and grow. It shows us we are caring and compassionate individuals. It shows us we want to improve and become better individuals. It keeps us alert. It keeps us moving. We need emotions to live.
We don’t want emotions to be expressed in a harmful, hurtful way, or become persistent. The point is to feel the emotions, cope in a healthy way and move forward. You don’t want to ruminate over the emotions for a long period of time, but you also don’t want to skim pass and repress them. There needs to a balance. Allow yourself to feel the emotion, but recognize that the show must go on eventually, express it in a healthy manner, and this should allow you to move on from it.
I would like to continue my conversation on mental strength from my last post Ways to Gain Mental Strength. I stated that I will make another post on some other ways I have found online and through my own experience. As I mentioned, there are plenty of ways to gain mental strength. I will discuss a couple more habits that can be helpful. Through experience and practice you can learn to develop more of these habits to build on your mental strength and health.
Write positive aspects of every challenge-I really liked this one when I saw it. We tend to put more focus on the negative, but there could be a lesson learned, a better opportunity, a new way to learn, or maybe it can help you inspire others, and create a new path for you. There can be something there if you look for it, and change your perspective.
Practice 30 minutes of self-care–Give yourself space to pamper yourself. To make yourself feel good. Remember, you can’t be your best to others, if you don’t treat yourself right first.
Say nice things to yourself-This may seem ridiculous or embarrassing to do, but starting with saying nice things to yourself, even small things, can help build self-kindness and compassion, to eventually love and confidence.
Practice more gratitude and less complaining-I mentioned many times that complaining solves nothing, and creates more negativity. Working on being more grateful can do wonders. I try my best to focus my energy on the good things in my life when I find myself getting into a negative space. It has helped my mental health vastly.
Accept adversity and challenges-It is important to recognize that challenges will arise. Being able to overcome obstacles and keep moving takes strength. It is tough, but you’ll get through it. This is something you want to remind yourself. This is all part of life experiences.
Learn to be alone-Some like more alone time, than others. There are some who really need to be around others, but we all need space from time to time. It doesn’t have to be a long period, but you got to allow yourself to think and feel for yourself. Giving yourself that space leads to more self understanding and awareness. Self soothing and reflection are very important, no one can truly help you, but yourself. Getting to know yourself better leads to a better mindset.
Practice self love-Once a person is able to love themselves. It is very hard to break that person down and deter them. They know who they are. They know what they want. They stand strong, and go after what can give them a better life.
Getting power over your emotions-Okay, you can’t control your emotions, but the power is how you handle them. Allow yourself to feel it. Give yourself space to let it out in a healthy way. Understand it is part of being human. Push through. Figure out ways to move forward, whatever way works best for you. Just try not to let the emotions consume you.
Seeing the other side-Having the ability to empathize and seeing others perspective helps build a stronger mindset.
Eat healthier–Studies and research has shown that an unhealthy diet can lead to higher rates of low moods, depression and anxiety. Feeding your body with the right nutrients can help build mental strength and clarity.
Meditate-This cultivates inner peace, mental sharpness and clarity. When your mind is clear. There is much potential.
Be mindful-Practicing mindfulness had definitely played a part in being more mentally strong as an individual. Once you start being mindful, all of the other things above start to come into play. For me, it starts at learning to be present.
I can list many other things that can help one to become a mentally strong individual. There is a plethora of habits and practices out there. There are plenty of practices, but sometimes difficult for people to put into practice. It is all about awareness of where you are right now, and what can be done to improve your mindset, situation and circumstances.
The past couple days have been a bit stressful. I have been glued to the screen, seen a bit too much negativity, but I also did see hope for a better tomorrow. I thought today will be a nice day to take a break from it, and get back to being more mindful. It has been really nice these days, so I took the opportunity to step outside for some fresh air, and view the beautiful scenery around me. This walk, along with doing a bit of running, yoga, and some journaling helped put me in a better place mentally and physically.
There will be times when you step away from mindfulness practices, but you can always step back, and reclaim your peace of mind. Journal to get your thoughts out, and confront them. Take a walk outside to get fresh air, and see the beauty of this world. Exercise to get some movement, and strengthen your body, and to increase our feel-good hormones(dopamine, serotonin, endorphins). Practice yoga to stretch and relax the body & mind. Meditate to calm the mind and gain clarity. Work on your goals, and be productive to gain a sense of accomplishment.
If you are feeling a bit stressed or down. Just remember that a bit of mindfulness can help bring you back to a better place mentally and physically. You may fall off track, but it will always be there when you need it. Giving yourself space to be present, and giving yourself space to focus on you is truly important, and something we should remember to do. I allowed too many of others opinions to consume my mind. Time to give my thoughts a time to shine. Always remember to look within yourself.
“Mental Strength is the capacity of an individual to deal effectively with stressors, pressures and challenges and perform to the best of their ability, irrespective of the circumstances in which they find themselves (Clough, 2002).
Building mental strength is fundamental to living your best life. Just as we go to the gym and lift weights in order to build our physical muscles, we must also develop our mental health through the use of mental tools and techniques.
Optimal mental health helps us to live a life that we love, have meaningful social connections, and positive self-esteem. It also aids in our ability to take risks, try new things, and cope with any difficult situations that life may throw at us.”(PositivePsychology.com).
Being mentally strong is important for us to thrive in this world. It helps build confidence. It helps us cope with struggles, It helps us live a more fulfilling life. It also helps us find inner peace. It allows us to live a more satisfying life. It is important to find habits to help build one’s mental strength. There are plenty of ways to do so. I will list and discuss 9 ways described by Vlogger Clinical Psychologist Julia Kristina. I found her ways to be intriguing and helpful. I will link her video below if you like to look more into it. I will also make a part two of this with some habits I found online that seemed helpful, and from my own experience with gaining mental strength. I will first describe the 9 habits from Julia. I will incorporate my own ideas to what she mentions of course. I really liked her ideas, so I wanted to post them here.
How do you talk to yourself? That is an important question to think about. Is it mostly negative, self-defeating, self-blaming, or critical? Do you always put yourself down? Think about it, would you say these things to someone else? Why must you be so hard on yourself? Treat yourself with the same respect as you do to others. Try to tell yourself more nice things. Try to see more positive things in one self. Learn to pick yourself up, rather than bring you down. How you speak to yourself is very important in how one can gain mental strength. If you can’t pick yourself up, and motivate oneself, no one can. Try to tell yourself things that can help you and build you up. “I can do better next time,” I made a mistake, but that is part of being human, I can learn from this,” “I am a wonderful human being,” “I may not be good at this, but I am great at other things.” Try kinder, more encouraging language to oneself. It can only help you become stronger mentally.
Learn to observe thoughts
Your thoughts don’t define you. They are not based on reality. Thoughts are stories of the mind. We should try to remember this. Try not to allow them to dictate our feelings and behaviors. Just try to say to yourself, “Oh, I have this thought, or that one,” but those thoughts do not define you, others, or a certain situation. Just observe and move on. When we can observe thoughts more, and not allow them to sip into reality. We find more peace and a stronger sense of mental clarity.
Accept life for what it is
This is something I have mentioned a lot, but it is so important for your peace of mind and happiness to accept life for what it is, imperfect, difficult, full of struggles, most good things don’t come easy, most things aren’t handed to you, loss happens, endings happen. If you refuse to be aware of this, or accept it. Life will be much harder, and more miserable. Julia Kristina mentioned something that really resonated with me, she states, we say “why me?, but why not me?” Bad things can happen to all of us, no one is exempt. No one is invincible. Try to let go of the why me’s, life is not fair talk. It gets you no where, except miserable. Life is the way it is, but it also has plenty of positives and good to focus on as well. Things aren’t black and white.
Make Choices for oneself
The choices we make should mainly be for ourselves, our growth, and our happiness. We may have to sacrifice ourselves at times, but we shouldn’t all the time. Try not to make choices to please others. The majority of the things you think you have to do. You probably don’t really have to do. Try to let go of the guilt, and if there is a little guilt, so be it. There are times I feel a little guilty for the choices I make, but overall I am satisfied with the choice, because it was a choice I wanted to make. I didn’t do it to please someone else. Allow yourself to have choices with more confidence and less guilt. Being able to make choices for yourself without worries of the outcome is a helpful skill to build mental strength. When you allow yourself to make the choices you want. You gain a certain freedom from it.
Get out of comfort zone
You got to stop the wishing and waiting game, and just do it. The more you think about it, the less likely you will do it. A little bit of discomfort is good for you. It means you are moving towards growth. The fear and discomfort is from change/something new, but once you get past it, it will subside. The feeling of overcoming your fears will be very rewarding. Are you going to let fear control you, or do you want to take control? Fear will always be there. It is up to you what you do about it. Once you are able to face your fears. It will make you a much stronger individual mentally.
Accept failures/mistakes/bad decisions
One failure doesn’t make you a failure. Be proud that you took a chance, and put yourself out there. Now you know, and won’t have to wonder what if. Putting yourself out there, allowing yourself to possibly fail builds courage. I once had a job that didn’t work out, did I see it as a failure, no, did I learn from it, yes. Failures, mistakes, and bad decisions are learning tools for the future. No one is perfect, try not to beat yourself up for these things, if you do that, you may never learn from it. Accepting these things leaves space to grow, and cultivate mental strength. Once you accept, and get through the hurdle. It will be easier for you to put yourself out there. If you fail, you fail, but there is always an opportunity to flourish, and that will bring such a rewarding feeling to oneself.
Learn not to give up easily
Now there are times when things may get too stressful, or if it infringes on your mental well-being, than it is okay to quit, but most of the time people quit, because it may be harder than one thought, one may intimidated, scared, or one may think they aren’t good enough. You also may quit, because things aren’t moving faster than you thought it would. It is important to keep pushing, and not look for a smooth/easy ride. It will be hard at first, but once you get over the initial phases, things will get better and easier. Quitting may create comfort, but that isn’t always the answer. It is always best to push yourself if it is going to better yourself, and help you grow.
Learn not to look for immediate results/shortcuts
It would nice if things were handed to us, but we got to do the work. Fast results the majority of the time don’t give us the best result. You got to put in the work. You got to realize it takes time to reach your goals, or achieve the things you want. If you try to take the shortcut. You most likely won’t get where you need to go. If you do the work, even taking small steps at a time, you will eventually get where you need to go. The work can be hard and long, but if you take the small steps to get there. You will eventually reach your goals. It takes patience. It takes determination. It takes the awareness to understand that things don’t come fast and easy. Once you are able to cultivate this skill. This can help build your mental strength and perserverance.
Cultivate healthy boundaries
This is about learning to say no. This is about setting healthy boundaries for yourself, and the people around you. Having a sense of self, knowing your wants, or dislikes, and what you want from yourself and others. You don’t want to be tossed around in life by yourself, or from others. You want to learn to stand tall and strong. Learning what you want out of life, and not allowing others to dictate what you want to do. Its okay to say no, it is okay to feel a bit of guilt, but remember this is your life. You have the freedom to choose what you want to do with it for the most part. If you don’t want to do something, don’t. You may disappoint someone, but you are not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You are responsible for your own.
I am not saying be selfish, and never do anything for anyone, or not do things for someone if they need you. I am saying if you truly don’t want to do something, and it is something you dread, and it doesn’t create a happy atmosphere for you, or maybe there are times you just want to do your own thing, or just don’t want to do it. It is okay to say no. Saying yes all the times seeps happiness away from yourself. It can make life more stressful. It gives you less freedom. Learning to take a stand and say no, helps build healthier boundaries. You don’t want others to walk all over you. Appreciate yourself. Appreciate your wants. Doing this is another step to building mental strength.
I think these habits above are great habits to build mental strength. It can also help one find more happiness and inner peace in one’s life. I have implemented all of these habits and it has done wonders for my anxiety and mental health overall.
We will go through phases in our life journey. We will have phases of motivation, creativity and productivity. We will also have phases of laziness, unproductivity, lack of motivation, or creativity. We can’t be on at all times. It is okay to have lazy days. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I can get caught up in mindless activities from time to time, and not be as mindful as I usually can be. That is okay. As long as you always find your way back. Even during those times, you can always try to find a bit of time for mindfulness, or take baby actions towards some type of productive work, so you don’t feel completely unaccomplished, or lazy.
Just remember that these phases will always happen, and there is nothing wrong with some lazy time. That time is just preparing you for some more creativity. It is giving you the rest to become more productive in the future. Phases are all art of the human experience. Learn to ride along with it, rather than fight against it. You will eventually get back on track. Accept all that comes your way. Learn from the low phases. Give yourself a rest. Enjoy some mindless activities. This will give you the energy to get back on track to the high phases.
Whatever can spark joy and happiness in your life, however small it is, look for ways to implement them into your daily life. I think it is important to find joy and peace in life however way you possibly can.
As I mention in other posts, work has been a struggle lately. I am exhausted, tired and overwhelmed from work. I don’t always look forward to going, or look forward to the work day weeks. I also don’t want these feelings about work to spill into my everyday life, the times I am away from work. I don’t want negative thoughts and feelings to pervade my life, so I try to find ways to bring some enjoyment to my life.
One thing I enjoy is drinking a cup of Dunkin coffee before work. Coffee gives me energy. It also puts me in a better mood. This helps get me through the work day, and actually makes me look forward to Mondays and Fridays(those are the days I get coffee). It is a nice little treat before work. Any little thing that can bring happiness is all that matters.
I also have been into buying plants. I truly enjoy having them around my room. Just looking at them, brings me joy. I usually go to a plant nursery on Saturdays to pick new ones out. I really enjoy just looking around seeing all the pretty plants around me, and picking the ones that I like. I truly enjoy being surrounded by plants at home. Coming home after an exhausting day to my lovely plants is something that brings life back to me.
One thing that helps keep me at peace is doing meditation before going to work. I try to do a session to calm my mind and body, before I head into the craziness of work. It definitely helps calm me down more. It helps me handle the stressors of work much better. I still get stressed, but not as stressed if I didn’t meditate. It also puts me in a more positive, happier mood going into work. As I mention in my last post, I also try to take deep breaths whenever I feel overwhelmed as well. This also helps.
Some things in life can be stressful and difficult, but not everything in life is that way. There will be times of joy and peace that you can embrace and enjoy when it arrives. It is all about making the time to do so. Be in the moment. We allow our minds to be preoccupied with the bad parts of our lives. We forget to take time to enjoy the good moments.
I work majority of the time. We spend most of our time at work. I get how being at a job you don’t enjoy can be a bummer, but we can’t allow our feelings towards work, or any difficult part in our lives pervade our mind into a negative place. Now I actually don’t dislike my job. It just gets overwhelming. All jobs have stressful parts to it. If you don’t enjoy your work, than it may be time to get out of your comfort zone, and look else where, because as I mentioned, your job makes up most of your life. It can be hard to enjoy life, if you don’t enjoy what you do.
We should try to strive to find joy and peace in life when we can. It is important for our mental health and well-being. It can be something little, something big, or in between. Just find something that can lift you up, and help keep you in the moment. To appreciate and embrace the joys and peaceful moments in life.
Years go by fast, months go by fast, weeks go by fast, and so do days. We are already near the new year. We try to rush by the days(I do this as well), but maybe we can use everyday to find some joy and peace in it. Maybe we can learn from the difficulties of that day as well. We should learn to embrace each day, and take the moments of that day in as much as we can, because sooner, rather than later, the years will have passed by and you truly haven’t lived, or enjoyed life as much as you wanted. Be mindful of the moments in life. Enjoy, find peace, and live as fully as you can.
I saw this quote in my mindfulness book. I thought it was a lovely and powerful quote about mindfulness. I wanted to share it and say something about it.
It is important to be reminded of what mindfulness is, even with years of mindfulness practice. I sometimes get lost in mindlessness. I really love the quote above. Its all about learning to live in the present, so one can find inner peace and calmness. Living in the past creates sadness, frustration, guilt, regret and sorrow. Living in the future creates stress, tension, anxiety and worry. We can always use the past as a tool to learn and grow, and we can use the future to set goals for ourselves, but clinging to the past or future should be avoided for your mental health and peace of mind.
I went on a mini vacation to Ocean City this weekend. It was quite lovely. I had ocean view, so it was nice to sit outside and hear and view the ocean. It was really peaceful and relaxing. This gave me the space to relax and chill. I had time to be more mindful, do some reading, journaling, some meditating and chatting up and connecting with my friend. It was a really nice time. It gave me time to think, let my thoughts out and reflect. I feel completely refreshed and rejuvenated from this trip. I recommend taking a trip to the beach if you need space to be more mindful and be at peace.
It was really wonderful to see the different colors of the sky throughout the day. I liked the changes. I even enjoyed viewing the grey and cloudy skies on the last day. It helped soothe my soul. I like sunny days and blue skies, but I also welcome cloudy, grey days. I think I learned to appreciate the darker, gloomy side of things, along with the brighter ones. Life is about balance, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the good and the bad times. I appreciate them both. The yin and the yang.
Appreciating the Good times
I had a wonderful time there. It really made me appreciate the wonderful experiences I was able to have there, but I also realized this wouldn’t last, and I would have to go back home. Some dread going back and I thought I would, but by Sunday I was already missing home. I missed my plants. I missed the comfort of home, my bed, my room. I missed my routine. Some can take vacations for weeks. I realized a couple of days works just fine for me. I realized that I like a routine, and you don’t really get much of it on vacation. I enjoyed my time, but I wasn’t sad about leaving. I just come to appreciate great experiences like this. Not many get the chance to do things like this. I was able to have a nice ocean view like I always wanted to. It was a great time, but these great times won’t always last. Real life will come back.
Transitioning back to reality
For some like me, it is easy to transition back. I am happy to be back home. I am happy to see my plants again. Unfortunately some did suffer from my absence, but most did well. I am happy to be back to a routine. I am not too happy to get back to work, but it is part of life and I have come to accept it. There are some exhausting and overwhelming moments, but this job has provided many benefits for me. I don’t like to just focus on the bad, but look at both sides. There are good and bad to all things, even if you choose to just see the good or bad.
You may get caught up in vacation mode and want to stay there forever. Real life may not be as exciting, but there could be small joys you could bring to your life to make it a little more exciting. For me, it is my plants. Vacations are great, but if life is great all the time, how can you be able to appreciate and truly enjoy vacations when they come? Going back to work is the hardest, but it is part of living. Acceptance will set you free. Resistance will cultivate many negative thoughts and emotions, which will leave you in a negative place mentally. Tell yourself “it is what it is” and keep moving forward. You got to move forward, not backwards. It has already happened. Appreciate it and move on. Looking back is perfectly healthy, but yearning to go back can lead to a negative mindset.
I do still feel at peace from my trip. I am still motivated to write and read. This trip has really put me in a mindful place and I appreciate that. Just last night. I put on some beach sounds and did some writing and reading. Of course it wasn’t the same, but it gave me a familiar sensation from my trip. It kind of brought me back to it. It is nice to look back with fond memories of a good time. Life is not a vacation. It is hard work. It is full of struggles and pain. Vacations are there to get away for awhile. To enjoy, relax and experience wonderful moments. It isn’t an everyday life thing. Once you can accept that. Life back to reality will be much smoother.
Some love vacations and don’t want to come back, some love them, but are ready to come back after a couple days, some don’t care for it. I do think vacations are important to recharge oneself. We should enjoy life, while we can. We are all different and have different needs. Do what is best for your mental health. Some need two weeks, some need a couple of days. Just remember that you will eventually have to let go and move on to reality. Nothing you can do to change that, unless you get a job where you can travel a lot.
Most aren’t happy to be back, but I am. I got my comfort of home, my routine, my plants. I appreciate that it gave me material to write a post. It also put me in a place of peace and calm. The trip gave me a new perspective and outlook on things. It allowed me to experience something outside the norm. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to life.
Below are a couple of pictures from my hotel. I truly hope all of you had a chance to enjoy some time away and find some peace for the mind and body.
“Positive self talk isn’t about knowing all the answers or thinking you’re amazing, it’s simply about reframing how you view things, removing negative bias, and approaching life with the idea that you can tackle things – and even if it doesn’t go perfectly – you’ll learn from it for next time”(positivepsychology.com).
I was watching a video from this amazing vlogger Psychologist Julia Kristina Counselling (if you like motivational/self help videos, please look into her.). She mentioned something about positive self talk. I just wanted to post something about it, because I think it is very important what we say or think to ourselves. Having a more positive self-talk can allow us to be more compassionate, accepting, and appreciative of ourselves. It can allow you to learn and accept your flaws, rather than using it against yourself. It can allow you to be more confident, and more willing to take on challenges and accept failures. It can also allow you to push ourselves to success and to reach our goals.
In an article What is Positive Self-Talk? (Incl. Examples) by PositvePsychology.com. They mention some interesting things about negative and positive self talk that I like to put here for some perspective.
“Our patterns of self-talk are all too often negative – we focus on preconceived ideas that we’re ‘not good enough’ or ‘always a failure’ or ‘can’t do anything right’. Our brains are hardwired to remember negative experiences over positive ones, so we recall the times we didn’t quite get it right more than the times we do. We then replay these messages in our minds, fuelling negative feelings (Jantz, 2016).” Negative self-talk focuses on our flaws and weaknesses and doesn’t accept less than perfect results. Failures and mistakes are unacceptable. We beat ourselves down if it happens.
“Positive self-talk, as you may have guessed, is the flip of negative self-talk. It’s not about narcissism, or deceiving ourselves into thinking things that are inaccurate. It’s more about showing yourself some self-compassion and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through (Jantz, 2019).”
“Positive self-talk sees our internal narrative switching to ideas like ‘I can do better next time’ or ‘I choose to learn from my mistakes, not be held back by them’.” Positive self-talk allows you to focus on the good qualities and strengths of oneself and learning to accept and be kind to yourself if mistakes or failure happens. It lifts you up and allows you to stand up against challenges.
Reminder that our thoughts are not based on facts, they are perceived. We tend to become what we think. If we see ourselves in a positive light we can gain much from this. We can build from it. We can become better individuals. We can learn to take on whatever challenges come our way. If you see yourself in a negative way. You can self sabotage, remain stuck, and never move forward and grow. There is no learning from this state. It is much easier being negative towards oneself, but easier isn’t always better for us, and our well being and happiness. Taking steps to have more positive thoughts about oneself can allow you to be the person you want to be, allow you to reach your goals, find success, have more happy days, rather than sad ones, move forward much quicker, and have peace of mind. You can’t really argue against that right?