Building Healthy Relationships

Trust, Respect, love, attention, communication, compromise, and commitment are things mentioned that make up a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship can bring much more joy and happiness to one’s life. The thing is many people struggle to find a healthy relationship, and end up being in one that can be toxic. It is better for our well-being to bring more positive relationships into our lives, rather than negative ones.

Building a healthy relationship is very important in life. This can be for significant others, family or friendships. It is important maintaining healthy relationships. Having someone who we enjoy being around can bring joy, happiness, and enrich our lives. Healthy relationships can also impact us in a positive way. So what goes into a healthy relationship? How does one have a healthy relationship? There are many factors. Here are some I believe can help cultivate a healthy relationship.

The most important factor is first learning to love and accept oneself. You really should know who you are as a person before getting into a serious relationship. I think being mentally stable is also important. You can’t build a relationship if you haven’t built yourself.

It is important to work on yourself first, then work on having a great relationship afterwards. Many people rush into relationships before they are mentally and emotionally mature to handle it. This is what causes problems in a relationship. If you go into a relationship thinking that this person will help improve your self-esteem, or self-image that is not a healthy way to go into a relationship. Self-love comes from you. Your significant other can motivate you and make you a better person, but that has to come naturally. It isn’t something you should force. It is not another person’s responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. That type of pressure is a recipe for disaster. This is why accepting and loving yourself from within you is important.

Remember it isn’t two halves becoming one, but two wholes, becoming a bigger and stronger whole. You are not two halves coming together to make one, but two wholes coming together. In a healthy relationship you both may strengthen each others weaknesses and may help each other to become a better person. That is part of a healthy relationship, but it should happen organically. Everyone should want to grow and improve in life, so it is great to have a significant other, or friend help bring the best out of you. But it all start with you. When you accept and love yourself as a person. It will be easier to have trust and respect in the relationship.

Jealousy in a relationship is due to insecurities, and low self-esteem of an individual. This is not something you want. Also, if you know who you are, then it will be easier for you to know what you want in a significant other. You can weed out the bad seeds a lot easier. When you know your self-worth. You will seek out individuals who will treat you well with love and respect, and you will be less likely to deal with someone who will treat you like crap. We all deserve someone who will treat us with love and respect, but if you don’t have self-love. You will most likely date someone who doesn’t treat you well.

Another factor to a healthy relationship is independence. I think people lose their independence and identity when they are with someone. This is a recipe for disaster. It is great to be together, but everyone needs their space. A couple should not spend all their time together. Both partners should have their time to themselves, hanging out with their own friends, doing their own them. It will keep the novelty in the relationship, so you both won’t get sick of each other. Being with the same person all the time can get boring, and it can lose the spark and interest in the relationship. It is important to have your own life and identity in a relationship, so that when you come together you can talk and learn more from each other.

There are times when your significant other may not enjoy the things you do, so it is best to do those things on your own, or with good friends. It isn’t healthy to only do things that your significant other wants to do, or vice versa. You both should do things you enjoy. If you both enjoy the same things, great! Have a great time together. There also times when you don’t enjoy the same things, and that is when you do your own thing and enjoy what you love. Don’t let anyone hold you back from doing what you enjoy to do, but you also shouldn’t force someone to do something they don’t enjoy either. Many people in relationships want to do everything together, but that isn’t very healthy, and leads to unhappiness in the relationship to eventually breaking up. I am not saying always do your own thing, but in life there should always be balance.

Trust, respect, honesty, equality, support are all parts of a healthy relationship. The two factors I discussed cultivate these things. Self-love and maintaining your individuality are important factors to building a healthy relationship.

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Be Appreciative. Be Positive. Live A Happy Life

I wanted to write this post to share my new mindset of being positive and appreciative. I should make this one of my goals for 2020. I kind of started to do this last year, along my journey with mindfulness. I really like to practice this a bit more this year.

I think this is a great mindset to have. It has made me a much more happy and content person. I like to focus my energy on the positive, and be appreciative of life. I don’t want to be consumed by negativity. I see myself being more at peace, calm, and happy now that I decided to see the bright side of life. I am in control of how I perceive things. I can either choose to be angry, bitter, sad, or miserable, or I can choose to be joyful, appreciative, calm and happy. I choose the latter. We should all choose that path if we want a satisfying and peaceful life. I want to focus my energy on positivity.

I have gotten a mindfulness book this Christmas. There are many wonderful exercises I can do to be mindful. It had me do a lovely exercise of dish washing, but it allowed me to be appreciative of the task, and focus my energy on the moment of the task. How the water felt, how my hands felt,etc. It allowed me to appreciate that I can walk, and use my hands to do the task. I also appreciate that I have clean water, and cleaning supplies to do so as well. It made me see this tedious task in a different light. It made me appreciate it more. If you can learn to appreciate simple tasks like that. It makes you much more appreciative of the whole scheme of things. It makes you appreciate life more.

Work has been difficult at times. I have been exhausted from all the work we have, and overworking myself. I can choose to focus on the disorganization, or the fact that they need more workers, or the fact that I am exhausted from the work and overtime.

But I choose to put my energy on the benefits of having the job. Money to get the things I want, and to experience the things I like. Health benefits that have been useful to me recently, especially Dental. Also, the lovely paycheck I will get from Overtime to help pay off cards and loans I need to pay off. Also, the lovely coworkers I have. That make work a bit more enjoyable. I actually do like my job, but it can be overwhelming at times. I also decided not to overwork myself as much to get things done quicker. I will do what I can, but nothing more. I shouldn’t give more, than everyone else. I tried that practice out Friday, and it made work much more easier and enjoyable. I felt much better.

In the end, it is the choice of the individual how we choose to perceive things. Either we focus on the good or the bad. Either we choose to be miserable or content. It is up to you. I chose happiness and peace of mind. Now I mentioned happiness isn’t stable, but with this mindset you will have a happier mindset. There will be more happiness, rather than sadness. You can be able to enjoy life much more.

I always try to remind myself, why be sad, when you can be happy. Who needs to be negative. When you can be positive. There is enough negativity in the world. I want to spread positivity. Grant it, we will get sad, that is life, but if I can control more happiness in my life. I will do that as much as possible. Always choose happiness over misery when you can. Life will have its bumps. Life will have its struggles. We just got to learn to combat it with positivity and appreciation, and the coping process will become much smoother.

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The Art of Complaining

Complaining is that act of expression of annoyance or dissatisfaction in something.  I like to write this post for my readers, so you don’t fall into the trap of complaining, whether it be receiving, or giving. Expressing our feelings of annoyance and dissatisfaction can be good for us. The problem lies is when it is consistent, constant, and negative. This is how complaining can be a problem for yourself and others.

Being a complainer, and being on the other end of a complainer cultivates negativity. Avoiding negativity is something we should try to do. Complaining can be burdensome, so it best to avoid this problem child at all cost.

There is a difference between complaining, and sharing your concerns. There is nothing wrong with sharing your concerns. Talking about what is bothering you can be helpful and therapeutic. This is about sharing your thoughts with someone, having someone listen,  showing compassion and empathy, and maybe them sharing their thoughts on the situation. The person may take things said into consideration, and come to a conclusion, or solution on their own. This is a healthy talk.

Now when someone talks about things in a negative light, only focusing on the negative of the situation, refuses to listen to others thoughts, refuses to find solutions or take action, and continues to talk about the same problem over and over again with absolutely no solution is when it becomes unhealthy, burdensome, and honestly rather annoying.

This behavior is toxic, negative, and pretty selfish on the individual’s part, if I say so. We must remember that the world doesn’t evolve around you, me, or anyone. Your problems are your problems, no one else’s. The individual is the only one who can fix the problem of the individual. Spreading your negativity to others just puts the complainer in a bad light among others.

A complainer should remember that we all have problems, and we don’t need more problems pushed on us. What if an individual is dealing with things, and wants to step away from their own problems, and wants to be positive, or be around positive energy?, but a complainer decides to push their negative behavior on to them, talking about all their problems, and creating negative energy. This then, pushes them back down to negativity.

This is something to think about when complaining. Everyone has their battles. No one is special in this aspect. Being compassionate, and understanding that others are struggling, and may not want your problems, and negativity is an important skill to have. It is also best as the receiver to stay away from a person with this bad habit. We must learn to keep negative energy away from ourselves.

We must learn as individuals that nothing beneficial comes from complaining. It creates negativity. It pushes people away from you, because really, who wants that type of negativity in their lives? It is also annoying and burdensome to deal with. It solves nothing, because the individual isn’t trying to find a solution. They just want others pity and sympathy, but the opposite tends to happen. The thing we must learn is to express our problems in a more constructive way, and the realization that the individual problems can only be fixed by the individual.

If you have a problem, talk to others, hear their thoughts, be realistic, and don’t make excuses. Look to figure out how to deal with the problem. If you do these things it will stop you from a consistent pattern of complaining about the same thing.

You are in control of how things work out in your life. We must try to make a positive impact on ourselves and others, not cultivate negative energy. We must build others up, support them. Avoiding complaining is one way to do so.

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Positive Habits of 2019

The new year is closing in. I would like to continue my reflection posts of 2019. I would like to talk about the positive habits I built this year. I think it is good for the soul to focus on the good things I have done this year.

Improving my mental, physical, and emotional health has been an important part of my mindfulness journey. Developing positive habits has been integral to my self-growth and development. It helps build character. Building positive, rather than bad habits can help improve the mind and body.

Implementing these habits have been a wonderful addition to my life. It is good for the mind, and body to build your life around positive habits. Continuously doing things to benefit yourself is what an individual needs to evolve as a person. Remind yourself, what benefits me, and try to do those things, if it does not, try to remove it. Why make life more difficult than it should be? It is about taking control, and creating positive energy around you. Here is my list of positive habits I created this year.

1.Drinking more water/less sugar drinks-I love to drink, but I was drinking way too many juices a day for my liking. Juice has lots of sugar that my body doesn’t need. I decided to replace it with water. It was tough at first, but now I drink more water throughout the day. It helped reduce my sugar intake by a lot. It gives me more energy. It has helped me lose weight, and maintain my weight. The body needs water, so why not give it what it needs. Also we can make a mistake of being hungry, rather than being dehydrated. If you feel hungry. It is sometimes good to try water first. It may be dehydration. Water is your friend folks.

2.Activity for at least 30 minutes-Exercise is important, not just to lose weight, or to be skinny. It is integral to have at least 30 minutes of activity a day. The body needs it, so I try to exercise, be it running outside, or at the gym, doing yoga, or doing jump rope at home. Exercise gives me energy, and allows me to maintain my weight. I like to be as healthy as I can now, so I don’t pay for it when I get older. Although, I can’t control everything. I try to control as much as I can for my physical health.

3.Eat nutritional foods-Someone mentioned on a TED talk I watched,”eat for nutrition, not for weight loss.” That really resonated with me. People don’t realize that eating healthy isn’t to be skinny, or lose weight. I thought this too. It is to give your body the much needed nutrients. Most people don’t give their bodies the nutrients it needs. This creates many diseases. I have eaten much more nutritional food this year(fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans). These are all good for your body. I usually do the 80-20,90-10 rule. I still eat my cookies, cakes and chocolates. I just eat them less. This has given my body more energy, and has made me more alert mentally. I just feel good all around.

4.Less Judgment-Being more mindful. Has made me less judgmental towards others, and myself. I have gotten so much better at looking at perspectives. I still judge from time to time, but nowhere near as much as before. I know it isn’t my place to judge others, and I know I have to be more kind to myself by not judging myself harshly. Judgment just creates negative energy I don’t need.

5.More compassion-This goes along with judgment. Being more compassionate means being less judgmental. I am more understanding of others actions and opinions. I am understanding of mistakes I and others make. This creates positivity and peace around me. Understanding myself and others. Looking through different perspective has changed my life for the better. It helps to push away negative energy, and to just be happy for myself and others. Compassion allows me not to carry resent or anger towards another. I don’t need that negativity in my life, and neither should anyone else.

5.Creating Mindful Time-I have made it a habit to have mindful time(meditation, journaling,writing, reading,coloring). I just like to be in the moment with no distractions. I take about an hour a day to do this. This calms my mind. It gives me clarity. It makes me creative. It helps me learn more about myself. This habit has been wonderful to me.

6.Positive mindset-I am a lot more positive about things, than I have ever been. Whenever I am feeling down about going to work, or doing something I don’t want to do. I try my best to stay positive. I tell myself,”be positive, you’ll get through it.” It works. I try to remain as positive as I can through out the day, because honestly why be negative. Why be sad, angry, annoyed. I don’t like feeling those emotions, so I do my best to avoid them when I can. I go about my day, put a smile on my face, and keep going. This mindset has allowed me to move on from negative thoughts, and emotions much more easily. If I have a choice. I rather be happy, so I choose that path as much as I can.

And these are the lovely habits I have created this year. I hope I can build more in 2020, we’ll see. I also hope these carry on to 2020. I am sure they will, once you build a habit. It is pretty hard to lose it. That is why building positive habits that benefit us is so important, so we can continue to do things that make us stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. I hope this gets you to think of positive habits you built this year. If you like to write it down in the comments. I loved to hear. Always do things to improve yourself, and that has benefits to your mind and body.

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Evolving or Changing as a Person

I had a nice conversation with my friend, and it made me think of what the differences are between these two. I was asked what is the difference, aren’t they the same? Yes, they can be seen as the same, but from my perspective I don’t see it that way. They can go hand in hand. They can be used interchangeably, but I see them as different when it comes to changing as a person, and evolving as a person.

When I think of someone wanting to change as a person. I see it more as a person not accepting who they are, and wanting to push away from the person they are. I see it as the person wanting to focus more on the parts of them they are not happy with, than the parts they are happy about. When someone says they want to change, do you really want to change yourself completely?, do you really want to rid of the amazing qualities you do have?, or do you want to change the qualities you don’t like? Wanting a change to me is changing who you are. Do you not like who you are?

I think we should all appreciate, and accept who we are, the things we like, and the things we don’t. Wanting to change pulls us away from who we really are. It is like you don’t like the person you are. I don’t want individuals to pull away from who they are. I don’t want them to not like who they are. We are all wonderful. We all have qualities, and quirks that make you, you. I just like an individual to expand on who they are.

This is where evolving comes from. I like the phrase evolving as a person, rather than changing. It is expanding on who you are. It is about developing and growing. It is about an expansion on the already awesome person you are. It is about improving on the qualities that you are not to proud of, but keeping the qualities you love about yourself. It is adding value, positivity, insight, knowledge, and wisdom to your being that you may not have had before.

Life is all about evolving. We have done it, since the beginning of time. It allows us to survive in this ever changing world. Evolving gives us room to learn, to be more knowledgeable, to be more compassionate, to be more mindful, to be more creative etc. It gives us room to grow, but it allows us to keep parts of who we are that we love and accept. There are amazing qualities in all us that we must retain. We can learn to accept the flaws as well. The great thing about evolving is that we can improve, and work on them. Life would be boring if we were all perfect. Growing and expanding is an important part of our life journey.

So in conclusion, wanting to change to me is more about pulling away from who you are. Not accepting the person you are. Mindfulness is all about accepting who you are, appreciating the qualities that make you awesome, and learning to accept the ones you aren’t proud of. It is all still part of you. We all have these type of qualities. That is what makes us human.

Now wanting to evolve gives us the opportunity to become a better version of ourselves, and work on those things that we may not like. I like to say I am evolving as a person. It just sounds much better to me. I appreciate my whole being, and I truly hope others start to as well.

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Depend On Yourself

We should try to learn to depend on ourselves. Try not to look to others, or external things to bring us happiness or fulfillment. Being independent can be a tough battle. What many don’t understand is that being dependent on others can lead to misery, sadness, loneliness, and disappointment.

Others aren’t always going to be there, or say the right thing. Others can’t fix you. That must come from you. Learning to fix yourself promotes freedom, strength, and peace of mind. There is so much strength in being able to get yourself out of the tough times, struggles, or down times. I mean, doesn’t it feel great when you are able to fix things on your own?

Now asking for advice, or guidance is not a problem. We all need guidance, but it becomes a problem when you expect others to fix, or solve the problems you are having. The thing is no one else, or any external thing can solve it. That must always come from the individual, so being able to learn how to self cope is important.

We all have our own problems, struggles, and battles. We must remember that it is no one’s job to fix us, and it isn’t our job to fix others. I can’t give others happiness, satisfaction, or fulfillment, and others can’t do that for me. We as individuals must learn to do that ourselves.

Society may allow us to think that we must be around others all the time. I get it we are social creatures, but trying to be by yourself, and do your own thing is just as important. I am not saying live in total isolation. You always need balance. Being able to be alone can allow you to be free. It can help you learn about yourself, reflect on who you are, and give you the chance to accept the person you are, which then can help you learn how to deal with down times on your own, without the help of others, or outside sources.

So try doing your own thing. Try depending on yourself. There is a stigma of being alone, and there really shouldn’t. How can we know who we are, if we look to others to define us? , or depend on others all the time? If we don’t spend some quality time alone? You can’t. We must give ourselves the space to be free, grow, and develop.

Doing my own thing gives me the space to do the things I enjoy that maybe I can’t do with others. It is the time I truly feel free. Connecting with others, being around others is great, and very important. On the other side, being alone can be just as great. We need our independence, our individuality. Dependency strips us from our individuality, and freedom.

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Motivation

Motivation is the desire to act in service of a goal. It’s the crucial element in setting and attaining one’s objectives—and research shows that people can influence their own levels of motivation and self-control(Psychology Today).

There are many things that can motivate an individual. Motivation helps us achieve our goals. It helps us achieve the things that need to get done. It isn’t always easy to get the motivation to do things though. There are so many things we like to do, but just don’t have the push to do so.

I am writing this post to talk about the thing that helps push myself to get what I want done. There are a couple of things I don’t want to do, but know I need to do for my over all health,self-growth and happiness. So what exactly motivates me to do it?

Thinking long term. Yes, while at the moment it doesn’t seem fun to do the thing I want to do. I know that the long term benefits outweigh the short term struggles of getting what I need done.

I know mindfulness is all about focusing on the moment, but when it comes to reaching, or attaining your goals. It is important to remember the long term benefits. This type of thinking helps push me to do what needs to be done. My thoughts, just get it done, and over with. My mind, and body will thank me later. And it is always rewarding to be able to do what needs to be done. It helps promote a positive mindset for being able to achieve what needed to be done.

There a couple of things that I didn’t really want to do. One thing was going to the dentist. It has been awhile, since I went, but I knew I needed to go. I was anxious of what might happen. A small part of me wanted to not go, but the larger part of me knew it was best for my health to go. Thinking of the long term benefits pushed me to go. I went, and things didn’t go as bad as I thought. It wasn’t even a bad experience. I was happy to finally get things fixed, and work on my overall health.

Some other things that I struggle to do is write for my blog post and exercise. It is always a struggle to start, but I know I can get great benefits from doing these things. I always try to remember the lovely feelings I get from finishing these tasks. The benefits of helping others, and getting my thoughts out when it comes to writing. And keeping my self healthy and rejuvenated from working out. I always try to think of what benefits I can get from doing tasks I am particularly not fond of doing at the moment. I do enjoy these tasks once I get into them, but starting it can be rough.

These tasks normally take about 30 minutes to an hour of my time. That isn’t long. These things normally don’t take that long. We got plenty of time in the day to achieve the things we need to get done for our overall health, happiness, and attaining our goals. You just need that push to do it. Mine is thinking long term. Yours may be different. You just got to find the thing that can motivate you. Achieving our goals is important. Being healthy mentally, and physically is important. Finding contentment and happiness is important.

Motivation allows us to achieve these things. You may want to keep pushing something off, but remember it has to get done eventually. Why not doing it now! The moment is now. You do it now, it is done and over with, and you will feel much better for it.

The present moment is the time to achieve your goals. This can greatly benefit your future self. Try not to let the past deter you from doing things. I feel down from not doing it yesterday, so why bother doing it today? You can always start fresh. It is always about the moment.Motivation is an important tool to get us where we need to be.

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Lazy Sundays/Falling Into the Negativity Trap

This post is more of a personal experience I had a couple of Sundays ago. I thought I share my experience, and what I learned from it through mindfulness practice. I hope it can be helpful for you if a lazy day comes into your life.

Good old lazy Sundays. This is the one day I don’t do much. The day I like to relax, and chill the most. That can also lead me to fall into laziness and distractions. Sundays tend to be the day I get lazy, and distracted the most. I tend to scroll more, and continuously watch Youtube videos. This type of thing isn’t good for my mentality and peace of mind. I always feel so drained after doing this. But for some reason I find myself getting caught in it. It is just such a simple trap to fall into.

Saturdays I usually have a plan. I am more productive. I just like to get more things done on Saturdays. I accomplish more things on that day. Then Sunday comes, and I feel I can relax. I just don’t want to do anything. This can be a problem, because it makes it easier for me to get lost in distractions. It is Football season, so it makes it even more easier to get lost online, scrolling through comments about the game. Comments online can bring me to a negative state, and they can also annoy me, which brings my mood down. But I keep scrolling online. I continue to go on Youtube, and watch mindless videos of kpop, which also gets me, because I tend to scroll through comments there, and on Twitter. Watching kpop videos is enjoyable, but too much of anything isn’t good for you. The negativity, and numbness just piles on.

Thankfully with practicing mindfulness. I was able to become aware of my actions(awareness is always key in mindfulness). I thought to myself, why am I letting other people’s opinions bother me? Why does it matter? It isn’t that serious? None of this was providing me benefits to my well-being.

This is when I was able to pull back, and step away from the negativity. I do this whenever negativity gets too much. I decided to turn off my computer, and to be mindful for the rest of the day. I needed my peace of mind back. So I decided to do some mindful and productive things. I decided to work on my healthy meals plan. I always try to eat mostly nutrient based foods now, so I like to have a plan. Then I was inspired to write this post, so I did my rough draft on paper, like I always do. Creativity and reflection tend to seep through, during mindful and quiet times. I always love that part.

After that, I proceeded to meditate, and then read. It was lovely getting back to the silence. I still get lost in distractions every now and then. And that is okay, I am human, we all are human. If things like that happen on your journey. Try not to beat yourself up about it. As long as you are aware, learn, and try to make changes. That is all you can do. Mishaps will happen. Mindfulness is a learning process, and it isn’t simple.

As long as I, and any one who practices mindfulness has the awareness. It can help set anyone free from any negativity traps that comes our way. Always try to remember to bring yourself back to the moment. You will get lost, but you can always bring yourself back. Sometimes I will fall into the trap, but I also realize I am human, it will happen. Instead of blaming myself, or having negative self-talk. I practice self-kindness. As long as I am able to step away when I need to is all that matters. You can also do this as well. Disconnect, go to the quiet, get mindful. Your mind will thank you for this.

The Sundays after that experience has been different. I try to balance mindful time with moments of online time. I started drawing and coloring, which has been a fun mindful exercise to try. Just doing the things I can to be in the moment, which brings me joy and peace. I hope you can all try some things that can bring you back into the moment as well.IMAG0225

 

The Art of Not Caring

Okay, it is time to stop caring. It is that simple. Okay, I am kidding. I know it is a process to get to that point. Now when I say not caring. I don’t mean become a sociopath. It is important to care about yourself, others, and life. What I am talking about is not caring about impressing others, or caring what others think of you.

Living a life to impress others can lead to a miserable and controlled life. I like to say I am at a point where my life doesn’t evolve around impressing others, or trying my best to give anyone a good impression of myself. I am who I am. If you like me, great, if not, great, well, not great, but I’ll live. I don’t need everyone to like me, nor should anyone else.

This mentality is hard to maintain. I am aware that I should try to live my life for myself, and not look to others to live my life. It is easy to put our whole life story online, or the part we want them to see, to impress others, and show them how cool we are. I fell into that trap. I do still post some cool pictures, and fun experiences, but it is more to share my experience online, more than trying to make an impression.

If I get one like, which in my case I usually do. I am perfectly fine with that. I just like to share my experiences, and have something to look back on. Living life for yourself cultivates freedom, content, and satisfaction. If people enjoy the content, great, if not, at least I did.

In the end, this is your life, your journey. You should live it the way you want. We get lost in doing things the way others, or society wants it. You got to get married by this time. You got to get this type of job. You got have the fancy car. You got to get a house. You got to live the dream life? What does that even mean? We all have different dreams. Embrace your own journey. Who cares if you aren’t following what society thinks is the right way to a happy, and fulfilling life.

We focus on what others think. We forget to put emphasis on the self, and what we really want. What actually makes me happy? What do I want out of life?  What helps me reach my goals? What can I do to have a fulfilling, content life? These are questions we should ask ourselves. Not what can I do to make others happy, or impress them. This is about you.

People tend to abandon their true being. Becoming sad, depressed, angry, bitter or anxious, because we allow others to dictate our lives, instead of living the life for themselves. Once you are able to live the life you want without worrying about others opinions. Freedom, and contentment will follow.

The biggest regret in most people who are on their death bed is not living their lives for themselves, so please try to make an effort to live life for yourself. This is your life, your journey. No one else should live it for you. We only have one life here, make the most of it.

There is much freedom living a life for oneself. It may take more time than others to get to this point, but hopefully there is a point where you can be yourself, and live the life you choose. I believe once you are able to accept your self, and who you are. This process will become easier to do.

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Accepting Failures

Accepting our failures, and mistakes are difficult for us humans to do. Although, it may be difficult. It is something we should try to accept. As I mentioned many times before, we must remember we are not perfect. Failures, mistakes, and struggles will happen. These things in life are unavoidable. It is best to learn to accept it, so we can learn to cope with it better when it happens.

We will make mistakes sometimes. We will fail sometimes. We will be wrong sometimes. This is hard for the ego to comprehend. The thing is, mistakes doesn’t mean we can’t learn  from them. Struggles doesn’t mean we can’t grow from them. Failures doesn’t mean you can’t overcome them. These things doesn’t define your whole being. This is just one aspect of your life that didn’t go well. One failure doesn’t mean you are a complete failure. It happens, what you do with that situation is what matters. You can either let it defeat you, or challenge yourself to learn, and grow from it.

We call ourselves idiots, stupid, a failure when things don’t go our way. We say negative things about ourselves. Cultivating a negative image of ourselves with self-hate, blame, and shame. We don’t realize that it is all part of the human experience. We are not perfect, we don’t know everything, and we can’t do everything. It happens.

Learning to be kind to ourselves. Understanding that we are human, and that it is okay to fail and make mistakes. This mindset can create self-compassion and self-love. Failures and mistakes happen, but there is always growth, and learning that cultivate from those experiences. Growth is important for our well-being.

I made mistakes on my first week of work. It is completely normal for that to happen. Instead of being negative towards myself, and blaming myself for the mistakes. I told myself that I don’t know everything, and I am still learning how things work there. I learn from mistakes. We all learn from mistakes. Life is a learning process. This is what failures, mistakes, struggles do.

In a perfect world, we would always be right and successful, but that is not how the world works. We will make mistakes. We will fail. You just have to remind yourself that it is okay. You will learn. You will overcome. It is all part of being a human being. It is all part of life. We all got to go through it. Even successful people fail.

Try not saying things like,”I am stupid,” or “I am a failure,” or “I am not good enough.” You are defining yourself to to that one situation that can deter you from growing from it. Try saying things like,”I can overcome this,” or “I can learn from this,” or “I am human,” or “Perfection doesn’t exist.” This way it keeps your identity away from negativity, and makes you aware of  reality. This can allow you to improve, and grow from those situations.

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