Mindfulness Reminder

I saw this quote in my mindfulness book. I thought it was a lovely and powerful quote about mindfulness. I wanted to share it and say something about it.

It is important to be reminded of what mindfulness is, even with years of mindfulness practice. I sometimes get lost in mindlessness. I really love the quote above. Its all about learning to live in the present, so one can find inner peace and calmness. Living in the past creates sadness, frustration, guilt, regret and sorrow. Living in the future creates stress, tension, anxiety and worry. We can always use the past as a tool to learn and grow, and we can use the future to set goals for ourselves, but clinging to the past or future should be avoided for your mental health and peace of mind.

Finding Your Passion/Finding a Job you Enjoy

I wanted to put these two topics together, because they seem to go hand in hand. We believe finding our passion in a career is the ultimate goal of finding a job you enjoy. I got to say, from my experience and from my research on this topic that isn’t the case. It is very rare to have a career in something you are passionate about. It takes a lot of factors for it to happen. Your drive, motivation, willingness to get out of comfort zone, environment, connections, personality, among other things. There is no one shoe fits all factor when it comes to finding your passion and having a career of that passion. Many factors must come together for one to have a career they are passionate about.

Things in life aren’t always black and white. You can be able to practice your passion and still find a job you enjoy. You don’t necessarily need to build a career from your passion. It is fun just to do it in your spare time. It may be even more enjoyable to do it freely, rather than doing it for work. Time constraints, rules, pressure from others can make your passion less enjoyable in a work environment.

For many, it is difficult finding what they are passionate about. Some people just don’t know. It is totally okay not to know. People tend to feel guilt and shame, because they don’t have anything they are passionate about. You can just have a job you enjoy, without feeling any passion about it. I enjoy my job, but I am not particularly passionate about it. The thing is, I still incorporate my passion in my life. I do what I am passionate about in my free time. Hopefully I’ll be able to build a business from it, but for now I appreciate the opportunity to enjoy my passion when I can.

It isn’t a great feeling dreading coming to work. We are at work most of the time, so it is imperative for your mental well-being to find a job you enjoy. If we enjoy our work, than we are able to enjoy our lives much more, and live more positively, since work fills up most of our lives. I like to write a list of things to look into when searching for a job that can spark joy, or at least make the work week more bearable. I will say searching for a career with your passion is very difficult and can be disappointing when it doesn’t happen, so these other things may be better to look into. I am not saying you shouldn’t find a job you are passionate about, but it shouldn’t be an ultimate goal.

  • Get out of safety Zone-“Do you want to expand or constrict?’ “You are not going to be stuck. You are stuck now.” I heard these quotes from a TED Talk I watched. I really liked them. These quotes are good reminders that staying safe and comfortable isn’t always best for our happiness and growth. Doing something that challenges oneself can be exciting and rewarding. But make sure it isn’t too challenging. That creates stress. A nice balance.
  • Variety– Trying different types of jobs can easily show you what you like and what you don’t. You may be surprised what you actually enjoy doing. This can give you the opportunity to find a job that you like and enjoy.
  • Work Environment Do you like office jobs?, do you like moving around?, do you like your own space? Do you like it to be more quiet? The environment can play a role in what you like about a job. I really like my job, because I get to move around. I am a very active person, so the environment suits my personality making the job more enjoyable.
  • Autonomy-Are you the type who likes to be free and do their own thing? It would be good to look for a job that allows you this freedom. If a place is too controlling and restrictive that can be a downer for an independent individual.
  • Skills-Look for something that enhances and incorporates your skills. Find what your skills are and search for a job that correlates with those skills.
  • Meaning/Value-Does the job add value. Having a meaningful job can be a great way to enjoy what you are doing.
  • Stress-A stressful job can make anyone miserable. The best thing to do is to find a job that reduces the amount of stress on oneself. Stress at a job is normal, but overwhelming stress can be detrimental, especially if there are no benefits to it. Some jobs are stressful that lead to rewards and benefits, but if the stress leads nowhere, than that can be problematic for the individuals well-being.

These last two are for people who have difficulty leaving the job that makes you feel stuck and miserable. It is hard for some to leave the financial stability and comfort of a job.

  • Perspective– See the job from a different point of view, find some good points about it, maybe there is something to it that you didn’t look at. Find some ways to bring joy and excitement to the job if you find it dull and boring. Figuring out ways to step out of the misery, instead of immersing in it.
  • Acceptance-Sometimes we have a job we don’t like. Not everyone will like the job they have. It is what it is. The job puts food on the table, gives you a home, gives you comfort. It does have its benefits. Accepting can be comforting, instead of fighting your disdain for the job. These two options are helpful and comforting, but finding another job would probably be best for your happiness and satisfaction in the long run. Change is hard, harder for some, but it can happen.

Passion for something is great, but it is also interchangeable. It evolves. I was once passionate about being a singer, but I no longer have that passion. This is why it isn’t always best to focus on what makes you passionate when choosing a career. Maybe some people prefer doing things they are passionate about in their free time, rather than the confines of having to do it on a schedule and have strict rules when it comes to their passion. Sometimes it is just hard to find a job with the thing you are passionate about. That is perfectly fine if you can’t find a job that incorporates your passion.

It is important not to beat yourself up for not finding a passion in life, or for not having a career that incorporates one’s passion. Be kind to yourself and realize that everyone’s journey is different. Not everyone know’s what they want to do in life. Having a passion doesn’t define your life. We as humans love to know everything. We are uncomfortable with the unknown/uncertain. It is best for your peace of mind to accept what is and move forward, because forcing yourself to find your passion creates negativity and despair. The problem is we compare ourselves to others who have passion, and have careers related to that passion. The thing is our journey is always different and we all have different paths. Focusing your energy on yourself and your progress is what is important. Remember passion and a career won’t always go together. Find a job that suits your interests, skills, schedule and personality can go along way.

Saturday Food for Thought Post

IMAG0487Practicing mindfulness doesn’t quickly alleviate anxiety, depression, or any other negative emotions. It takes patience, practice, persistence and training. I like the comparison of training for a marathon. Just like you build endurance for a race. You got to take the same steps to get to a more peaceful state of mind. My mind is a lot more at ease now that I have been practicing mindfulness for a couple of years. I keep improving, my negative emotions continue to reduce. Things I couldn’t handle before I am much better at coping with it now. Baby steps, how you cope and handle stressful situations, or difficulties in life will get better. You will be able to find more peace, calm, and happiness in your life. It isn’t a quick fix, but it will eventually get you to a more peaceful place with continuous practice. You will see results little by little.

Choosing Your Perspective

This pretty much goes with the post I recently made. I have recently tested positive for Covid-19, and now in self-isolation. I am pretty much feeling fine now, had some mild symptoms earlier, but I continue to remain calm, peaceful, and positive.

I choose not to let fear, anger, blame, hatred, and negativity consume my being. There are three perspective paths you can take in life. The realistic, negative, or positive one. Reality is I got infected(most likely by someone at work). I now have to let my immune system do its job, but also rest, isolate, and eat healthy, and hope for a smooth recovery.

The negative path can lead to blaming others, myself, and the world. Creating fear within myself to never go out again. Hatred for others, and myself for getting in this situation. Asking why questions that solve nothing. Anger for having to be home, and not being able to exercise, and do nature walks outside. Getting anxious about my work situation, or the bills I will rack up from the hospital visit. All these thoughts can arise from negative thinking.

I choose to not fall down that path. It is a road to depression, self-hate, overall hate, and misery. I choose the positive path. To appreciate that I only gotten mild symptoms so far. This giving me the opportunity to relax, and be home. Giving me a chance to learn about myself, and work on myself. This time gives me a chance to do things I wanted to do.

Challenge myself to be creative, and learn to live a different lifestyle. This gives me the opportunity to read many books I want to read. This isolation has given me the opportunity to talk to many family members I haven’t spoken to in awhile, to catch up and connect with others. Overall, this challenge has shown me how much I have grown as a mindful individual, and how with a mindful heart I can remain positive and happy through it all. I can’t control what has happened, it has happened. Time to accept, and move forward.

Being negative has a negative effect on the body. Remaining positive can help boost your immune system, and help one recover much more smoothly. Your body needs to recover, so being mentally sound can be beneficial to the healing process. I can give into all the negativity surrounding this virus, but there are plenty of people who are able to recover, and get through this just fine. Now that I have it. I should now most likely have immunity to it, and that can be another plus to this. I no longer have much of a fear for it, since I now have it, and been through it. Can this situation be burdensome, yes, but there are, and will be plenty of other situations that will as well.

I just want you to know that you can’t control the circumstances around you, but you can control how you think and handle them. You can choose, which path of perspective you want to go down. Humans have the power of thought. We must use it wisely. Remember, stay safe, take care, stay compassionate, and stay mindful.

 

Building Healthy Relationships

Trust, Respect, love, attention, communication, compromise, and commitment are things mentioned that make up a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship can bring much more joy and happiness to one’s life. The thing is many people struggle to find a healthy relationship, and end up being in one that can be toxic. It is better for our well-being to bring more positive relationships into our lives, rather than negative ones.

Building a healthy relationship is very important in life. This can be for significant others, family or friendships. It is important maintaining healthy relationships. Having someone who we enjoy being around can bring joy, happiness, and enrich our lives. Healthy relationships can also impact us in a positive way. So what goes into a healthy relationship? How does one have a healthy relationship? There are many factors. Here are some I believe can help cultivate a healthy relationship.

The most important factor is first learning to love and accept oneself. You really should know who you are as a person before getting into a serious relationship. I think being mentally stable is also important. You can’t build a relationship if you haven’t built yourself.

It is important to work on yourself first, then work on having a great relationship afterwards. Many people rush into relationships before they are mentally and emotionally mature to handle it. This is what causes problems in a relationship. If you go into a relationship thinking that this person will help improve your self-esteem, or self-image that is not a healthy way to go into a relationship. Self-love comes from you. Your significant other can motivate you and make you a better person, but that has to come naturally. It isn’t something you should force. It is not another person’s responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. That type of pressure is a recipe for disaster. This is why accepting and loving yourself from within you is important.

Remember it isn’t two halves becoming one, but two wholes, becoming a bigger and stronger whole. You are not two halves coming together to make one, but two wholes coming together. In a healthy relationship you both may strengthen each others weaknesses and may help each other to become a better person. That is part of a healthy relationship, but it should happen organically. Everyone should want to grow and improve in life, so it is great to have a significant other, or friend help bring the best out of you. But it all start with you. When you accept and love yourself as a person. It will be easier to have trust and respect in the relationship.

Jealousy in a relationship is due to insecurities, and low self-esteem of an individual. This is not something you want. Also, if you know who you are, then it will be easier for you to know what you want in a significant other. You can weed out the bad seeds a lot easier. When you know your self-worth. You will seek out individuals who will treat you well with love and respect, and you will be less likely to deal with someone who will treat you like crap. We all deserve someone who will treat us with love and respect, but if you don’t have self-love. You will most likely date someone who doesn’t treat you well.

Another factor to a healthy relationship is independence. I think people lose their independence and identity when they are with someone. This is a recipe for disaster. It is great to be together, but everyone needs their space. A couple should not spend all their time together. Both partners should have their time to themselves, hanging out with their own friends, doing their own them. It will keep the novelty in the relationship, so you both won’t get sick of each other. Being with the same person all the time can get boring, and it can lose the spark and interest in the relationship. It is important to have your own life and identity in a relationship, so that when you come together you can talk and learn more from each other.

There are times when your significant other may not enjoy the things you do, so it is best to do those things on your own, or with good friends. It isn’t healthy to only do things that your significant other wants to do, or vice versa. You both should do things you enjoy. If you both enjoy the same things, great! Have a great time together. There also times when you don’t enjoy the same things, and that is when you do your own thing and enjoy what you love. Don’t let anyone hold you back from doing what you enjoy to do, but you also shouldn’t force someone to do something they don’t enjoy either. Many people in relationships want to do everything together, but that isn’t very healthy, and leads to unhappiness in the relationship to eventually breaking up. I am not saying always do your own thing, but in life there should always be balance.

Trust, respect, honesty, equality, support are all parts of a healthy relationship. The two factors I discussed cultivate these things. Self-love and maintaining your individuality are important factors to building a healthy relationship.

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Be Appreciative. Be Positive. Live A Happy Life

I wanted to write this post to share my new mindset of being positive and appreciative. I should make this one of my goals for 2020. I kind of started to do this last year, along my journey with mindfulness. I really like to practice this a bit more this year.

I think this is a great mindset to have. It has made me a much more happy and content person. I like to focus my energy on the positive, and be appreciative of life. I don’t want to be consumed by negativity. I see myself being more at peace, calm, and happy now that I decided to see the bright side of life. I am in control of how I perceive things. I can either choose to be angry, bitter, sad, or miserable, or I can choose to be joyful, appreciative, calm and happy. I choose the latter. We should all choose that path if we want a satisfying and peaceful life. I want to focus my energy on positivity.

I have gotten a mindfulness book this Christmas. There are many wonderful exercises I can do to be mindful. It had me do a lovely exercise of dish washing, but it allowed me to be appreciative of the task, and focus my energy on the moment of the task. How the water felt, how my hands felt,etc. It allowed me to appreciate that I can walk, and use my hands to do the task. I also appreciate that I have clean water, and cleaning supplies to do so as well. It made me see this tedious task in a different light. It made me appreciate it more. If you can learn to appreciate simple tasks like that. It makes you much more appreciative of the whole scheme of things. It makes you appreciate life more.

Work has been difficult at times. I have been exhausted from all the work we have, and overworking myself. I can choose to focus on the disorganization, or the fact that they need more workers, or the fact that I am exhausted from the work and overtime.

But I choose to put my energy on the benefits of having the job. Money to get the things I want, and to experience the things I like. Health benefits that have been useful to me recently, especially Dental. Also, the lovely paycheck I will get from Overtime to help pay off cards and loans I need to pay off. Also, the lovely coworkers I have. That make work a bit more enjoyable. I actually do like my job, but it can be overwhelming at times. I also decided not to overwork myself as much to get things done quicker. I will do what I can, but nothing more. I shouldn’t give more, than everyone else. I tried that practice out Friday, and it made work much more easier and enjoyable. I felt much better.

In the end, it is the choice of the individual how we choose to perceive things. Either we focus on the good or the bad. Either we choose to be miserable or content. It is up to you. I chose happiness and peace of mind. Now I mentioned happiness isn’t stable, but with this mindset you will have a happier mindset. There will be more happiness, rather than sadness. You can be able to enjoy life much more.

I always try to remind myself, why be sad, when you can be happy. Who needs to be negative. When you can be positive. There is enough negativity in the world. I want to spread positivity. Grant it, we will get sad, that is life, but if I can control more happiness in my life. I will do that as much as possible. Always choose happiness over misery when you can. Life will have its bumps. Life will have its struggles. We just got to learn to combat it with positivity and appreciation, and the coping process will become much smoother.

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The Art of Complaining

Complaining is that act of expression of annoyance or dissatisfaction in something.  I like to write this post for my readers, so you don’t fall into the trap of complaining, whether it be receiving, or giving. Expressing our feelings of annoyance and dissatisfaction can be good for us. The problem lies is when it is consistent, constant, and negative. This is how complaining can be a problem for yourself and others.

Being a complainer, and being on the other end of a complainer cultivates negativity. Avoiding negativity is something we should try to do. Complaining can be burdensome, so it best to avoid this problem child at all cost.

There is a difference between complaining, and sharing your concerns. There is nothing wrong with sharing your concerns. Talking about what is bothering you can be helpful and therapeutic. This is about sharing your thoughts with someone, having someone listen,  showing compassion and empathy, and maybe them sharing their thoughts on the situation. The person may take things said into consideration, and come to a conclusion, or solution on their own. This is a healthy talk.

Now when someone talks about things in a negative light, only focusing on the negative of the situation, refuses to listen to others thoughts, refuses to find solutions or take action, and continues to talk about the same problem over and over again with absolutely no solution is when it becomes unhealthy, burdensome, and honestly rather annoying.

This behavior is toxic, negative, and pretty selfish on the individual’s part, if I say so. We must remember that the world doesn’t evolve around you, me, or anyone. Your problems are your problems, no one else’s. The individual is the only one who can fix the problem of the individual. Spreading your negativity to others just puts the complainer in a bad light among others.

A complainer should remember that we all have problems, and we don’t need more problems pushed on us. What if an individual is dealing with things, and wants to step away from their own problems, and wants to be positive, or be around positive energy?, but a complainer decides to push their negative behavior on to them, talking about all their problems, and creating negative energy. This then, pushes them back down to negativity.

This is something to think about when complaining. Everyone has their battles. No one is special in this aspect. Being compassionate, and understanding that others are struggling, and may not want your problems, and negativity is an important skill to have. It is also best as the receiver to stay away from a person with this bad habit. We must learn to keep negative energy away from ourselves.

We must learn as individuals that nothing beneficial comes from complaining. It creates negativity. It pushes people away from you, because really, who wants that type of negativity in their lives? It is also annoying and burdensome to deal with. It solves nothing, because the individual isn’t trying to find a solution. They just want others pity and sympathy, but the opposite tends to happen. The thing we must learn is to express our problems in a more constructive way, and the realization that the individual problems can only be fixed by the individual.

If you have a problem, talk to others, hear their thoughts, be realistic, and don’t make excuses. Look to figure out how to deal with the problem. If you do these things it will stop you from a consistent pattern of complaining about the same thing.

You are in control of how things work out in your life. We must try to make a positive impact on ourselves and others, not cultivate negative energy. We must build others up, support them. Avoiding complaining is one way to do so.

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Positive Habits of 2019

The new year is closing in. I would like to continue my reflection posts of 2019. I would like to talk about the positive habits I built this year. I think it is good for the soul to focus on the good things I have done this year.

Improving my mental, physical, and emotional health has been an important part of my mindfulness journey. Developing positive habits has been integral to my self-growth and development. It helps build character. Building positive, rather than bad habits can help improve the mind and body.

Implementing these habits have been a wonderful addition to my life. It is good for the mind, and body to build your life around positive habits. Continuously doing things to benefit yourself is what an individual needs to evolve as a person. Remind yourself, what benefits me, and try to do those things, if it does not, try to remove it. Why make life more difficult than it should be? It is about taking control, and creating positive energy around you. Here is my list of positive habits I created this year.

1.Drinking more water/less sugar drinks-I love to drink, but I was drinking way too many juices a day for my liking. Juice has lots of sugar that my body doesn’t need. I decided to replace it with water. It was tough at first, but now I drink more water throughout the day. It helped reduce my sugar intake by a lot. It gives me more energy. It has helped me lose weight, and maintain my weight. The body needs water, so why not give it what it needs. Also we can make a mistake of being hungry, rather than being dehydrated. If you feel hungry. It is sometimes good to try water first. It may be dehydration. Water is your friend folks.

2.Activity for at least 30 minutes-Exercise is important, not just to lose weight, or to be skinny. It is integral to have at least 30 minutes of activity a day. The body needs it, so I try to exercise, be it running outside, or at the gym, doing yoga, or doing jump rope at home. Exercise gives me energy, and allows me to maintain my weight. I like to be as healthy as I can now, so I don’t pay for it when I get older. Although, I can’t control everything. I try to control as much as I can for my physical health.

3.Eat nutritional foods-Someone mentioned on a TED talk I watched,”eat for nutrition, not for weight loss.” That really resonated with me. People don’t realize that eating healthy isn’t to be skinny, or lose weight. I thought this too. It is to give your body the much needed nutrients. Most people don’t give their bodies the nutrients it needs. This creates many diseases. I have eaten much more nutritional food this year(fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans). These are all good for your body. I usually do the 80-20,90-10 rule. I still eat my cookies, cakes and chocolates. I just eat them less. This has given my body more energy, and has made me more alert mentally. I just feel good all around.

4.Less Judgment-Being more mindful. Has made me less judgmental towards others, and myself. I have gotten so much better at looking at perspectives. I still judge from time to time, but nowhere near as much as before. I know it isn’t my place to judge others, and I know I have to be more kind to myself by not judging myself harshly. Judgment just creates negative energy I don’t need.

5.More compassion-This goes along with judgment. Being more compassionate means being less judgmental. I am more understanding of others actions and opinions. I am understanding of mistakes I and others make. This creates positivity and peace around me. Understanding myself and others. Looking through different perspective has changed my life for the better. It helps to push away negative energy, and to just be happy for myself and others. Compassion allows me not to carry resent or anger towards another. I don’t need that negativity in my life, and neither should anyone else.

5.Creating Mindful Time-I have made it a habit to have mindful time(meditation, journaling,writing, reading,coloring). I just like to be in the moment with no distractions. I take about an hour a day to do this. This calms my mind. It gives me clarity. It makes me creative. It helps me learn more about myself. This habit has been wonderful to me.

6.Positive mindset-I am a lot more positive about things, than I have ever been. Whenever I am feeling down about going to work, or doing something I don’t want to do. I try my best to stay positive. I tell myself,”be positive, you’ll get through it.” It works. I try to remain as positive as I can through out the day, because honestly why be negative. Why be sad, angry, annoyed. I don’t like feeling those emotions, so I do my best to avoid them when I can. I go about my day, put a smile on my face, and keep going. This mindset has allowed me to move on from negative thoughts, and emotions much more easily. If I have a choice. I rather be happy, so I choose that path as much as I can.

And these are the lovely habits I have created this year. I hope I can build more in 2020, we’ll see. I also hope these carry on to 2020. I am sure they will, once you build a habit. It is pretty hard to lose it. That is why building positive habits that benefit us is so important, so we can continue to do things that make us stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. I hope this gets you to think of positive habits you built this year. If you like to write it down in the comments. I loved to hear. Always do things to improve yourself, and that has benefits to your mind and body.

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Evolving or Changing as a Person

I had a nice conversation with my friend, and it made me think of what the differences are between these two. I was asked what is the difference, aren’t they the same? Yes, they can be seen as the same, but from my perspective I don’t see it that way. They can go hand in hand. They can be used interchangeably, but I see them as different when it comes to changing as a person, and evolving as a person.

When I think of someone wanting to change as a person. I see it more as a person not accepting who they are, and wanting to push away from the person they are. I see it as the person wanting to focus more on the parts of them they are not happy with, than the parts they are happy about. When someone says they want to change, do you really want to change yourself completely?, do you really want to rid of the amazing qualities you do have?, or do you want to change the qualities you don’t like? Wanting a change to me is changing who you are. Do you not like who you are?

I think we should all appreciate, and accept who we are, the things we like, and the things we don’t. Wanting to change pulls us away from who we really are. It is like you don’t like the person you are. I don’t want individuals to pull away from who they are. I don’t want them to not like who they are. We are all wonderful. We all have qualities, and quirks that make you, you. I just like an individual to expand on who they are.

This is where evolving comes from. I like the phrase evolving as a person, rather than changing. It is expanding on who you are. It is about developing and growing. It is about an expansion on the already awesome person you are. It is about improving on the qualities that you are not to proud of, but keeping the qualities you love about yourself. It is adding value, positivity, insight, knowledge, and wisdom to your being that you may not have had before.

Life is all about evolving. We have done it, since the beginning of time. It allows us to survive in this ever changing world. Evolving gives us room to learn, to be more knowledgeable, to be more compassionate, to be more mindful, to be more creative etc. It gives us room to grow, but it allows us to keep parts of who we are that we love and accept. There are amazing qualities in all us that we must retain. We can learn to accept the flaws as well. The great thing about evolving is that we can improve, and work on them. Life would be boring if we were all perfect. Growing and expanding is an important part of our life journey.

So in conclusion, wanting to change to me is more about pulling away from who you are. Not accepting the person you are. Mindfulness is all about accepting who you are, appreciating the qualities that make you awesome, and learning to accept the ones you aren’t proud of. It is all still part of you. We all have these type of qualities. That is what makes us human.

Now wanting to evolve gives us the opportunity to become a better version of ourselves, and work on those things that we may not like. I like to say I am evolving as a person. It just sounds much better to me. I appreciate my whole being, and I truly hope others start to as well.

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Depend On Yourself

We should try to learn to depend on ourselves. Try not to look to others, or external things to bring us happiness or fulfillment. Being independent can be a tough battle. What many don’t understand is that being dependent on others can lead to misery, sadness, loneliness, and disappointment.

Others aren’t always going to be there, or say the right thing. Others can’t fix you. That must come from you. Learning to fix yourself promotes freedom, strength, and peace of mind. There is so much strength in being able to get yourself out of the tough times, struggles, or down times. I mean, doesn’t it feel great when you are able to fix things on your own?

Now asking for advice, or guidance is not a problem. We all need guidance, but it becomes a problem when you expect others to fix, or solve the problems you are having. The thing is no one else, or any external thing can solve it. That must always come from the individual, so being able to learn how to self cope is important.

We all have our own problems, struggles, and battles. We must remember that it is no one’s job to fix us, and it isn’t our job to fix others. I can’t give others happiness, satisfaction, or fulfillment, and others can’t do that for me. We as individuals must learn to do that ourselves.

Society may allow us to think that we must be around others all the time. I get it we are social creatures, but trying to be by yourself, and do your own thing is just as important. I am not saying live in total isolation. You always need balance. Being able to be alone can allow you to be free. It can help you learn about yourself, reflect on who you are, and give you the chance to accept the person you are, which then can help you learn how to deal with down times on your own, without the help of others, or outside sources.

So try doing your own thing. Try depending on yourself. There is a stigma of being alone, and there really shouldn’t. How can we know who we are, if we look to others to define us? , or depend on others all the time? If we don’t spend some quality time alone? You can’t. We must give ourselves the space to be free, grow, and develop.

Doing my own thing gives me the space to do the things I enjoy that maybe I can’t do with others. It is the time I truly feel free. Connecting with others, being around others is great, and very important. On the other side, being alone can be just as great. We need our independence, our individuality. Dependency strips us from our individuality, and freedom.

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