Practicing mindfulness doesn’t quickly alleviate anxiety, depression, or any other negative emotions. It takes patience, practice, persistence and training. I like the comparison of training for a marathon. Just like you build endurance for a race. You got to take the same steps to get to a more peaceful state of mind. My mind is a lot more at ease now that I have been practicing mindfulness for a couple of years. I keep improving, my negative emotions continue to reduce. Things I couldn’t handle before I am much better at coping with it now. Baby steps, how you cope and handle stressful situations, or difficulties in life will get better. You will be able to find more peace, calm, and happiness in your life. It isn’t a quick fix, but it will eventually get you to a more peaceful place with continuous practice. You will see results little by little.
This pretty much goes with the post I recently made. I have recently tested positive for Covid-19, and now in self-isolation. I am pretty much feeling fine now, had some mild symptoms earlier, but I continue to remain calm, peaceful, and positive.
I choose not to let fear, anger, blame, hatred, and negativity consume my being. There are three perspective paths you can take in life. The realistic, negative, or positive one. Reality is I got infected(most likely by someone at work). I now have to let my immune system do its job, but also rest, isolate, and eat healthy, and hope for a smooth recovery.
The negative path can lead to blaming others, myself, and the world. Creating fear within myself to never go out again. Hatred for others, and myself for getting in this situation. Asking why questions that solve nothing. Anger for having to be home, and not being able to exercise, and do nature walks outside. Getting anxious about my work situation, or the bills I will rack up from the hospital visit. All these thoughts can arise from negative thinking.
I choose to not fall down that path. It is a road to depression, self-hate, overall hate, and misery. I choose the positive path. To appreciate that I only gotten mild symptoms so far. This giving me the opportunity to relax, and be home. Giving me a chance to learn about myself, and work on myself. This time gives me a chance to do things I wanted to do.
Challenge myself to be creative, and learn to live a different lifestyle. This gives me the opportunity to read many books I want to read. This isolation has given me the opportunity to talk to many family members I haven’t spoken to in awhile, to catch up and connect with others. Overall, this challenge has shown me how much I have grown as a mindful individual, and how with a mindful heart I can remain positive and happy through it all. I can’t control what has happened, it has happened. Time to accept, and move forward.
Being negative has a negative effect on the body. Remaining positive can help boost your immune system, and help one recover much more smoothly. Your body needs to recover, so being mentally sound can be beneficial to the healing process. I can give into all the negativity surrounding this virus, but there are plenty of people who are able to recover, and get through this just fine. Now that I have it. I should now most likely have immunity to it, and that can be another plus to this. I no longer have much of a fear for it, since I now have it, and been through it. Can this situation be burdensome, yes, but there are, and will be plenty of other situations that will as well.
I just want you to know that you can’t control the circumstances around you, but you can control how you think and handle them. You can choose, which path of perspective you want to go down. Humans have the power of thought. We must use it wisely. Remember, stay safe, take care, stay compassionate, and stay mindful.
Trust, Respect, love, attention, communication, compromise, and commitment are things mentioned that make up a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship can bring much more joy and happiness to one’s life. The thing is many people struggle to find a healthy relationship, and end up being in one that can be toxic. It is better for our well-being to bring more positive relationships into our lives, rather than negative ones.
Building a healthy relationship is very important in life. This can be for significant others, family or friendships. It is important maintaining healthy relationships. Having someone who we enjoy being around can bring joy, happiness, and enrich our lives. Healthy relationships can also impact us in a positive way. So what goes into a healthy relationship? How does one have a healthy relationship? There are many factors. Here are some I believe can help cultivate a healthy relationship.
The most important factor is first learning to love and accept oneself. You really should know who you are as a person before getting into a serious relationship. I think being mentally stable is also important. You can’t build a relationship if you haven’t built yourself.
It is important to work on yourself first, then work on having a great relationship afterwards. Many people rush into relationships before they are mentally and emotionally mature to handle it. This is what causes problems in a relationship. If you go into a relationship thinking that this person will help improve your self-esteem, or self-image that is not a healthy way to go into a relationship. Self-love comes from you. Your significant other can motivate you and make you a better person, but that has to come naturally. It isn’t something you should force. It is not another person’s responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. That type of pressure is a recipe for disaster. This is why accepting and loving yourself from within you is important.
Remember it isn’t two halves becoming one, but two wholes, becoming a bigger and stronger whole. You are not two halves coming together to make one, but two wholes coming together. In a healthy relationship you both may strengthen each others weaknesses and may help each other to become a better person. That is part of a healthy relationship, but it should happen organically. Everyone should want to grow and improve in life, so it is great to have a significant other, or friend help bring the best out of you. But it all start with you. When you accept and love yourself as a person. It will be easier to have trust and respect in the relationship.
Jealousy in a relationship is due to insecurities, and low self-esteem of an individual. This is not something you want. Also, if you know who you are, then it will be easier for you to know what you want in a significant other. You can weed out the bad seeds a lot easier. When you know your self-worth. You will seek out individuals who will treat you well with love and respect, and you will be less likely to deal with someone who will treat you like crap. We all deserve someone who will treat us with love and respect, but if you don’t have self-love. You will most likely date someone who doesn’t treat you well.
Another factor to a healthy relationship is independence. I think people lose their independence and identity when they are with someone. This is a recipe for disaster. It is great to be together, but everyone needs their space. A couple should not spend all their time together. Both partners should have their time to themselves, hanging out with their own friends, doing their own them. It will keep the novelty in the relationship, so you both won’t get sick of each other. Being with the same person all the time can get boring, and it can lose the spark and interest in the relationship. It is important to have your own life and identity in a relationship, so that when you come together you can talk and learn more from each other.
There are times when your significant other may not enjoy the things you do, so it is best to do those things on your own, or with good friends. It isn’t healthy to only do things that your significant other wants to do, or vice versa. You both should do things you enjoy. If you both enjoy the same things, great! Have a great time together. There also times when you don’t enjoy the same things, and that is when you do your own thing and enjoy what you love. Don’t let anyone hold you back from doing what you enjoy to do, but you also shouldn’t force someone to do something they don’t enjoy either. Many people in relationships want to do everything together, but that isn’t very healthy, and leads to unhappiness in the relationship to eventually breaking up. I am not saying always do your own thing, but in life there should always be balance.
Trust, respect, honesty, equality, support are all parts of a healthy relationship. The two factors I discussed cultivate these things. Self-love and maintaining your individuality are important factors to building a healthy relationship.
I wanted to write this post to share my new mindset of being positive and appreciative. I should make this one of my goals for 2020. I kind of started to do this last year, along my journey with mindfulness. I really like to practice this a bit more this year.
I think this is a great mindset to have. It has made me a much more happy and content person. I like to focus my energy on the positive, and be appreciative of life. I don’t want to be consumed by negativity. I see myself being more at peace, calm, and happy now that I decided to see the bright side of life. I am in control of how I perceive things. I can either choose to be angry, bitter, sad, or miserable, or I can choose to be joyful, appreciative, calm and happy. I choose the latter. We should all choose that path if we want a satisfying and peaceful life. I want to focus my energy on positivity.
I have gotten a mindfulness book this Christmas. There are many wonderful exercises I can do to be mindful. It had me do a lovely exercise of dish washing, but it allowed me to be appreciative of the task, and focus my energy on the moment of the task. How the water felt, how my hands felt,etc. It allowed me to appreciate that I can walk, and use my hands to do the task. I also appreciate that I have clean water, and cleaning supplies to do so as well. It made me see this tedious task in a different light. It made me appreciate it more. If you can learn to appreciate simple tasks like that. It makes you much more appreciative of the whole scheme of things. It makes you appreciate life more.
Work has been difficult at times. I have been exhausted from all the work we have, and overworking myself. I can choose to focus on the disorganization, or the fact that they need more workers, or the fact that I am exhausted from the work and overtime.
But I choose to put my energy on the benefits of having the job. Money to get the things I want, and to experience the things I like. Health benefits that have been useful to me recently, especially Dental. Also, the lovely paycheck I will get from Overtime to help pay off cards and loans I need to pay off. Also, the lovely coworkers I have. That make work a bit more enjoyable. I actually do like my job, but it can be overwhelming at times. I also decided not to overwork myself as much to get things done quicker. I will do what I can, but nothing more. I shouldn’t give more, than everyone else. I tried that practice out Friday, and it made work much more easier and enjoyable. I felt much better.
In the end, it is the choice of the individual how we choose to perceive things. Either we focus on the good or the bad. Either we choose to be miserable or content. It is up to you. I chose happiness and peace of mind. Now I mentioned happiness isn’t stable, but with this mindset you will have a happier mindset. There will be more happiness, rather than sadness. You can be able to enjoy life much more.
I always try to remind myself, why be sad, when you can be happy. Who needs to be negative. When you can be positive. There is enough negativity in the world. I want to spread positivity. Grant it, we will get sad, that is life, but if I can control more happiness in my life. I will do that as much as possible. Always choose happiness over misery when you can. Life will have its bumps. Life will have its struggles. We just got to learn to combat it with positivity and appreciation, and the coping process will become much smoother.
Complaining is that act of expression of annoyance or dissatisfaction in something. I like to write this post for my readers, so you don’t fall into the trap of complaining, whether it be receiving, or giving. Expressing our feelings of annoyance and dissatisfaction can be good for us. The problem lies is when it is consistent, constant, and negative. This is how complaining can be a problem for yourself and others.
Being a complainer, and being on the other end of a complainer cultivates negativity. Avoiding negativity is something we should try to do. Complaining can be burdensome, so it best to avoid this problem child at all cost.
There is a difference between complaining, and sharing your concerns. There is nothing wrong with sharing your concerns. Talking about what is bothering you can be helpful and therapeutic. This is about sharing your thoughts with someone, having someone listen, showing compassion and empathy, and maybe them sharing their thoughts on the situation. The person may take things said into consideration, and come to a conclusion, or solution on their own. This is a healthy talk.
Now when someone talks about things in a negative light, only focusing on the negative of the situation, refuses to listen to others thoughts, refuses to find solutions or take action, and continues to talk about the same problem over and over again with absolutely no solution is when it becomes unhealthy, burdensome, and honestly rather annoying.
This behavior is toxic, negative, and pretty selfish on the individual’s part, if I say so. We must remember that the world doesn’t evolve around you, me, or anyone. Your problems are your problems, no one else’s. The individual is the only one who can fix the problem of the individual. Spreading your negativity to others just puts the complainer in a bad light among others.
A complainer should remember that we all have problems, and we don’t need more problems pushed on us. What if an individual is dealing with things, and wants to step away from their own problems, and wants to be positive, or be around positive energy?, but a complainer decides to push their negative behavior on to them, talking about all their problems, and creating negative energy. This then, pushes them back down to negativity.
This is something to think about when complaining. Everyone has their battles. No one is special in this aspect. Being compassionate, and understanding that others are struggling, and may not want your problems, and negativity is an important skill to have. It is also best as the receiver to stay away from a person with this bad habit. We must learn to keep negative energy away from ourselves.
We must learn as individuals that nothing beneficial comes from complaining. It creates negativity. It pushes people away from you, because really, who wants that type of negativity in their lives. It is also annoying and burdensome to deal with. It solves nothing, because the individual isn’t trying to find a solution. They just want others pity and sympathy, but the opposite tends to happen. The thing we must learn is to express our problems in a more constructive way, and the realization that the individual problems can only be fixed by the individual.
If you have a problem, talk to others, hear their thoughts, be realistic, and don’t make excuses. Look to figure out how to deal with the problem. If you do these things it will stop you from a consistent pattern of complaining about the same thing.
You are in control of how things work out in your life. We must try to make a positive impact on ourselves and others, not cultivate negative energy. We must build others up, support them. Avoiding complaining is one way to do so.
The new year is closing in. I would like to continue my reflection posts of 2019. I would like to talk about the positive habits I built this year. I think it is good for the soul to focus on the good things I have done this year.
Improving my mental, physical, and emotional health has been an important part of my mindfulness journey. Developing positive habits has been integral to my self-growth and development. It helps build character. Building positive, rather than bad habits can help improve the mind and body.
Implementing these habits have been a wonderful addition to my life. It is good for the mind, and body to build your life around positive habits. Continuously doing things to benefit yourself is what an individual needs to evolve as a person. Remind yourself, what benefits me, and try to do those things, if it does not, try to remove it. Why make life more difficult than it should be? It is about taking control, and creating positive energy around you. Here is my list of positive habits I created this year.
1.Drinking more water/less sugar drinks-I love to drink, but I was drinking way too many juices a day for my liking. Juice has lots of sugar that my body doesn’t need. I decided to replace it with water. It was tough at first, but now I drink more water throughout the day. It helped reduce my sugar intake by a lot. It gives me more energy. It has helped me lose weight, and maintain my weight. The body needs water, so why not give it what it needs. Also we can make a mistake of being hungry, rather than being dehydrated. If you feel hungry. It is sometimes good to try water first. It may be dehydration. Water is your friend folks.
2.Activity for at least 30 minutes-Exercise is important, not just to lose weight, or to be skinny. It is integral to have at least 30 minutes of activity a day. The body needs it, so I try to exercise, be it running outside, or at the gym, doing yoga, or doing jump rope at home. Exercise gives me energy, and allows me to maintain my weight. I like to be as healthy as I can now, so I don’t pay for it when I get older. Although, I can’t control everything. I try to control as much as I can for my physical health.
3.Eat nutritional foods-Someone mentioned on a TED talk I watched,”eat for nutrition, not for weight loss.” That really resonated with me. People don’t realize that eating healthy isn’t to be skinny, or lose weight. I thought this too. It is to give your body the much needed nutrients. Most people don’t give their bodies the nutrients it needs. This creates many diseases. I have eaten much more nutritional food this year(fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans). These are all good for your body. I usually do the 80-20,90-10 rule. I still eat my cookies, cakes and chocolates. I just eat them less. This has given my body more energy, and has made me more alert mentally. I just feel good all around.
4.Less Judgment-Being more mindful. Has made me less judgmental towards others, and myself. I have gotten so much better at looking at perspectives. I still judge from time to time, but nowhere near as much as before. I know it isn’t my place to judge others, and I know I have to be more kind to myself by not judging myself harshly. Judgment just creates negative energy I don’t need.
5.More compassion-This goes along with judgment. Being more compassionate means being less judgmental. I am more understanding of others actions and opinions. I am understanding of mistakes I and others make. This creates positivity and peace around me. Understanding myself and others. Looking through different perspective has changed my life for the better. It helps to push away negative energy, and to just be happy for myself and others. Compassion allows me not to carry resent or anger towards another. I don’t need that negativity in my life, and neither should anyone else.
5.Creating Mindful Time-I have made it a habit to have mindful time(meditation, journaling,writing, reading,coloring). I just like to be in the moment with no distractions. I take about an hour a day to do this. This calms my mind. It gives me clarity. It makes me creative. It helps me learn more about myself. This habit has been wonderful to me.
6.Positive mindset-I am a lot more positive about things, than I have ever been. Whenever I am feeling down about going to work, or doing something I don’t want to do. I try my best to stay positive. I tell myself,”be positive, you’ll get through it.” It works. I try to remain as positive as I can through out the day, because honestly why be negative. Why be sad, angry, annoyed. I don’t like feeling those emotions, so I do my best to avoid them when I can. I go about my day, put a smile on my face, and keep going. This mindset has allowed me to move on from negative thoughts, and emotions much more easily. If I have a choice. I rather be happy, so I choose that path as much as I can.
And these are the lovely habits I have created this year. I hope I can build more in 2020, we’ll see. I also hope these carry on to 2020. I am sure they will, once you build a habit. It is pretty hard to lose it. That is why building positive habits that benefit us is so important, so we can continue to do things that make us stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. I hope this gets you to think of positive habits you built this year. If you like to write it down in the comments. I loved to hear. Always do things to improve yourself, and that has benefits to your mind and body.
I had a nice conversation with my friend, and it made me think of what the differences are between these two. I was asked what is the difference, aren’t they the same? Yes, they can be seen as the same, but from my perspective I don’t see it that way. They can go hand in hand. They can be used interchangeably, but I see them as different when it comes to changing as a person, and evolving as a person.
When I think of someone wanting to change as a person. I see it more as a person not accepting who they are, and wanting to push away from the person they are. I see it as the person wanting to focus more on the parts of them they are not happy with, than the parts they are happy about. When someone says they want to change, do you really want to change yourself completely?, do you really want to rid of the amazing qualities you do have?, or do you want to change the qualities you don’t like? Wanting a change to me is changing who you are. Do you not like who you are?
I think we should all appreciate, and accept who we are, the things we like, and the things we don’t. Wanting to change pulls us away from who we really are. It is like you don’t like the person you are. I don’t want individuals to pull away from who they are. I don’t want them to not like who they are. We are all wonderful. We all have qualities, and quirks that make you, you. I just like an individual to expand on who they are.
This is where evolving comes from. I like the phrase evolving as a person, rather than changing. It is expanding on who you are. It is about developing and growing. It is about an expansion on the already awesome person you are. It is about improving on the qualities that you are not to proud of, but keeping the qualities you love about yourself. It is adding value, positivity, insight, knowledge, and wisdom to your being that you may not have had before.
Life is all about evolving. We have done it, since the beginning of time. It allows us to survive in this ever changing world. Evolving gives us room to learn, to be more knowledgeable, to be more compassionate, to be more mindful, to be more creative etc. It gives us room to grow, but it allows us to keep parts of who we are that we love and accept. There are amazing qualities in all us that we must retain. We can learn to accept the flaws as well. The great thing about evolving is that we can improve, and work on them. Life would be boring if we were all perfect. Growing and expanding is an important part of our life journey.
So in conclusion, wanting to change to me is more about pulling away from who you are. Not accepting the person you are. Mindfulness is all about accepting who you are, appreciating the qualities that make you awesome, and learning to accept the ones you aren’t proud of. It is all still part of you. We all have these type of qualities. That is what makes us human.
Now wanting to evolve gives us the opportunity to become a better version of ourselves, and work on those things that we may not like. I like to say I am evolving as a person. It just sounds much better to me. I appreciate my whole being, and I truly hope others start to as well.