Minfulness Journal(sharing my thoughts)

I sit here trying to figure out what to write for my next post. I have ideas, but don’t know how to create a topic around them. I stepped away from the screen, because I needed space to think. I found it a waste of time watching Youtube videos and scrolling. I have lots of thoughts about things, but how do I put it together?

I had a mindful/mostly off screen Saturday. It was nice. I connected with a friend. I read. I colored. I took a short walk. Sunday morning I did my plant care. I went for a walk, but unfortunately couldn’t be there for long. I was mostly on Youtube the rest of the day. I felt a bit of guilt for not being more mindful. But why?

I shouldn’t force myself to be mindful. It should be when I want. Mindful activities should be enjoyable. Not a chore. I don’t always have to force myself to be productive and mindful. I like to be passive from time to time. In the passenger seat. It is nice to take it easy from time to time. To watch entertaining content.

I am happy I get to sit and get all this out in written format. I feel a sense of relief. Although it was in my mind. Writing it out feels much better for the soul. There is just something wonderful about writing your thoughts out, rather than having it all stuck in your mind. Seeing the words formulate in front of me cultivates relief and peace.

I create this post as a reminder if there is a lot going in your mind. To consider writing it down. It can be quite therapeutic. Also, that you don’t have to be mindful all the time. It shouldn’t be planned, but rather an activity to create peace of mind in this stressful, noisy and busy world we live in.

What is self-care?

I have seen a lot of videos on how self-care is toxic, or creates narcissism. I truly believe the self-care they are discussing isn’t self-care in the truest sense. The self-care they are discussing is searching for happiness, and trying to be as successful as one can be, and striving to reach goals no matter what. Putting value in yourself, not others. I wouldn’t call that self care. It is more self-indulgence. I can see why that behavior can be toxic, and create narcissism. I think it is important for people to know what self-care is, so they don’t confuse it with toxic behaviors that create more misery.

“Self-care is anything you do to take care of yourself so you can stay physically, mentally, and emotionally well. Its benefits are better physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. Research suggests self-care promotes positive health outcomes, such as fostering resilience, living longer, and becoming better equipped to manage stress.”(everydaymentalhralth.com).

Self-care is about making yourself a priority. It is about validation your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Although, you are a priority. It does not mean hurting others to benefit oneself, or putting others down to pull yourself up. You still make sacrifices and compromises, but you shouldn’t put others needs before oneself at all times. Your mental and physical health comes first. You can’t have that when you continuously sacrifice yourself for others.

Connections are important. Self-care isn’t about pushing others away, and just focusing on you. Solitude is important to center yourself to who you are, and to give you space to enjoy one’s company. We are social creatures that feed on connections from others. Connecting with others is a part of self-care, along with solitude. Treat yourself right, and you can treat others just as well.

Self-care isn’t about buying the most expensive thing to treat yourself. If it adds value, and brings joy that sure, do it, but it isn’t essential. It isn’t about reaching your goals, and striving for success. Yes, you can do these things, but it isn’t the only thing to focus on. It is about appreciating what you have, and enjoying the journey to get to where you want.

Self-care is about creating hobbies that spark joy and peace in your life. It is about cultivating habits that promote a healthier individual physically, emotionally and mentally. Self-care is about accepting who you are, your strengths and flaws. It isn’t about searching for perfection, but learning to appreciate your strengths, and to work on improving your weaknesses. Accepting comes into play when flaws can’t easily be improved.

People sometimes lose the meaning of self-care for their own self indulgence. Self-care is about finding ways to bring peace into your life. It is about working on yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. A holistic approach to become a better individual, and to live life as fully as one can. Learning to connect with yourself and others is the true nature of self-care.

Solitude Mood

Connections are important, but at the moment. I just don’t have the space or energy to connect in person with others. I just want to do my own thing at the moment. There is nothing wrong with wanting alone time.

My family is having a gathering, but I just am not in the mood to be a part of it. I prefer to spend my time doing my own thing. Doing the things I enjoy. I want to read, color, write, hear my own thoughts, relax. There is much freedom with alone time. We don’t always need to fill our space with another person.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home, and do your own thing, or just wanting to go out on your own. You get to do things on your own terms and timetable. I do love connecting with friends and family, but this is not the time for me. As an introvert, I need space to recharge. Connecting take energy, and I don’t have any for it. Others may not understand this need for space, but they don’t need to. This is about my happiness and peace. Always remember to make time for yourself when needed. and if you can.

Comparisons/Jealousy

This tends to hit us when we focus on just the positives of others lives, and focus on the things they have that we are missing. We want that part of their lives we don’t have. We see the grass greener on their side. But is it really?

We forget that others have their drawbacks as well. Everything in life has its pros and cons. All of us as individuals are blessed with things others don’t have. If you dig deeper. You realize you have something they don’t have. You recognize that their life isn’t all that great as a whole. It is just that aspect of comparison/jealousy that seems better. Things in life isn’t all great or all bad. There are good and bad aspects.

Reflect and appreciate what you do have. Learn from the things you don’t have, and if you really want it, work for it, don’t dwell, and make a change. Your life has just as much value as any other individual. You just got to believe it, and take action. We all have value. We all have positive aspects to our lives. We also all have downfalls and drawbacks. Rather than just focusing on yours and making comparisons. Remember that other people’s lives isn’t as perfect as you think, and that they have drawbacks and insecurities as well. Remind yourself that you have things to be proud of, and appreciative of as well.

Mindfulness and Judging

With mindfulness practice we should try to limit judgment of ourselves, others, and the world around us. I have gotten better at not judging myself, and the world, but it still has been difficult not judging others. I recognize that judgment of others is more a reflection of myself, than others.

With mindfulness I have been able to become aware of when I judge others. It starts with awareness. After that, I reflect on why I am making this judgment. It is to compare?, to compete?, to feel superior?, or is it that they don’t fit my standard? It could be all of these things. Remember that the person you are judging has no clue you are doing it, so how productive can it be?

Judging others puts a negative stain on the person judging. It fuels hatred, jealousy, bitterness, and anger. Why do I need to create these emotions when I don’t have to. We can’t stop ourselves from judging. It is an innate human quality, but we can control how much and how long it consumes our lives. Become aware, reflect, learn and move forward. No use in dwelling over something you can’t change, and if you can, say something and take action in a positive and productive way.

Changes

As the season changes. The scenery and weather changes. For some, it may not change. I absolutely love the season change. I love the different feels of the seasons. Autumn is the time to settle down. To enjoy the colors of the leaves. The cooler weather. The beginning of a new season is always enjoyable for me.

A we embrace the new season. We should also learn to embrace the many changes we will face in life. It can be difficult at first, but eventually you will settle into it. Changes are part of life. We evolve. The people around us evolve. We may lose something, and that hurts, but there can always be something to gain as well.

It is okay to be sad and upset about changes, but dwelling on it leads to misery. Learning to figure out ways to move forward is more useful to you. Life is not stagnant. It is forever evolving. It gives you the room to grow and learn. Change cultivates new knowledge and perspective. It can help force you to do something different. You may realize that this change was for the best. Once you settle into it. You except, and you move forward. Life keeps moving on. Changes don’t destroy us. They just make us a different individual. They give life a new twist.

165 Quotes About Change In Your Life and In The World (2021)

Mindful Hobbies

I haven’t been as motivated to write lately. My productivity levels on writing oscillates from time to time. I thought of this idea to discuss my favorite mindful activities, and it has pushed me to write, so thought it would be a good idea to write this. I have been pretty busy with other fun activities, connecting with family and friends, so I haven’t had the energy to write. My next trip is to the beach, so I thought I will write something before then.

It is important to get out, connect, and do fun activities with others. It allows you to be in the moment, and enjoy the life, and the people around you. Mindful activities are a way to get a way from the noise of the world, from the busyness. To just be with oneself, your thoughts, your creativity. To do the things you enjoy doing. I will list a couple of my favorite mindful activities. I am sure you have similar hobbies to mine, and I am sure you have plenty of different ones.

  • Coloring-I have been really into this one as of late. It take a bit of time and energy, but it is nice getting immersed in it. Using your hands to create something is quite lovely and enjoyable. I also enjoy the finished product. I like to put the finished production my wall. I have a coloring book that has inspirational quotes, so they are nice to look at, and read for inspiration.
  • Plant care-Probably my favorite mindful routine. I like giving attention to all my plants, cleaning their leaves, watering them when they need, checking the soil. Taking each one to the sink, and caring for them. I have just enough, so that I am able to care for them. Having too many plants can be overwhelming, and time consuming, so I have the right amount that gives me the space to care for them where it doesn’t take too much of my time, and I am not neglecting any of them. I love getting my cup of coffee, and going at it.
  • Reading-I am currently reading a book on the mind and brain. I find this topic interesting as the brain and mind are quite fascinating to me. I have been trying to read more this year, and I have kept up with it. Reading allows me to be creative, it allows me to think, and it helps fuel inspiration. I also gain new knowledge and perspective from a good read.
  • Nature walks-I haven’t been doing much of this lately. It has been too hot, or I am too exhausted from work, or just not feeling it as much lately. I usually enjoy doing this, during the spring and fall time. I did go to a botanical garden last week, and it was quite lovely seeing all those pretty plants, and walking among nature. It gives you the opportunity to see the beauty of the world. It helps center you back to reality. It is refreshing and rejuvenating.
  • Journaling/Letting thoughts breath- Sometimes I just like to take a break from my computer, and just sit, and let my thoughts get some air. I sometimes write it down, but lately I just have been letting my thoughts out in the air. I sit, look at my plants, look out the window, and just breath. It is quite relaxing to do so. It helps bring me back into the moment.
  • Yoga/Dancing-I put these together, because I usually do them together. I start with a high activity, and wind down with some yoga. I like the mixture. I like to listen to my favorite songs at the moment, and dance to them. I like to get lost in the music, while creating my own choreography to the songs. I find this fun. It helps get my heart rate up, and then yoga helps wind it down, and calms my body and mind.
My go to playlist at the moment

Mindful hobbies/activities help keep the spark in your life. It brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment. It cultivates peace and calmness in this busy and unpredictable world. Once in awhile, or at least once a day, step a way, and find the quiet and joy.

Difficult Emotions(Guilt)

I wanted to create a new series of posts discussing different difficult emotions. I think it is important to understand our emotions, especially difficult ones, so that we can better cope with them. The first emotion I will discuss is guilt.

What is guilt: 

Guilt can be described as a conflict between the id, ego, and superego. These are concepts from the father of psychology Sigmund Freud. Freud describes the superego as the highly moral part of our subconscious. It is the part of us that fights against injustice and points out wrongs in others. The alter to this persona is the id or the primitive, unrestrained parts of our subconscious. Freud believed that the superego and the id are mediated by the ego, which represents a struggle for mental balance between these polar opposites. The conflict between the superego and the ego could also be associated with our guilt, or the conflicted feelings about one’s actions. Whether real or imagined, guilt is actually a feeling of responsibility or remorse for an offense or crime(study.com).

Why do we feel guilt:

We feel guilt when our actions don’t align with our values and morals. We feel guilt when we believe we are letting someone down, or hurting their feelings. We feel guilt when we react harshly to others, saying things we didn’t mean to say, or doing things that can be hurtful. We feel guilt when we hurt others. We feel guilt when we act out of character. Guilt can also be prevalent in empaths who chose others happiness over their own. They feel guilt, because they couldn’t make the other person happy. Guilt is an emotion, like all, that must be felt. You can’t eliminate guilt. We are sentient beings, but learning to limit the affect it has on you can be done.

What can we learn:

There is nothing wrong with you for feeling guilt. You are not a bad person for feeling guilt. If anything, it shows you are a caring individual. Guilt can be helpful, it shows us what we value and care about. It tells us when we are out of character. It allows us to learn from our mistakes. It helps strengthen relationships, and teaches us to be a better person. It shows we respect others, and shows we value others emotions and opinions.

Although, it can be helpful. There are times it can be unhelpful. When you attach negative thoughts to the emotion, and beat yourself down for feeling guilt. Sometimes we will hurt others for our own well-being, happiness, and stability. If someone gets hurt, it is there responsibility to cope with those feelings, not you. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings. There are boundaries that you as an individual should set. You will not like someone as much as they like you. There will be times when you don’t want to spend time with someone, even if they want to. Putting your priorities over others doesn’t make you a bad person. It cultivates mental stability and well-being. Now you shouldn’t intentionally hurt others, step all over people, and bring them down, but you shouldn’t do that to yourself for others as well.

Your mental health and happiness comes first. To help others, you got to help yourself first. You have to say no sometimes. You won’t always live up to the standards of others. You won’t want what others want. You will let others down, and others will let you down. That is what we call life. Learn to use guilt as a guide, or a lesson, rather than using it beat you down. There is no avoiding guilt, or any difficult emotion, so using it as a learning tool can put you in a better place. Emotions are guides, use them to your benefit when they arise. Remember, what can you learn from this emotion and go from there.

Mindful Reminder(Appreciation)

Appreciate the moment. Appreciate what you have. Appreciate the connections one have. Appreciate the things you are able to do. Appreciate the beautiful days. Appreciate the joyful moments.

Learning appreciation can help reduce the power of negativity in your life. Things may suck in life, but there is always something to appreciate. I may not enjoy being overwhelmed and overworked at work sometimes, but I do appreciate that I have a good paying job, nice people to talk to, and working here gave me an opportunity to enjoy a nice vacation at the beach.

This mindset has helped me reduce the negativity I associate with work. I can allow my struggles at work to consume my being with negativity, but I rather focus on the benefits. I rather focus on the good in my life. I rather look forward to the fun plans I have this month. This has helped keep my mind at peace through the storm.

I see some coworkers become consumed with negativity. Becoming easily triggered, angry, and frustrated for any little thing. I just choose not to walk that path. Life is too short, especially when work consumes the majority of your life. I choose to put my energy into positivity and appreciation. No matter what, the situation is what it is, it won’t change no matter how angry, or frustrated I get. I rather try to remain calm and at peace, and be happy, rather than raise my blood pressure, be angry, and negative.

Just remember by being negative, you also distance others from you, eliminating social support and connections, which humans need. Connections, talking to others, and laughing with others, can be very helpful and therapeutic. This is why spreading positive energy is important. Learning to appreciate life more can help cultivate positive energy, peace of mind and happiness.

Let the Emotion Be

I write this, because recently I was feeling lonely. I get this way from time to time, so i decided to get away from my screen, and just sit with the emotion. I sat on my bed, took deep breaths, took in the scenery of my outside window and plants. I decided to write my thoughts, did a word search, and just sat with the emotion. I tried not to judge it, to resist it, or create negative stories about the emotion. I reminded myself, like every emotion, this will pass. I can say, in about 10 minutes the feeling was gone.

I didn’t allow myself to wallow in it, to become a victim of it. I just let it be. Emotions come and go. We have this thought that it will last, which creates resistance, but emotions never last. Remind yourself that it will pass. Just allow yourself to feel. Giving yourself the time to sit with it, and accept it, allows one to move forward much sooner. We are sentient beings. Give yourself the freedom and space to feel. Difficult emotions are apart of being alive.