Boundaries(Learning to Say No)

A personal boundary is a line/limit a person sets between another person to maintain their mental, emotional and physical health. It is important to set these boundaries with others, so you don’t get taken advantage of, or do things you don’t want to do just to keep the peace, or please others. It is okay to compromise and give in every once in awhile, but it should not be a consistent pattern. Doing this creates stress and misery.

It is important to stand your ground and be firm when you need to be. These type of talks are not easy, but they are necessary for the health of your relationship. You may feel uncomfortable and feel guilt, but you and the other individual will get over it. The longer you let the line crossing to continue. The harder it is to stop it, and the more stress and misery one will endure in the long run. This can also lead to anger, frustration, and resentment towards oneself and the other individual.

I had a fellow employee invite himself along with plans with friends. I found that to be rude, and he crossed a boundary for me. I like quality time with my friends, and he ruined that by inviting himself along. The first time I let it go, but after the second time, I had to put a stop to his behavior, so I did. After that situation, he has not invited himself anymore to my plans. This is the importance of letting someone know as soon as possible, so you can stop the behavior. You control how people to advantage of you, not the other individual. They do what you allow them to do.

You should not allow anyone to stray you away from your true self. You may want to keep the peace and not want conflict, but by doing this you create conflict within yourself. In the end it isn’t helpful for yourself, or the other individual. You have to remind yourself that you are not lesser, than the other individual. You deserve just as much peace and happiness as someone else. Your job isn’t to just please others, and bring yourself down.

You can choose to accept the behavior and put up with it, or you can stand firm and let them know. We have a right to do things that bring us joy. We have a right to feel the way we feel. We have a right to live how we want. We have a right to say no. You are not obligated to anyone. You are not responsible for how anyone feels. Remember there needs to be a balance. You don’t want to be to strict, but you don’t want to be too accepting. Once you are able to understand and implement your boundaries. Your life becomes a lot more stress and conflict free.

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