This mindset holds the belief that the world, and others are against you. That one cannot change anything, so the individual does not bother to try. It creates helplessness. It creates dependency. They put the blame on others, and the world for their misfortune. One can be a victim, but one should try to eventually move forward, rather than stay stuck in the past. This mindset can leave you stuck in self-pity and blaming others, rather than searching from within to find solutions to help you improve your situation. I am not talking about victims of traumatic experiences, but rather people who make themselves victims in times of struggle.
Victim mentality keeps you a prisoner in a state of helplessness, paranoia, frustration, depression and misery, to name a few. The blame is on others, which makes it easier for the individual to sit back and do nothing. Although, others can be at fault. It isn’t helpful to put all your energy on blaming and hating others, and the world. You can’t control life situations, and you can’t control others. How exactly can that help you?
What we can use that energy on is making changes on an individual level. Focus on changing our thoughts, feelings, and actions towards the situation. Everyone will be wronged in life. Unfair crap will happen to everyone. We will all have a shot at a bad experience. No one is exempt. You can trap yourself in why me’s?, but honestly why not you? I can guarantee when you have a bad day, so our many others. The best way to cope is to accept the situation, learn, grow, and move forward. Each day will get better.
Just remember that you may perceive life as horrible, but in reality it is not all bad. Even through our struggles, there is also good in our lives. You may lose a job, but you still have a supportive family to help you out. Your car may break down, but you still got a roof over your head. You may break up with a partner, but you still have loving family and friends to lean on and talk to. We tend to blow up the negative, and downplay the positives.
It is normal to feel this way when something bad happens, and that is okay, but there is a point when you got to stop playing victim, and figure out a way to move forward, and grow on a personal level. You become stagnant when you focus your energy on changing others. It is easier to put the blame on others. It takes pressure off of us. You can’t make the world magically fit into what you would like. This attitude doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes you bitter, unproductive and miserable.
People will crap on you sometimes. People will do things that you perceive as hurtful and wrong. You may also do things that hurt others. Life isn’t black and white. There are more sides to the story, than your own. Bad things happen to good people, because bad things happen to everyone. Life is a lesson. Don’t focus your energy on being the victim. Focus on being a fighter instead. Having victim mentality takes away our accountability. It takes away our freedom of choice. It takes away our control to change.
I like to end things with a quote that fits well with this topic. I am really enjoying this book Radical Awakening by Dr.Shefali. She has such insight, and knowledge to become a truly awakened and authentic individual. I recommend picking this one up.
“When we realize that both the problem and the solution lie in ourselves, the process of change begins…Without this, even if the other person changes, we render ourselves beholden to their change. When we see ourselves as our own enslaver, we create a path towards liberation…When we release all external tethers, we unbridle our inner power and free ourselves to be unapologetically autonomous.” Dr.Shefali(Radical Awakening)
Psychology of Mindfulness 