I have been practicing mindfulness for four years now. Although, my mindset, mental health and state of mind has improved. I still have setbacks. Emotions still take over from time to time, mostly during work hours. Negative thoughts appear. I am mindless at times.
My mindful state isn’t always on. Although, I do become aware of my negative thoughts and emotions when it happens, so that is a plus. I do want to get better with dealing with the overwhelming work at my job. I like to learn how to not get frustrated at others for their lack of work ethic, because in the end. I have no control over them, or the situation. I get mad over the same thing, the situation won’t likely change, so I must change my mindset, which is in my control. I am glad I am aware of this, the next step is learning to cope.
I am writing this to say that you will not always be on. You will not always be mindful. We are imperfect human beings. Life is about learning. The exciting part is evolving and improving. Try not to get down on yourself for not being as mindful as you like. The journey is not smooth and easy. It takes work. The only thing you can try to do is to improve. Work on yourself. Work on your goals. Work on your habits. Always remember to be kind to yourself on this journey. We can only work towards being more mindful, content and at peace. There will be some hiccups along the way, but we can learn to keep moving forward, and continuing to grow.
I will continue to work towards improving in this area that makes me less mindful and at peace with myself. I will try to take more deep breaths, during that time. It may not always work, but trying is better, than just giving in to the thoughts and emotions. Remember the five points( focus, awareness, understanding, perspective and acceptance). I can do it! You can do it! There will be difficulties, but you can always learn and improve. It isn’t all or nothing, or black and white. All isn’t lost if you have setbacks.
Psychology of Mindfulness 