Self-defeating thoughts cultivates feelings of sadness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It creates a world of pessimism and negativity. When we have these thoughts we see the world in a glass half empty type of way. We say things like, ‘I am not,’ ‘I will not,’ ‘I can’t,’ ‘I will never.’ These type of thoughts are not healthy, and can cause discomfort and unhappiness.
The way we can confront these type of thoughts is to understand why you are having these type of thoughts. These thoughts stem from past experiences. It could have been a failure, or bad experience, and because of that experience you see things in a more negative light. The thing is these thoughts are just our minds catastrophizing a situation. We are viewing things in an irrational way. We are perceiving things far worse than it really is.
We all do this, but there is a way to train your mind to not see the bad in a situation. It is much easier for us to focus on the negative, than to focus on the positive, but we must train our minds to look at things more realistically, and see the positive. This way of thinking can help us live a happier and healthy life.
As I stated, it is important to see the why behind your thoughts. That is the first thing you should do. Then you should challenge those reasoning’s. See if you can find factual arguments for your thoughts. Try to see the situation for what it really is. We make statements like, ‘I am a failure,’ ‘I am ugly,’ ‘I am not smart,’ ‘I will never be able to achieve what I want to achieve,’ ‘my life is miserable,’ etc… So why do you think this way? Are there facts to back up your belief? Once we look at that. You can start reframing your thoughts.
This is when you start looking at things in a different way. ‘I am a failure,’ this statement is quite vague, it would be good to point out exactly what the failure is, and maybe things are not going the way you want to-that doesn’t make you a failure, sometimes things in life are a struggle, but there must be some things that are going right, maybe there is something different you should try. I am sure one is not a complete failure. ‘I am ugly,’ maybe see things as beauty is subjective. There is no objective truth about beauty.
We may have flaws, but that is what makes us unique. Don’t see that in a negative way, but find ways to embrace it. ‘I am not smart,’ well no one is smart at everything. Intelligence varies in different areas. You just have to find what you are best at. Focus your attention on what you are smart at.
You see reframing is about focusing your attention on the reality and positive side of the situation, rather than seeing things negatively. When you are able to do this you can start focusing on taking action to make whatever you want to happen become a reality. You can’t do this when you constantly have these self-defeating thoughts.
These self-defeating thoughts mainly cultivates a self-fulfilling prophesy. If we perceive things in a way, things may go that way, because we tend to act in self-defeating ways. For example, when I was in high school. I didn’t think I was smart, because of those thoughts. I didn’t try hard in school, because I didn’t try hard. I didn’t get good grades. This made me think I wasn’t smart. It is a cycle. This is a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Once I went to college, and actually applied myself. I realized I was smart, and that gave me confidence, which then I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. These type of self-defeating thoughts can really have a negative impact on your life. This is why it is important to reframe your mindset, and then take action. Taking action is a very important step. Nothing you want to achieve can happen without action.
So in summary one must see the why behind your self-defeating thoughts, then challenge those thoughts, then reframe those thoughts, and then take action. When you can do this. You will see an improvement, and much more happiness in your life.
Psychology of Mindfulness 